Worst Case Scenario Underway: It’s 100% Over

For real this time.

Last night we were all very wealthy men of distinguished qualities inside Stocklabs. I was chuckling at the bears based off the NFLX beat, hitting them with my cane, wearing my top hat a little to the side because I was cool. It was stylish to be in bed with Cathy Wood. I had some TARK and felt like a shark and all of my naysayers were besides themselves because I was as happy as a lark.

Then something ominous happened last night. No it wasn’t NATO winning the war, much much worse. Futures had been +150 and I had boasted to my wife about my well timed long positions and then the futures, much to my dismay, COLLAPSED. I fell asleep thinking the sandman would bring them back and everything would revert back to the way it was, happy and gay.

But it never came back and now markets are down 70 whole NASDAQS. I was forced to evacuate most of my positions and hedge the rest with TZA, all but locking in a loss of 70bps. As for my LARK, instead of laughing at my enemies with a mouth filled with delicacies, I instead sold it down in the sewers, off by 5% or so. Who’s counting anyway; it’s all rot.

It’s very hard to exhibit joy in this tape. Mother market is watching and will slap you in the face with her wooden ruler if you get out of hand. I will now crawl back in the trenches, in the mud, hoping to eek out a few meager trades for profit.