Retail Investing is Back

You can tell the bears are having a bad day by just waking up. This has been the perfect storm for stocks set to trounce lower, yet here we are, incredulously. Say what you what about these “millennial faggots” (your words, not mine) — but they’ve rejuvenated investing for retail. Us GENX FAGGOTS were the ones who ruined it for everyone, with our HFT schemes and white shoe firm dick sucking.

Now that retail is back in the game, we have some god damned excitement here, not your ordinary 40 points per day Bernie Fuckoff market that bored everyone to sleep except Gen-Xers who made billions in their schemes.

Lo and behold, we have violence in the tape — stocks RIFLING the fuck higher post bankruptcy filing. Mergers spit upon and shares sent higher, irregardless (no a word via Websters). The nutcases who created the high frequency rackets are getting their dick cut off by Jimmy at Robinhood, trading on margin, leveraging out his account from $2k to $1.7m in an infinity leverage hack grown popular on Wall Street bets Reddit.

We’re in a different world now, a place where boomers are dying the fuck off, Gen Xers are the old beards, and millennial and ZOOMERS are recklessly trading this market akin to the dot come boom of 2000.

If you wanted to know what it was like, this is it.

I still have two hedges, the rest long, lots of cash. I’ll be adding to more positions by 3pm.