SWITCHED IT UP, TRYING TO AVOID BEING A MORON

I came back from vacation with the longest cock on the planet. On Monday I was gleefully laughing with a chest filled with hubris, overseeing my wins, which were as bountiful as they were plentiful. The results since then have been nothing short of ruinous.

I now find myself in the unfortunate position of a trading slump, booking loss after loss in what seems to be an endless cascade into the netherworld. I am of course peppered with the occasional 6% win, just enough to keep my confidence afloat. My certitude of intra day trading has halted and I’ve cleaned out most of those stocks in exchange for some larger cappped varietals. Immediately upon doing this, I was ENTREATED to a most unfortunate earnings fumble by the retards at SONOS. Apparently selling speakers to an arrested audience is too much for those cock grabbers to handle.

I also have several small caps that are in fact knifing lower in the after hours, placing yours truly in a reprehensible mood.

I shall now seek revenge and the saltiness of my demeanor should increase exponentially as I endeavor to achieve this. Markets are for fucking. You’re either doing the bidding or getting bid. I will proceed with caution tomorrow and attempt to regain a semblance of normalcy, especially since I closed the day 100% long.