Europe is Especially Screwed

It’s amazing to see”professional money managers” on CNBC exclaim we are at or near a bottom and brag about being fully invested. Mutual funds do not have to be 100% in stock. What’s wrong with having a 10-15% cash position?

I mean, really, if you are bullish and insist on being long stocks, dollar cost average into your favorite positions—from now until summer. Upon doing so, I’m sure you “bottle fuckers” will only be down 20%, instead of 40%, by the 4th of July.

As for Europe:

I want to sell short the entire country of Germany. In 2008, earnings are expected to be down 18%, as slow growth, coupled with a weak dollar, knee caps their exports. The whole world is fighting for the Asian consumer. The one advantage us Americans have over the Euro whores is our incredibly shrinking dollar. It’s killing them.

My guess, German markets will double whatever egregious losses that come out of the U.S., effectively sending the DAX below 6,000.

Oh, and another thing: quit excluding financials from your fucking earnings estimates for the S&P 500. That’s as stupid as the fucktards who exclude food and energy from the inflation data.

Thanks.

Finally, with my money, I want to add to [[SMN]], [[DUG]] and [[LEH]] short. Also, without doubt, oil has significant downside here, which will benefit [[DCR]].

As of right now, my largest position is [[SKF]].

Mike Huckabee looks like a fucking shoe salesman.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juAiVW5PzNI 450 300]

Instead of listening to the guy with the time machine (Fly), you listened to the coked out bald guy on TV.

Go ahead, try to scalp a short term bottom. “The Fly” could give two fucks and a gay goat about 2-3 day moves. I’m into making big money, off of huge moves.

Finally, before I go vote for Donald Duck in today’s election charade, just know and understand, “The Fly” is genetically superior to you and he sits in a vastly more expensive chair.

Be well or not. Either scenario is acceptable with me.

Top pick: [[SKF]]

NOTE: A shout out to Rev Shark for calling Cramer out on his asshattery today, on RealMoney aka waste of 35 bucks per month.

Go ahead, bet against me. See where it gets you.

Developing…

I bought 2,000 [[DUG]] @ $46.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy DUG because of this post, your only son will grow up to be like Dennis Kneale. And, you may lose money.

I covered some of my [[DECK]] short, buying 5,000 @ $114.19.

As per Cramer, foreign bankers are “fighting” and outbidding one another for the worthless assets of [[BSC]]. In addition, as per Cramer, during recessions the market goes straight up, with hardly any pullbacks. So, consider today’s 300 point drubbing an optical illusion. We’re really up a “couple hunge.”

Oh, don’t forget to buy another house, as per Cramer.

In all seriousness, something must be said about how irresponsible that fucker is, telling the unwashed to “buy it all,” because the recession is coming and “The Fed is our friend.”

I mean, who makes this shit up? Does he really believe what he says? Finally, since when is it “smart” or “prudent” to drive dynamite filled cars into the sun?

Look you, I’m not here to gloat. I’m here to tell you fuckers “The Fly’s” IQ is much greater than yours. Plus anyway, while you’re sleeping like little bitches, he is out in his time machine acquiring valuable information.

If you’re short [[DECK]] from the high 130’s, like me, you may want to take a little off the table here and redouble the [[SMN]] position. I anticipate [[MON]] will soon die an “unglorious” death.

Finally, it’s worth noting, “The Fly” has already consumed 3 Monster Energy Soda’s. Get in his way, he may rip the sleeves off your bullshit jacket.

Developing…

Cramer UPDATE: He is now short term bearish. Geez.

“My take, we can rally a bit down 300, but until we get oversold — and we are nowhere near it — you sell the rally. There’s no way the Fed can cut this week, so I suspect more pressure ahead, particularly on the commodity and financial names.”

By far, the funniest thing I’ve watched, year to date. It reminds me of Grandpa Fly. May God rest his soul.

Hat tip: Mdawsz

May your Phoenix dish #5 be served without robster.