MARKETS SCREAM HIGHER: I made 18bps

Motherfucker.

Everyone but me made back all of their losses from yesterday. But unlike everyone else, I had a net short position into the morning melt up and had to press longs into the final hours to extreme measures to make any money for the entire ribald session.

The NASDAQ cut off the dicks of the bears and I made back a rounding error of my losses from yesterday. I am, of course, hugely long into tomorrow and look forward to the gap down and collapse — placing me into an environ of pain — akin to having my face stuck in a plastic folding table as it collapses onto the floor.

These are my trials and tribulations and I expect to endure pain before I get to enjoy my life. As a matter of fact, now come to think of it, I haven’t enjoyed my life in quite some time and truly relegate my existence to toil and conflict.

THAT BEING SAID, I look forward to tomorrow’s fuckery and subsequent battles, where I intend to attend in full Teutonic Knight battle garments to sever the heads of all of my enemies.