iBC Wishes You a Very Bad Christmas

In the event that you may want to track Santa Claus, the kids will love this site.

As for me, well, I’ll be busy throwing egg nog on the balsam and dreaming of kicking people down moving escalators. The holidays are always fun for Plutonium Petey. The kids get spoiled, while the adults inebriate themselves, in a very jolly sort of way.

Traditionally, we eat seafood, which consists of crab, mussels, scallops, shrimp and lobster, in a fra diavolo sauce. It’s an Italian mafia tradition, which dates back to the fun filled days when Great Grandpa Fly had a strangle hold over NYC’s “street lenders,” up in old Harlem.

As far as I’m concerned, the market can go hump a horse. I have my gains (64%). But, incidentally, I am not too happy about them. I define myself by failures. I am never content and always mad as fuck over my miscues.

For example: I am still pissed off over my series of SMN debacles, from early ’08. And, let’s not forget, covering my POT short, in the high 100’s. I am 100% positive that taking a negative view of my success helps me, if you get my drift.

iBankcoin had a terrific year. We added some new bloggers. Traffic has been expanding exponentially, on a monthly basis. And, for the love of dog shit and skateboards, I think we did a pretty good job helping our reader base dodge some pretty serious potholes, unlike Howard.

If you are one of the many who had a bad year, don’t let it ruin your holiday. Remember, when it’s all said and done, we’re all going to be plumbers anyway, once Barack the Builder begins remodeling America.

Chill out. Go drink some spiked egg nog, kiss the kids and be thankful that Godly folks, like the bloggers of iBankcoin, are still around speaking the truth for all of the internet to see and hear.

UPDATE: Pleasant holiday read. Short TM and HMC, with impunity.

UPDATE II: Epic Don Harrold vid.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8BH4M9V1N8&feature=related 450 300]

The trend is broken. However, who knows what the Obama lovers will do come JANUARY 1st—also known as the magical day when everything changes.

You assholes are so quick to give the economy the benefit of the doubt, it’s sickening. I want to spit on you, from a 100 yard distance.

At the bell, the following bear positions are somewhat prominent in “The Fly’s” portfolio:

FAZ, SMN, SRS, ERY, DUG, short XOM, short LFC, short VNO and short RIG.

Here are some longs:

ABX, C, GE, UNH and PFE

Without being too long winded and wasting more of my valuable time, I think having a bearish bias into the end of 2008 is the way to go. Too many cocksuckers are out and about trying to “take on more risk,” due to the Fed’s actions. They will be wrong, as always.

Unlike 2000-2003, there is not the vast amount of retail chains, in nascent/high growth stages, to fill vacancies. Back then, there was SBUX, BWLD, GME, PNRA, CMG, and many others, gobbling up available space, effectively bailing out commercial Re. Also, there were banks opening up branches on every corner, like fucking crack spots.

Ask yourself a question: Who will fill the vacancies at the strip malls and tall office buildings, after liquidations are completed and corporations slash their head count and/or close up shop?

Idiot tankers were waiting in the middle of the ocean for the January crude contract to expire, so that they could sell their oil at the much high February prices. Much to their chagrin, everyone was doing this. As a result, oil cannot get traction here.

I suspect there is a lot of panic selling taking place, with the physical owners of crude—who have been crushed into one thousand pieces of dust.

To see strength in refiners is equally fucktarded, since their margins are compressed to nothing, sans diesel and jet fuel (how long will that last?). People are assuming crude will trade up, effectively enriching the refiners (VLO, WNR, SUN, TSO) with lots of fiat currency.

But you fuckers are just guessing, aren’t you?

Question:

Why do you think oil should trade higher than where it was in 2002-2003?

Oil is down from $140 to $40 in 5 quick months. The ramifications of this “homo hammer” has not been reflected in the underlying securities, in my opinion. There will be bankruptcies and rumors of bankruptcies.

Men who work in tar sands will be fired and told to go fuck themselves. The jackass who locked in $500,000 per month rig rates will be castrated and fed to a pride of lions.

I suspect the chickens will be coming home to roost, very early, in 2009.

Trade accordingly.

NOTE: I am long ERY, DUG, short XOM and short RIG.

I know Woodcheddar and Danny love the inverse etf products. However, this whole cap gains distribution shit just kicked my hatred for Profunds up ANOTHER NOTCH.

Bam ( Fly throws powedered sugar at his monitor)!

I know most of you imbeciles, like Dennis “The Commodity King” Gartman, believe the banks will magically begin lending again, come January 1st. However, for some odd reason “The Fly” thinks the banks are ham and egging it, unable to make loans because of their cloaked INSOLVENCY.

As an aside, my short position in LFC is off to a good start and the Bernie Madoff story is getting more interesting by the minute.

There is a distinct likelihood that I will do nothing today. But, in the event that I get in the mood to roll some dice, I may short some WFC, into the bell.

Everything you think you know, you don’t.

Stocks are designed to make the corporation money, not you.

Technical analysis is the new “Zoltar the Teller”—pure rubbish.

The market is now the equivalent of the Wild West, circa 1870’s. Therefore, be sure to make your stock career short and sweet, otherwise it will destroy you. No matter how good you are, it’s only a matter of time—with exception to “The Fly” of course.

Finally, the vanity of Christmas makes me sick.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbnzlamj668&feature=channel_page 450 300]

What a piece of shit. Did you see SRS go from +8 to +2 in the last 10 minutes of trade? Seriously, the end of the day spastic rallies need to stop, else I am going to inflict bodily harm on random people.

Just when it looked like a solid down day, BAM, the asshole dip buyers step in and queer up the tape.

The late day fuckery in SRS, SMN, and other idiot 200% etf’s, is why I will discard them shortly and never trade them again. EVER. They represent everything that is stupid about Wall Street: bad product with cheap leverage.

FUCK YOU PROSHARES. May Santa Claus bomb your homes with napalm laced egg nog.

At any rate, despite the late day rally, I still think we grind lower.

My top picks are short KIM, short VNO, short XOM, short RIG and short LFC.

Do yourself a favor and avoid the thin tape amateur action: go to cash.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9U3pZFPNcc&feature=channel_page 450 300]

Developing…

I sold short 5,000 LFC @ $45.22.

Disclaimer: If you sell short LFC because of this post, you will believe Cramer’s advice at face value. And, you may lose money.