TO THE FAZMOBILE!!

Hordes of Armageddon loving misfits are scurrying up and down Wall Street today, in hopes of a near term market top. After all, President O’bama is a communist and America is stupid. Deep down, everyone is rooting for China to conquer the U.S. and enslave all of the fat guys, in order to “solve” the burgeoning unemployment problem. On a very personal level, I’d like to physically detach the entire state of California (save Danny), sending it right into China’s brand new shiny Naval fleet—effectively killing two birds with one stone.

All of the good news, recently bestowed upon your face, will be ripped off soon—like a Brazilian waxing.

Believe you me, there are some stocks going higher, even in today’s tape. However, I am not into that sort of thing. Instead of storing my dough in boring stocks, like PepsiCo, Inc. [[PEP]] or The Coca-Cola Company [[KO]] , I rather hold cash and live to kill another day. If you are interested in some sort of hand holding, during times of duress, you’ve come to the wrong place. Go buy a stuffed animal and eat a chocolate bar in the shower, if you are into that sort of pussified behavior.

So, what are we going to talk about? The market is going lower and I am not shorting stocks. Maybe I can give you fuckers real time updates on the condition of my cash. You know, I can let you bastards know if any of the bills get creased or torn— or update you of any minuscule money market rate changes.

“The Fly” is into that sort of thing, during the latter months of the summer. While sipping, NEVER GUZZLING, on a 50/50 blend of iced-T lemonade, I bowl on you—despite not even being in the bowling alley, if you know what I mean (you most certainly do not).

Go buy yourself a $100 tomato and let me know how your common stock portfolios are doing. I eagerly await rejecting all of your pesky requests!!

Ciao

Don Fly