Trading Like an Extreme Gentleman of the First Order

Good day

I bring news of happy tidings and grandiose eloquent returns. I am presently up 2.5% and you’re interested in this — because my happiness and certitude is paramount in your lives, especially since I am the main character in the simulation and you live and breathe to perform menial tasks in this game called life. I am now 95% cash, long only TZA, and feeling rather smug about my position — as markets struggled to find any semblance of momentum.

Now that I am out and short, it’s perfectly fine for markets to collapse — mostly because it would benefit me. As you see, my own happiness and sense of accomplishment is what’s important here.

I am sure there are other things happening today, but none of these things happened to occur to me, as I’ve been rather entombed in my own dealings, quite pleased with myself, rather elated.