iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,626 Blog Posts

Addressing the COVID-19 Mental Fucking Illness

This rampant soaring infectious disease that has a kill rate of less than the chicken pox is the greatest social experiment of all time. To preface this article, I will disclose what I’ve been doing during the lock-down and social distancing.

Because I am a gentleman first and always, I don a SKULL FACED fucking mask — pirate fashioned, and I always behave with courtesy — because that’s what civilized humans do. Wearing the SKULL FUCKING MASK doesn’t provide me with any comfort, nor does it greatly disturb me. But it might disturb you. I find the whole mask hysteria to be somewhat hilarious — but a necessary evil whilst struggling to FLATTEN THE FUCKING CURVE. Plus, I truly and thoroughly despise the flu.

I exercise basic hygiene slightly elevated to conform with the times. I clean my hands more often than usual — UTILIZE HAND SANITIZER SPRAY to destroy the COVID viruses that attempt to enter my vessel. Also, because Mrs. Fly is a bit an extremist, we wipe down all groceries when they come in. To be honest, if it were just me, I’d say fuck it and do nothing. Then again, I am an Alpha plus and tend to err on the side of courage. But I have to address something I’ve seen throughout this ordeal, for the sake of posterity.

The mask has overtly become a symbol of conformity and has been politicized. People on the right think it’s 100% shit; but people on the left suck the masks dick. People on the right have no problem drinking beers and talking to each other like normal times — but the left is stuck in this hysteria and avoid contact — unless they’re rioting together to kill the police and overthrow the government — or seeking out gibs at Nordstrom.

I’ve bore witness to endless people donning masks inside their cars while driving and I felt like Stunt Man Miking into the them — but I have my kids in the car. I’ve also seen people walk into their homes with their masks on and often wonder if they fuck with them on too. I know parents who refuse to see their adult children because COVID and I know of many people who refuse to leave their homes.

This scourge we are dealing with has become a perversion of logic, with illiterates on both sides claiming to understand science they’ve never been trained for. Admittedly, I do not know what the fuck is happening and only take precautions for the sake of my children. I am, after all, a fatalist and see little purpose in going the extra mile to cede my manhood in exchange for a few extra years on this god forsaken shit-heap of an existence.

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10 comments

  1. roguewave

    All valid points!

    The gov of Minnesota decreed that all gov mules must wear masks on zoom calls, even when both parties are alone.
    The virus can kill. These governors are killing and should be indicted for their psyop crimes.

    ? Which kills more high school students?
    a) Covid
    b) Suicide

    Ding, ding, ding Suicide!!!

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  2. it is showtime

    Cdc wanted spread.
    The delay on testing from miscalculation or error was not believable.
    Spread needed for reasonable contagion/mask scenario

    Masks are part-legitimate, part Imaging-op, part Conditioning-op, part Herding-op
    Imaging “Trump’s America”
    Conditioning “Just comply, And it’s deadly”
    Herding “Vaccine you’ll want” “We can close schools again if you dont”

    No talk, Or stifled talk, of Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, which are very effective at boosting against, coronaviruses

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    • Po Pimp

      Don’t forget the bleach. The bleach will make it disappear like magic.

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  3. heckler

    Masks make sense and you can always cut a hole out to suck dick. Hand sanitizer and spray, and especially washing down you groceries is too much and remember I am a scientist

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  4. tmmdn0

    Jesus Fly, you fucking nailed it.

    The only problem is, I always want to send your shit to my friends, thinking they will understand and laugh with me.
    But it never works out.
    I just end up making enemies.

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  5. natehois

    I think it’s a lot of alarmism, however, that 1% chance I bring it home and get my newborn son sick isn’t worth the risk to me. Politicize it if you want, claim it has to do with some sort of “liberal pussy agenda” or what have you. If you’re identifying your manliness based on your political leaning, you’re already too far gone.

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  6. yossarian

    Well, welcome to the big time, chowderhead. Methinks you’re onto something. Finally. Don’t blow it.

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  7. moneybagz

    You’ve been had:

    “For 6% of the deaths, COVID-19 was the only cause mentioned. For deaths with conditions or causes in addition to COVID-19, on average, there were 2.6 additional conditions or causes per death.“

    https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm?fbclid=IwAR2-muRM3tB3uBdbTrmKwH1NdaBx6PpZo2kxotNwkUXlnbZXCwSRP2OmqsI

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  8. Raul3

    woke

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  9. soupbone

    It’s a fuck-up. We shouldn’t expect the elected ‘officials’ to make the right decisions about anything; we’ve seen responses too early, too late, too easy, too strict. Throw in some misinformation, some politeering and social unrest alongside. Greed and envy, FOMO, added in to the mix.

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