Bernanke is Going to Twist Your Head Off

Rumors are running rampant in Europe, surrounding French banks. There is talk the government is going to force French banks to merge, in order to recapitalize and Qatar taking a stake in BNP Paribas. On that news, French banks are rallying and US futures are climbing.

Goldman upped the price target on AAPL to $520 and Janney lowered the price target on NFLX to $102. Clearly, there is a tale of two cities taking place in America, where the haves and doing exponentially better than the have nots. Howsoever, that doesn’t mean the government is entitled to redistribute capital on behalf of the “little guy.” People who are rich worked hard for their money. They shouldn’t be penalized because the dicksuckers in Congress don’t know how to manage a budget.

I read a story yesterday that the Department of Justice spent $16 per muffin, $10 per cookie and $8 per cup of coffee for their fucking conferences. Really? You have to be kidding me. And then these same assholes come to us and say “we all have to pay our fair share.” How about this, go to Dunkin’ Donuts for your coffee and lay off the fucking cookies and muffins you fat faced hacks. Not only will you save the country money in cookie expenditures (yes, I said “cookie expenditures”), but you will avoid a coronary, leading to even more savings by not having to foot the bill for your hospital expenses.

Mr. 0bama, do you want to create new jobs without spending another nickel? Here is my proposal. Since we all need to pay our fair share, ask your people at the Unions to implement a 20% pay cut across the board, in order to hire skilled American workers. That makes sense, doesn’t it? We all share in the struggle, build a sense of community across the nation. It will be good for the soul.

Into the Fed, I am staying put, 70% long–mostly in tech.

Today was clever. Even though I lost, I do enjoy watching the market do extraordinary things. I am a fan of the stock market first, investor second. Today’s incognito decapitation of the bulls was perfect. They lulled suckers like me into the tape, with headline strength. Slowly, they boiled the clumsy pigs all day in underperforming momentum names. Then at the end of the day they threw down the gauntlet and QWICKLY (NFLX) decapitated all of the bulls, AND MORE.

The S&P showed minor losses, but the damage was far more extensive.

Should that fuckfaced Clam do nothing tomorrow, you’re all going to hell. And, you’re getting Rick Perry’d too.

Nevertheless, sleep well and try not to worry about stupid shit, like money. Eventually, this shit will sort out and we’ll all be rich as fuck, or desperately poor, battling one another for water sources and/or farm land. I went from gains to losses, like a gentleman in the night, tipping his hat to a lady draped in pearls. I didn’t bitch about it like some of you dicksuckers, but behaved in a very dignified and honorable manner.

Tomorrow, for the occasion, I expect all of you to visit iBankCoin dressed in a tuxedo, top hat, white gloves, black cane tipped with white ivory. Failure to do so will lead to your immediate banning.

NOTE: Women ARE NOT exempted from this dress code.

Just 51% of stocks are up today, with marked weakness in commodities and tech. In other words, despite what the indices say, we’re really down today. Many widely held stocks are weak, including some of mine. As the day progresses, tech falls into “QWICKSTER MURDERHOLES.”

Don’t worry about me, pal. I’m in the high income tax bracket, paying for all of your food stamps. If I lose money, I will simply chalk it up to “paying my fair share”, fully supporting the communist regime in America.

In summary, I sold out of TLT, added to VMW, LCC, CIEN, AG, MU and LCC. For the day, I am barely up, grossly underperforming the broader indices. To be fair, I am underperforming HD, but fantastically outperforming shares of NFLX.

True to the game and consequences, I am going into Le Fed day with a 70% long position, reserving 30% cash for market calamities.

I added to all three positions, lowering my cash position to 30%.

The Federal Reserve is going to punch you in the face, one way or another. The market is in lift-off mode right here, solidifying my belief this is a net long or all cash tape. Getting short here is too hard, due to policy risk. If you want to short, wait for the crisis to pass and base your picks around the economy. At this stage, everything is whipsawing around, in frantic, panicky, retard mode.

I sold out of all of my TLT position for a small gain and have begun allocating said dollars into AG. I have my reasons, all revolving around the idea that silver stocks outperform during risk on periods and are sheltered during “fuck you, you’re dead” modes. And, with “Operation Twist” right around the corner, I am a seller of treasuries.

I tripled down on my VMW call position and added to common. I am rather emphatic about the prospects of airlines, even though they are hated. The numbers look good. Take a minute to look at them before casting aspersions. God willing, cracks come in and LCC soars.

With regards to WNR: it is now a minority position of mine, less than 5%. I simply could not wait any longer for the stock price to catch up to the fundies. However, I look forward to revisiting the name, down the road.

I am tempted to get long NFLX here. However, the stock is under too much pressure, due to insane headline risk. This saga will be memorialized in college textbooks on how NOT to raise prices and fuck up your company in the process. It is unbelievable how much damage was afflicted to this company because of intervention. NFLX reminds me of the US government, always meddling with customers (tax payers). Sometimes you just have to let things flow, especially if the model isn’t broken. I am not sure who benefits from a wounded NFLX, aside from short sellers. But, these sort of blackswan drops rarely portend something big. Everyone thought BP was going to zero when they fucked up the GOM. Yet, the stock was on sale during the crisis and advantageous longs benefitted greatly from buying the blood. Without a doubt, buying the NFLX blood will reward people handsomely. The only question is: when? If I were to buy, I’d implement a buy program, acquiring shares every 5% down, starting with a 50% position now.

I bought a large amount of AG.

UPDATE: I added to my VMW position.

Disclaimer: If you buy AG because of this post, the next time you see Hugh Hendry in the street, he will punch you in the face. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of my TLT position.

European markets are not crashing and our futures are indicating a higher open. The sociopaths at S&P must be saddened by this news, as their intent is to fuck with people and jar markets. If they were really interested in grading credit properly, they would have done so in 2007. As far as I am concerned, it’s too late for redemption. Their credentials should be stripped and doors closed for good.

If we rally today, I will most likely do nothing, yet again. My positions are in limbo, basically flat, awaiting a catalyst to press forward. MU has that RMBS lawsuit, which should be decided on shortly. Either way, MU is absurdly cheap down here.

Unless the ball of yarn gets tossed down the steps, I will remain positioned for a tech rally in October, with a TLT hedge. I will not allocate cash into this market due to the risks to the banking system. Understand, the type of risk that is present now can sink the market 20% in a single day. On the other hand, policy makers are obsessed with creating inflation, which is viewed as bullish for stocks. These cross-currents make for a psychopathic market, one that cannot be trusted, long or short. Knowing that, I will continue to trade small and try to make the best of this fucked up situation.

I spoke too early when I said the bears were setting up to be executed. As you know by now, the devil’s advocate, S&P, downgraded Italy to A, outlook negative. I know the knee-jerk reaction is to ignore “suchness.” However, Italian 10yr bonds are already too high, at 5.58%. This is going to press the envelop on Spain too and soon after, France. The only way this gets kicked down the road is if the ECB levers up the EFSF and prints euros like a motherfucker to dilute the debt. Due to the political differences, this is not likely to happen.

Even though the patient has cancer and is going to die without medicine, the guardians are so embedded in their own way of thinking, it’s virtually impossible for them to agree on anything that will save the patient. Why?

Answer: politics.

I am now 45% cash and treasuries, due to my permanent floor of 30% cash and oversized TLT position. Although I will lose money tomorrow, I suspect the market will snap back after the Fed takes action. Nevertheless, the way this “crisis” is unfolding, one has to think it’s being done on purpose. Seriously, criminal masterminds could not plan this out better, if they were hell bent on destroying the western banking system. It’s as if our leaders were hired guns for Al Qaeda, purposefully dismantling America one brick at a time. I can guarantee you this: Obama’s holy war against the rich will fail and he will be a one term President. It is truly unbelievable how jaded this man is, with regards to “the rich.” Trust me, I hate talking politics and rarely feel this passionate about these sort of things. But, if this country is interested in getting the fuck out of this manufactured depression, we need to elect Romney, and fast.

Get the Baine in there and you will see this market roar.

Fucking cowards. I was willing to sit at my desk and lose 5% today, amidst a barrage of unforgiving sell orders by the prescient bears. Instead, I lost less than 1% and the bulls fucking steamrolled the bears in the final hour of trade.

Prepare to be kicked in the balls, then decapitated, my ursine enemies.

There isn’t a place in the world you can hide, as The Clam is an expert at hiding and knows where to look.

With just two days before your funeral, ask yourself “what shall I do in my final days?”

As for me, I sold some non-essentials, eyeballed some other shit, made arrangements to buy more equities. My only problem: stocks aren’t cheap enough. Aside from GSVC and CIEN, I am up or flat on all of my positions, so there isn’t a great sense of urgency for me to do anything. At a minimum, I will sell my TLT and throw that money into a fucking flaming barrel of garbagio aka “stocks.”