HERE IT COMES

I sold out of OPEN, PWRD, RFMD, RENN and HSOL–upping my cash position to 50%. Additionally, I averaged down on my personal TZA position, mainly because we’re going the fuck lower.

At the present, I have a blend of longs and shorts, but mostly cash. I have every intention to skirt the coming correction, boasting trading precision this world has never seen before. I will conquer the land of Twitter and drives javelins through the skulls of people sleeping peacefully at Zuccotti park. Should you be camped out in Zuccotti and see a 1980’s style stretch limousine, run for the fucking hills; because I’ll be tossing m-80’s at the vagrants below.

I can only pray to the Gods for some sort of fucked up conclusion to the European debt crisis. Have you ever considered it is virtually impossible to save the European banking system via creating more debt, paid for by one nation: Germany?

Bottom line: the positions I sold were weak, speculative, high beta stocks that have the ability to crush me if we are on the other side of the mountain. So, I sold them and will not look back.

Preparing for winship.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G021t5ufAmk 603 500]

Slow your roll; you’re carrying too much shit.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and believe this market is off to the races again. Like it or not, we are in a depression. Before you know it, you too will be drinking black smoke from grotesquely large mugs– alongside the Occupy Wall Street crowd.

People are buying Citi this morning, even though the numbers scream sell. Investment banking is down 30% yoy and you are going long. Holy shit, you need your brains examined.

Germany’s Merkel told people to shut the fuck up and quit dreaming about a quick fix to Europe’s problems. More specifically, if Greek debt holders take a “voluntary” 50% haircut, how much capital will they need to raise? Moreover, I hope you realize the only reason why it is termed “voluntary” is to prevent a credit event, via triggering CDS.

One amusing thing to note: PHG announced they are firing 4,500 people and a share buyback in the same statement. So, let me get this straight, they are firing people to save money, but will take savings to buy back shares?! I am seeing a lot of this tomfoolery.

Occupy Phillips.

I will be reducing my longs into strength.

As the tick infested vagrants at Zuccotti park prepare to freeze to death in NYC, “The Fly” is roasting marshmallows for fun, whilst tossing 8k’s and 10q’s into the fireplace.

Futures are up and no one gives a fuck about protesters. The managing elite have big plans, all to do with “saving Europe” from a comical, knee slapping, exit from the 1st world.

El Paso caught a bid from Kinder, which should lend to the bullish tone early going.

It’s too early to make predictions, especially since Europe has less than 1 week to save themselves. Having said that, I do not like the jacked upped yields in Italy. That needs to be addressed before I can get bullish again. Until then, I am weighted long, with hedges and 25% cash.

The people in Egypt wanted a change in government, just like the plebs in Tunisia and Libya. What are your goals? What is the end game? Meaning: what will it take to get you off my streets? Will the bankruptcy of Banc of America, Goldman and Citi quench your thirst? Or, are you interested in something greater? By saying “the banks are greedy and they should die” is immature and silly. Real men have demands. What are yours?

Thanks in advance.

I was just chitty-chatting on Twitter regarding the revered banks and how they should be handled. The dominating opinion is to kill any and all executives who made bad bets and replace “Wall Street talent” with unemployed welders. Sure, the French revolution made sense, until Napoleon seized power and went full retard on Europe, executing a “scorched earth” strategy for governing.

Many of you want to be rebellious because you loathe the people who fucked up this country. But I have news for you: this isn’t a new phenomenon. This country has been on the decline since the 1970’s and the bankers are not the only people responsible for our woes. How about the manufacturing plants in the rust belt? I can guarantee you the outsourcing of American jobs has hurt us more than TARP, via closing factories down in order to reduce expenses, yet American industrials are booking RECORD profits thanks to cheap Chinese labor. Moreover, the idea that these mammoth banks are going to go away in exchange for smaller/community banks is pure phantasm. They were allowed to get big by your government. You want to exact change? Arm the protesters and put them on a fucking train heading for DC.

Like it or not, the banks are NOT owned by the government and can pay their CEO’s whatever they want. If Citibank wants to pay their CEO 1 trillion dollars per year, they are entitled to do so. Do you want to know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE A FUCKING PRIVATE BUSINESS. If shareholders want to rebel, so be it. That’s how this system of capitalism works. The government doesn’t get a fucking say in how monies are to be allocated. They (the govt) are the worst allocators of capital and should mind their own peas when it comes to budgeting.

Look at the balance sheets of corporate America (RECORD CASH) and compare them to the government (RECORD DEBT).

What else can be said? Two weeks ago the “no brainer” trade was to be short, indefinitely. Now the genius trade is to buy into a 13% 6 day run. This is an unbelievable short squeeze for the ages. The shorts have been entirely wiped out inside of 1 week. The amount of damage to the shorts is absolutely staggering. I am fortunate to have kept and added to longs during this run, instead of doing what my emotions dictated, which was to sell short.

Both VXX and TZA are down 17% since I bought them, stymying my current gains. Had I allocated the VXX money long, I would probably be up 25% for the year–unfuckingbelievable.

What will the market do next week? Will we continue this batman run and further eviscerate the bears? Or, will the bears strike back with their homo-catapults and bring about the end of the European fraud, by way of Italian 10 yr bonds?

All of these questions and more will be answered soon.

NOTE: “Fat Fuck” Rick Ross nearly died today. Apparently he had some sort of hamburger seizure today on an airplane, like due to all of that cocaine he snorts off his iPhone. He had to be revived and carted off to the animal hospital. Good news: he’s been released and is back to selling dope, most likely from the luxury of his brand new iPhone 4gs.

Ignore my HSOL purchase. It was just a buy of 10,000 shares aka nothing at all. I am net long, with just 25% in cash. My largest position, by far, is WNR. Aside from OPEN, my other longs are performing admirably, especially GSVC. In my opinion, GSVC is worth much more, just based on their management team. It is a long term investment for me.

Nevertheless, I have hedges, with about 8% of assets in VXX. I have another 4% of assets short EXH and some TZA in my personal. Granted, none of these positions are profitable. But that’s the whole point of being hedged. You give up gains in exchange for stability. Should the market top, my fall will be less. At the same token, over the past few days, my upside has been muted. But then again, who gives a fuck, since I’m up 16.25% year to date, aka ALL TIME MOTHERFUCKING HIGHS.

I am in my comfort zone here. I am looking for a reason to sell. However, if the market keeps chugging higher, I have no reason to sell anything. With the dollar weak and treasuries getting debased, equities are in play. Long term, this run is unsustainable. However, I did tell you to be on guard for an 8% October rally, didn’t I? This has happened before, to a lesser degree; but it has happened.

I bought HSOL for a lottery gamble.

Zynga is going public. The ticker symbol will be ZNGA. If you can’t get the ipo, buy GSVC. I don’t understand why there isn’t more hype around GSVC, as it is the only way to indirectly invest in Zynga, Facebook, Twitter and Chegg, amongst others. It is the CMGI of this generation.

Retail sales came in well above expectations, sending futures through the roof. On this news, ahead of the weekend of European debt negotiations, we are off to the races. It doesn’t matter what I think or feel. The animal spirits of the market will take over and offer death blows to those leaning short.

Into strength, I will be unwinding my positions, slowly but surely. I will most likely keep all of my WNR, which represents 15% of my assets. 321 crack spreads are north of $34 and end user demand is robust. Apparently, the economy if off to the fucking races again. That shit we just experienced in August was a mere blip in the grande scheme of things, a liquidation party of sorts for Mr. John Paulson.

Global growth is back, much to my surprise. Today’s retail sales numbers were so surprising, it literally stopped me in the midst of punching someone’s mustache off. Truly groundbreaking stuff.