For me, there is nothing worse than having a gain, losing it, and then sitting with losses. Early on I was King of the Hill, #1 APEX predator of the market in search of meat, hungry to devour more. But by the end of the day, I had fucking T Rex’s on my tail trying to bite off my head. I closed DOWN 10bps for the session.
If you think about it, losing 0.1% for the day should not evoke an emotional response from a normal person. After all, plenty of people lost more. But some didn’t and some did a lot better and I cannot stand it. Some people ask me what drives me to want to always trade well and the answer is simple: to outstrip you. That’s right I am talking to YOU specifically, the fucking guy reading this now thinking he’s hot shit +25% YTD.
All I do is build systems and adjust them and try new systems and adjust them, in order to create ‘par excellence.’ The stated goal is to one day clone me and have the machines take over. Fly AI might one day be better than Fly himself. But until that day arrives, I am stuck with me.
I acquiesced to the fucked close and took out a small hedge, which is really a fucking throwaway. I only did it to satiate my desire to enact some sort of dark, craven, cosmic revenge on whoever the fuck was pulling levers in the tape today. If being honest, which I almost always am, I am super bullish, but feel betrayed by the bastards who tanked such a beautiful market based off such stupid reasons. These reasons are so absurd, I dare not repeat them aloud, for I might find myself morbidly enraged by it all over again.
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