iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,688 Blog Posts

See Pal, This is the Type of Person that I am

I just got back from shopping. I had picked up my mother in law from the airport this morning and have been busy ever since. We also launched Stocklabs Alpha trials today, which means we’ll be moving to beta within the month. I know this sounds crazy, but demand from you grifters is too high. I get 50 new daily beta requests via my Twitter page alone and we now have 5,000 clamoring for access. I cannot accommodate much more — because for one the servers cannot take it and for two, it will delay our rollout.

I will be withdrawing beta trial offers soon, so this is your last call.

For the session, I was up more than 300bps, a magnificent day all around. For the month, my cock grew 3 inches.

Look pal, there’s a million people out there telling you to sign up for their fucking newsletters or to join their trading rooms because they’re gonna teach you how to trade. I will never teach you anything. “The Fly” is a MASTER FISHERMAN, who navigates the seven seas daily in search of food. As a member of Exodus and soon to be Stocklabs, all you have to do is sit there all day long gobbling down vats of custard while eating the fish I provide for you. Why trade inferiorously when you can simply latch onto a great white and eat the scraps that fall out of his mouth?

I’m a generous shark, might I add, and I regularly spit whole fish directly into the faces of my membership base.

I’m roasting a chicken now, so I need to stop blogging.

Drinking begins Monday morning.

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3 comments

  1. acehood

    Gin and tonics?

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