iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,419 Blog Posts

HOPE SPRINGS!

I was tepid the whole day, due to sheer cowardice thanks to the carnage of the market. Although tempted to behave like the fucking lunatics inside Stocklabs, I did my own thing — went long LABU near the lows and was buying WCLD when no one wanted it. Then LABU fucked lower and people in the comments section were on suicide watch. So when it rebounded and my losses lessened from -6% to -2.5%, I gleefully booked the loss.

This is where I sold.

MOTHERFUCKER.

I watched in horror as the fucker went up and to make matters worse, I had a position in TMF choking me and TZA sinking like the fucking Titanic in a field of hardened icedbergs. In a rush, I frantically allocated back into the market, sold TZA and TMF, and let the Gods throw me into the vortex. I ended up DOWN 45bps on a day when I should’ve had a cock extension surgery and been swinging my balls low into MLK day. Instead, I had to bear witness to all of the cocksuckers in the Pelican Room (my paying customers) do so well. FANCY PANTS abounds, as I sashayed into a middling session — closing out the week in true catamite style -0.5%.

On a brighter note, my Quant did well — because that has my non-emotional brain and not the one racked with fears.

NOTE: WE NOW OFFER FREE TRIALS AT Stocklabs. I WILL 100% REVOKE THIS AND YOU CANNOT FIND IT ON OUR NORMAL LANDING PAGE. FREE FOR 7 DAYS, CANCEL AT ANYTIME.

BTW: I closed 100% long, no hedges.

Ciao

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7 comments

  1. barbee

    WE NOT OFFER FREE TRIALS AT Stocklabs. I WILL 100% REVOKE THIS AND YOU CANNOT FIND IT ON OUR NORMAL LANDING PAGE. FREE FOR 7 DAYS, CANCEL AT ANYTIME.

    Wut? Please translate: : “We NOT offer free trials…”

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  2. bambam

    Outsourced marketing

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  3. roguewave

    Fidelity says countries and central banks should buy bitcoin while the price is low.

    Moodys says El Salvador’s credit rating will drop because it owns bitcoin.

    Someone’s got it wrong.

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  4. roguewave

    CNN wants restrictions on Joe Rogan.
    They don’t seem to understand that stories like that cause them to lose even more market share. Better double down CNN.

    Views per episode:

    Joe Rogan
    11.0 million

    CNN
    0.58 million

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    • Orson

      Is that a projection for the year 2022? Why would the report date be12/01/22 instead of 12/01/21?

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      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"