iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,559 Blog Posts

Trying to Stay Active in a COVID-19 World

Just prior to the global fucking meltdown, I had an excellent exercise regimen going. NO BOOZE, NO CARBS, NO FUN ever. I was a fucking machine, who just lifted heavy objects and ingested large doses of protein. I was at the gym until the very end — and then LOCKDOWN hit us and I’ve been loafing ever since. I tried working out at home — but it’s just not the same. Biking here is fucking untenable with the NC hills that are designed to torture people. I have never been a runner, ever since I got shin splints from playing KICK EACH OTHER IN THE SHINS AS HARD AS WE CAN game with my friends, as a moronic teenager.

So I’ve been relegated to long walks and I hate them because I am naturally athletic and enjoy sport.

I didn’t want to play golf — because golf is for old fat retards, so I joined tennis and have signed up for lessons.

I haven’t played tennis in 20 years and my skills we never honed. I am of course a NATURAL ATHLETE and can perform without lessons, but being in my mid 40s now, encroaching on the death years to the grave, I wanted to get it right, accomplish good form and truly “look good” while playing. There is nothing worse than someone playing who looks bad.

Since the courts are at 50% capacity and it’s one thousand degrees here, there is a small window from which to grab a court here, unless of course you pay for lessons. Then you can have a court whenever the hell you feel like it.

As my lessons continue, I will of course appraise you of my progress, so that you might live vicariously through a person, such as myself.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

24 comments

  1. one-eighty

    Can’t bike in the hills? Hah. Try biking in BC.

    Ditch the granny bike and splurge on a few gears. It makes a difference you know.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. soupbone

    Endurance like hiking and biking, maybe some swimming means no memberships and no need to find someone to play against. Tennis off a big brick wall works solo and duo, perfect for developing without the hassel.

    Why the fuck Beruit is rioting and destroying their city?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. ericbakerbruce

    “There is nothing worse than someone playing who looks bad”. Unless you are Dennis Rodman.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. heckler

    JESUS Fly you’re a pussy

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. Dr. Fly

    Fuck everyone on this thread

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. moosh

    Thanks for all of the posts LeFly! Tennis is rad. Never had them, but as a fellow NATURAL ATHLETE, I bet these lessons are infuriating you to no end? HGW ALL

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. tmmdn0

    ffs Fly, all the wall street greats of yore took pleasure in the gentlemen’s game of golf.
    Why the display of such animus?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • ericbakerbruce

      Probably because he’s noticed that you do not have to be an athlete to be a good golpher. You can be a mouth breathing fat fuck and still play scratch golf.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. moosh

    What would they have done without booze, mounds of coke, and quaaludes packed in their cart while wasting time chasing a little ball around that they maybe hit?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. richardweiner

    I seen on John Oliver that China has put a million wiggers in camps. Good for them. Nobody likes wiggers. Not even chinamen.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. tradercaddy

    A little advice from someone who plays 3-4 times a week (doubles with geezers).
    Play on Har-Tru (Clay Courts) if you can.
    You ain’t no spring chicken and your knees and hips will appreciate it.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. purdy

    Just continue toddling around to get your exercise old feller.

    And sport? …you’re a reb now, NASCAR is your sport.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. purdy

    Thank you to all who are still working. I am making more on unemployment than I did when working …and I don’t have the expense of a commute ..clothing, etc. So I now have a little extra to trade stocks. Gosh, it’s fun.

    Finally, I’d like to thank MSM for programming so many people into believing that my getting paid to not work is not an incentive to not work. LOL. If, just a few months ago, you would have told me that the media would even try this level of nonsense, I’d have said you were nuts.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • ericbakerbruce

      You sound proud to be a lazy sack of shit

      • 1
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • purdy

        No. Not proud. Just happy and enjoying. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are the greatest!

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. dawg

    Pickleball…. where it’s at

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • tradercaddy

      Yes. I play lots of pickleball.
      I play doubles and there is nothing more fun than smashing the ball at the opponent.
      I rove right behind the kitchen and poach like crazy. Of course the average age on the other side is like 70 years old.
      My wife says nobody will want to play with me if I am not nice.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. purdy

    BTW, Susan Rice will be Biden’s pick …as she has shown herself willing to sell the sending of American 19-year-olds to whatever slaughter the neocon tribe wants. Objectively, she has a consistent record of failure and lies. But her cervix and skin color will keep the MSM-programmed woke passively smiling while congratulating themselves for supporting the first black woman VP (..and president when Biden oatmeal-drools himself out of a job.)

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. asteroids

    Always be fit a trim. You want to be a good looking corpse.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. teslawasright

    What happened to the e- bike? Racquetballs are for gentlemen

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. ericbakerbruce

    Take up skeet shooting. It’s more physical than you’d think and every man should be proficient with a 12 gauge (to be able to protect the perimeter).

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. 'merica

    I recommend twelve ounce curls, daily, paired with at least 50 pushups to keep the man boobs at bay.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"