PARABOLIC

The spike in oil is so alarming, immediately following this post, I will fill up my Lexus gas guzzler, with a fresh tank. And, I will call my wife and tell her to fill up the other cars.

With oil spiking like this, you have to be long energy stocks.

For a short squeeze, my favorite is [[FTK]].

My preferred “dunk shot”: is [[RIG]]. And, based upon valuation, [[PCZ]] is cheaper than a Bronx whore on a rainy night.

All in all, “The Fly” is enjoying Godly returns (+3%), as everything is working, with exception to a few stupid longs. However, for the most part, my big energy positions, coupled with my inverse ETF “funhouse of death and carnage,” are working hard.

Keep in mind, should this market continue to slide, you will find no safe quarter in equities, regardless of sector. Instead, you will receive the ominous “black flag,” which is never a good thing.

At some point, EVERYTHING becomes a “source of funds.” So, in order to protect your bullshit accounts, ignore the newly invented “bull ball juggler”: Rick Santelli, and sell short some stocks.

Personally, I wish grave things to the fucktards in China. Sell short [[CHL]] with impunity, based upon valuation and gayness of its host country. Moreover, it may be time to nail [[LEH]] again, being that it’s up for two consecutive days.

Top pick: [[FXP]], short CHL

The Government stats are so corrupt and fucktarded, they’re forgetting their own lies. How the fuck does the unemployment rate jump to 5.5%, yet only report a loss of 49,000 jobs?

Truly amazing.

Nonetheless, people are hardcore out of work. Apparently, the Great Depression, part II, is back on the table.

In other news, oil has begun to take on the trading characteristics of an equity, up more than $9 in two days. Did that fucker just report better than expected earnings or a 3:1 stock split? Maybe the FDA approved “oil” as a safe way to defeat cancer? One teaspoon of oil per day, and your cancer goes away.

As you can see, long energy/short everything else is still the best trade out there.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8PIfKNtzs 450 300]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMJVpn4BM_Y 450 300]

When markets get stupid like this, I quit thinking. It’s party time and everyone fucktard with an asshat is invited.

Luckily, I was heavily long energy stocks, going into today’s grindhouse. My losses were to the tune of 1.2%, thanks to the amazing decline in both [[FXP]] and [[SRS]]. Also, my short positions in [[POT]] and [[COWN]] added to my losses.

On the long side, I had “big dicked” gains in [[RIG]], [[PCZ]], [[FTK]], [[CTSH]], [[AAPL]], [[NOV]] and [[QTWW]].

The fascinating thing about today’s tape was that it was bullet proof to a $5+ upside move in crude and credit downgrades of [[ABK]] and [[MBI]]. In short, the bears ran for cover, ahead of tomorrow’s economic data. Which is funny, because the data is likely to be bad.

At any rate, almost every sector spiked, especially retail, energy and ag. Just yesterday, I was bitching about being too hedged and expressed my dismay with minor daily changes in my portfolios. Boy am I glad to be hedged today, indeed.

My game plan is fairly simple, yet succinct:

Wait for a “clown bounce” in the financials, then short them.

Avoid shorting commodity related names, despite their “dot commish” behavior.

Go long energy related names, with inpunity, because, as Guy Adami would say: “they’re cheap on a valuation basis.”

Buy more FXP, under $65.

Buy more SRS, under 80.

Sell some AAPL, above $200.

With the dollar strengthening, add to my Indian IT service plays, which include: CTSH, [[INFY]], [[SAY]], [[WIT]] and [[WNS]].

Never fuck with ethanol stocks again.

Off to coach a baseball game.

I bought 5,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, the next time you’re at Home Depot, a large piece of lumber will fall on your neck. And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6N9FW0Xwcg 450 300]

Are my eyes deceiving me? Oil is up more than 5 bucks now. On this move, I suspect the market will weaken. If it doesn’t today, it will tomorrow. Nonetheless, energy related stocks should “retard up,” while everything else burns to a crispy cinder.

Right now, [[FTK]], [[RIG]], [[ARD]], [[PCZ]] and [[UPL]] are screaming buys, amongst many others in the space.

For a dice roll, take a look at [[PZE]], [[LEI]], [[END]], [[XCO]], [[WRES]] and [[TXCO]].

This market is crazier than a hungry lion on the moon.

NOTE: If you want to forgo all the noise and just get long crude, take a look at [[DYY]], another 200% upside product.

Food and beverage stocks rip higher, when prosperity springs. There have been studies done, none available to me at the present, that draw a correlation between beverage consumption and wealth creation. Basically, people drink more soda pop when they have money to burn. When poor, they’re more likely to drink water out of a dirty lake.

Today, many of the food and beverage stocks are “homo hammering” the bears, into small pancakes.

On the top of my list is [[HANS]]. I know the stock has been a serial underperformer. However, keep in mind, their problems have nothing to do with end user demand. It’s the rise in their input costs that is killing their margins.

Here is a short list of food and beverage stocks worth monitoring:

In short, we’re fucking rich again. Go get drink and eat yourself into a stupor—you fat slobs.

If you’re interested in a potential short squeeze, take a gander at [[FTK]] again. With 4 million shares sold short or 15% of the float, and crude/natty going up, this sucker has a potential to print $20+ again.

The downside surprise has been eliminated, at least in the near term, due to the company’s recent guidance. And, if you’re a glass half full type of guy, one can make the argument that the current eps estimates represent a very low bar for the company.

In short, trading under 15x, FTK can easily rip to the low 20’s and start a short squeeze, especially since the stock trades on thin volume.