iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,427 Blog Posts

MARKET CLOSES AT THE LOWS, AS DID I

It’s clear to me that I am under surveillance from powerful figures who take the other side of my trade in order to rack me with losses. I cannot clearly explain what happened to me today, completely raped from the opening tick forward. I was briefly teased with a small semblance of winship, only to quickly be discarded like a molded piece of cheese — shutting the fuck lower at -169bps for the session.

It was all so whimsical and also imbued with magic. I had this great big UVIX position after successfully trading out of SOXS and then out of nowhere, with the market going lower, IT COLLAPSED. I was forced out for a 1.8% loss and it bottomed there. So I got back into SOXS, which was leading due to the MU news. What happened next was so surreal, I was frozen with amazement. It GAPPED THE FUCK LOWER TOO, based off a small blip in the market, providing me with 3-5x the losses I would have endured if in LABD or SQQQ.

I’ve dipped to a level not seen since September.

What makes matters inexorably worse is that everything I said would happen did. I called for a big gay rally in the markets led by SMH and I failed to take my own advice — based off some notion that cogent thinking Fly is somewhat worse than “in the trenches” moron hopped up on 10 cups of double espressos and bacon snacks.

I’d like to predict this being my bottom, as it has been for a period of 6 months or so. But I can’t get a handle on this tape, long or short, and probably should just call it a year and fuck off until 2023.

But you know I can’t do that — because that would make sense. I’ll shoot out the gates again tomorrow with $200,000 triple lotus ETF guillotine trades again, scalping for 1% in a flaccid effort to make 30bps in a tape spawned from Satan himself. To be honest, I hope the whole fucking thing blows up already, taking me with it. I’ll get a job at Target and tell people to fuck themselves when they ask me for help. I’ve been torturing myself trading stocks since I was 10. I’m 46 now and I have no idea why I liked stocks at 10, coming from the sewers of Brooklyn, being chased around my apartment by mice and waterbugs, hiding under the covers because the waterbugs also had wings and would fly about the house.

NEVERTHELESS, I remain the clown and will head out there tomorrow and give it the old college effort.

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10 comments

  1. Mr. Cain Thaler

    “…hiding under the covers because the waterbugs also had wings and would fly about the house.”

    Oh my god I’m dying laughing.

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  2. macpatton

    Wait… I thought you said no one over 40 could be on this website

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    • tradercaddy

      I believe it is 47 and a half.
      Anyway, we call bugs with wings that fly around the house in Florida Palmetto bugs which are essentially big juicy roaches that fly. The guts pop and splatter when crushed.

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  3. asteroids

    You do it because you have a wife and kids. You’ll put up win anything to put food on the table. If you win, your kids will hate you. If you lose, your wife will find a boyfriend.

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  4. purdy

    Take the Pfizer. Snuggle under a warm blanket while reading the NYTs …the soothing tones of NPR in the background. Repent your sins …all will be forgiven. You will be happy.

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  5. 'merica

    Hold on a minute here… “give it the old college effort”? Is Fly a robot? Who says that?!?

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  6. Cricket

    Noise has a level of uncertainty. Extreme conditions lead to extreme uncertainties. Don’t beat yourself over it; what was previously extremely difficult, has become impossible lately. I would imagine that in the background the Algos have been going ape-shit crazy over the last few weeks.

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    • bob smith

      The “algos” are only as good as the people who program them and “them” are not that bright.

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