iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,446 Blog Posts

The SEC is Gonna Arrest You

You’re not allowed to short bank stocks anymore. That shit is illegal and the SEC will punch your face off for it.

See, by shorting bank stocks, you are fucking up the government’s mojo, with regards to ripping off retired coal miners and sanitation workers.

For the most part, banks are all about taking the life savings of school teachers and fire fighters, then pissing it away on some exotic investment vehicle—like a CDO squared.

Soon you will hear of inquiries and rumors of inquiries from the SEC. They will come down hard on hedge fund managers who might have emailed a colleague: “LEH is a fucking pig.” There will be public hangings of these short sellers, since, after all, it was they who decided to make money market funds a risky investment, right?

In all seriousness, the people at [[FNM]] and [[FRE]] have important friends, who hold powerful government positions. We all know they are insolvent. But, they will not be allowed to fail for obvious reasons.

The right thing to do is to let them reorganize, cancel most of the debt by converting it to ‘new equity,’ then reissuing new shares, after reorg. Instead, it appears the Fed will keep this brain dead patient on life support, in the most inhumane manner. No matter what, eventually, FNM/FRE will fail—due to the flawed structure of their businesses.

With regards to today’s trading, I kicked out my last 15,000 [[UYG]]. Bank stocks are spring loaded again, on the backs of [[JPM]] earnings.

Did anyone doubt Jamie Dimon’s ability to pull rabbit out of his ass?

I am still holding my [[RKH]] position, in order to hedge my regional bank shorts.

Right here, I like [[RIG]], short [[VLY]], short [[PACW]] and short [[WABC]].

Bank stocks are being pumped up by asshats, who play the accordion while preparing spaghetti with meatballs.

Top pick: RIG

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32 comments

  1. CubsRock

    RIG is going nowhere, be patient and buy for less.

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  2. Donny

    Where’s that little fucker, Merlin? I want him to come out of the closet and perform a “Poof” on the permaidiots.

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  3. BOOMER

    Long 100 GOOG @ 530.39.

    And I’m headed to the trails.

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  4. Cajun

    I had one of my alligators eat Merlin.

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  5. Jim Rogers Short Bus
    Jim Rogers Short Bus

    Rig is up you fuckhead

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  6. Juice

    I tried to short FNM this am … no way Jose

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  7. It appears the Fly is setting the stage for Merlin – if the banks rally is over, they will be hated more than ever – with prejudice.

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  8. Merlin's Apprentice
    Merlin's Apprentice

    Merlin will be holding a press conference shortly regarding the banks.

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  9. HA ha ha

    Bank stocks are being pumped up by asshats, who play the accordion while preparing spaghetti with meatballs.

    There’s nothing like sitting at my desk after a day of profitable wins, watching my attractive assistants arrange my coin in neat stacks around the office, and reading stuff like that.

    All I need now is a mint julip to get the blood flowing, and maybe a few minutes of “Rally Monkey”.

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  10. buck nekkid porn star
    buck nekkid porn star

    POOF- your $20k fuckin IRA has vanished like my latest outbreak of “cold sores”

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  11. Juice

    fm minyanville – Todd Harrison 10:25:27 AM

    Where is Franklin Raines?

    Minyan Michael located our good pal Franklin Raines and, as we’ve been talking to him for six years in the ‘Ville, I thought ye faithful would like an update on his whereabouts as Fannie and Freddie are front page news.

    Some highlights since he left the helm:

    * He’s shaved eight points off his golf handicap.

    * He’s taken the corner office in Steve Case’s company.

    * He’s driving a sleek BMW sedan.

    * He’s taking calls form Barack Obama’s team seeking advice on mortgage and housing policy (Oy!).

    * He’s ducking responsibility for Fannie’s problems and pointing the finger at the Bush administration.

    * He’s praising Hank Paulson for “propping up the company.”

    * He said “Watching from outside the limelight has been frustrating”

    * His payment of $2,000,000 and the forfeiture of $22.7 million in stock did not come out of his pocket. It was covered by insurance!

    * He separated from his wife of 25 years (I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but it’s what is).

    * He’s in strong recovery mode. (More than his former employees can say).

    Now, we don’t do acrimony in the ‘Ville–it’s not the style of our community–and I’m not going to break tradition here.

    What I will say is this–shame on you, Franklin Raines. Much like Alan Greenspan was the architect of the cumulative imbalances that will burden our children with obligations, you helmed the Titanic and snuck off with the life-vests.

    There are two lenses with which to view your legacy. Either you knew what you were doing and, for that, you should be liable, be it in the court of public opinion or otherwise. Or you didn’t, in which case you had no business running the company and getting rich in the process.

    As policy-makers and politicians point fingers and paint banks with the blame brush, you’re enjoying a posh life and bumming about your legacy. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve gotten off quite easy and for that you should be thankful.

    Lord knows those left in the wake of your destruction aren’t.

    Sorry for the rant and, as always, it’s one man’s humble opinion. I may be wrong but on my word, I’ll always be honest.

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  12. big snacks

    bought xto and apc here

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  13. TraderCaddy

    Very strange. I tried shorting SMH earlier when it was @ $29.44 and they said it wasn’t available for shorting. First time that has ever happened. Back to the British Open. Go USA.

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  14. buck nekkid porn star
    buck nekkid porn star

    I’ve pulled lotsa things from lotsa asses, but that Jamie Dimon, wow, now there is some serious stuff-from-the-ass-pulling going on.

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  15. CubsRock

    Since everyone wants some of SKF draw this trendline and you have an easy entry/exit etc. Has been working for me..

    Damn links not working, wish jeremy would change that.

    http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/6306/skfjd4.jpg

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  16. Juice

    more fm MV – Bennet Sedacca

    12:01:09 PM

    No positions in stocks mentioned.

    The Real Deal with Mother Merrill

    So, Merrill (MER) sells its stake in Bloomberg to Mr. Bloomberg. For those that don’t know Mr. Bloomberg, he was a rather good trader prior to starting Bloomberg LP. As a 20-year user of the service, I can tell you it’s second to none.

    So why would Merrill sell its stake at a low level? Because it had to.

    Its preferreds trade at 12-13%, so that isn’t viable. Its debt? Yeech.

    So it sold the crown jewel.

    You know why? Because it has three times equity in Level III assets and can’t sell them.

    This is horrible news IMO. It tells me the company will probably spin off the brokerage unit next. Then get absorbed by someone else. It has no way out. Like many, many others.

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  17. sniper6

    Bought HK @ 40.25

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  18. DPeezy

    The SEC has already sent all the short sellers to the Gulag. How do you think we got this 300 point rally?

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  19. Gemini

    Bought DUG @ 34.30 here for a crude oil break.

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  20. Big Mike

    BEHOLD!!! BIG MIKE’s LATEST HOLDINGS…

    1. SHORT RIG
    2. Pocket sized bazookas
    3. Cash

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  21. Juice

    The PPT will be active trying to goose financial stocks thru the friday close. Come Monday, there will be a slew of offerings from the goosed financials. I think those offerings lay big fat, not-golden eggs and down the elevator shaft goes the market.

    In addition to their list of no-no shorts, have no doubt that they have green-lighted/given the wink to, any financial reporting this month and this month only (so far), that they can make up whatever numbers they like. Hence the absurd beats by JPM, PNC, etc … lets see what magic COF can come up with tonight.

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  22. The Fly

    RIG will cut your balls off, fuckface.

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  23. CubsRock

    Index’s printing inverse head and shoulders, but I’m biased…

    VSE is now over $5

    My tiny CSCO position is pulling a RIG while JNPR goes up. Nice call on CSCO Fly.

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  24. TraderCaddy

    How come I hit the thumbs up karma on Fly’s comment and it came out negative? Me thinks the SEC has hacked into Fly’s server.
    Seriously I did.

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  25. TraderCaddy

    Gold is sneaking along to $1000. Silver has been acting stronger and the gold stocks basically suck and aren’t keeping up.
    South Africa golds have been doing better than N.A. golds and I don’t recall that happening in a couple of years. Watch AU,GFI,HMY and a spec on TRE (not SA but is Tanzanian)

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  26. Juice

    TC – The SEC/PPT is using tax-payer money to short gold stocks on the down tick.

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  27. spinnaker

    Fly,
    Are you still long and strong FTK?
    Thanx-Spin

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  28. TraderCaddy

    Juice- Justice should indict the PPT and SEC officials for shorting. What a hoot.

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  29. Anton Cigur

    Dan Fitzpatrick
    Inquiring Minds Want to Know if the Commodities Bubble Has Burst?
    7/17/2008 12:33 PM EDT

    “Big question of the day on CNBC seems to be whether the commodities bubble has burst. Aside from being unanswerable by all but the intellectually dishonest, the question presumes something that I am not willing to presume:
    That commodities are, in fact, in a bubble.

    Three consecutive down days–each one to a lesser degree than the last–doesn’t mean anything. This “ebb” in the ebb and flow of prices gives the media something to talk about between commercial breaks — and nothing more.

    Here’s my bet. Three months from now financials will be lower, and commodities will be higher. Beyond that…flip the coin.

    Why?

    Because the fundamental dynamics that are pushing commodities like oil, natural gas and precious metals higher have not changed. Is there really any credible argument that we are not in an inflationary environment as money is printed with reckless abandon? This isn’t the stuff that creates bubbles; this is the stuff that has long-lasting implications beyond the current news cycle.

    And the fundamental dynamics that are pushing financials lower have not changed either. Until the smoke and mirrors are removed and there is some transparency rather than lip service, valuing the financial sector is pretty easy — just take what you are told by the companies at face value. In other words, just trust them.

    Sure, that’ll work.

    Stock is exchanged for cash…and that cash is used to buy other stock.

    This is money rotation…not a change in fundamentals.

    But it sure does keep us interested, doesn’t it?

    Position: none”

    The only thing I would change in Fitz’s post is that money is being printed not just with reckless, but with gay abandon.
    -AC

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  30. TraderCaddy

    INTC moving along.

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  31. sniper6

    wow PCX in free fall mode. Old Man Trader nailed that call.

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  32. mrkcbill

    Donny wins again!

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