iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,452 Blog Posts

Futures Explode Higher; Bears to Be Castrated Straight Away

Dow futures are +200. People are CLAMOURING to get back into the swing of things — booking hotels and restaurant reservations at classy eateries — saloon and salon appointments — the works. Whatever fears people had last week are gone today and most Americans rather die inside of the Jacob Javitz center on a Tesla respirator than have to stay cooped up for yet another month.

I think I can speak for all Americans on Wall Street when I say “thank you Main Street for losing all of your little jobs.” You provided us with license to steal from the treasury and liquify markets to the point of lunacy. We will celebrate your unemployment straight away and pop champagne corks into each others faces over our 4 pound rib eyes, with greedy faces, during tomorrow’s session.

Eventually, Target will hire you or Amazon can assign you to become a CAGE MANAGER. Until then, sit back and enjoy your unemployment and feel good knowing your sacrifice helped all of us get richer.

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26 comments

  1. i_am_nemo

    Fly,

    Take a poll on whether this lockdown was bullshit.

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  2. roguewave

    Sweden never shut down.
    UK or France with full fucking economic / financial / employment /surveillance lockdown.

    Who had best Mortality % (fewer died)? Sweden

    The virus is real.

    Vote Here:
    financial lockdown = BS – Thumbs up
    financial lockdown = was good idea Thumbs down

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    • snoozemr

      not making much sense of your post but it woukd sweden cases and mortality rate should be compared to norway, finland, denmark.

      france, UK and U.S. all bungled the pandemic response, would seem you would want to compare mortality rate with perhaps Germany which did not. or south korea, taiwan, new zealand, australia.

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    • doubleplus

      So fucking tired of hearing this “argument.” You sound like my father-in-law, who is often portrays a Fox News-addicted idiot.

      Total cases/deaths as of right now:

      Norway: 8,105/219
      Denmark: 10,528/529
      Finland: 5,962/267

      Sweden: 26,322/3,225

      Math.

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      • roguewave

        Why don’t you use the % of the population?
        Why don’t you use deaths per 100,000?

        You can’t. It would disprove your point.

        Sweden had NO response. Individual people did what they felt was in their best interest. As it should be.

        The politbureau (central planners) always gets it wrong.

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        • narcist

          High average IQ of the population + competent government = winning (e.g., Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, SoKo, Taiwan)

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        • Po Pimp

          Swedes as a whole are a lot smarter than Americans (not saying a lot) and can be trusted to do the right thing. They aren’t gathering in mass with their big guns slung across their shoulders to prove how tough they are.

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    • rigged game

      It was bullshit. We had a chance to kill off 10 million
      Social-Security-sucking old farts; nursing home dregs,
      and inner city blacks. And we let the opportunity slip by.

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      • narcist

        Don’t give up hope so soon. Massa Trump still got plenty of time.

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      • cancel19

        That fucking Social Security that the old farts suck is from the fucking money they had forcibly taken out from their slave wages with the promise it would be given back when their wasted shell of a spent body gave out. Make a note of that asshole!

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  3. acehood

    *ribbed eyes

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  4. spaceman

    Listen to this episode of Hermitix: Coronavirus, Economics and Culture with Dmitry Orlov:
    https://hermitix.podiant.co/e/coronavirus-economics-and-culture-with-dmitry-orlov-385ed34e8169b6/

    “THE USA HAS DIED BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO PLUNDER.”

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  5. tjnyt

    Fly & all; get it into your heads, FED is the rainmaker, WS is the reservoir. If that reservoir is running empty economic and then real life around it will come to a halt.
    Stop hating and maligning the Fed, instead try some ingenuity to get a few drops from this reservoir.

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  6. narcist

    Since you top-ticked the YM with Gartmanesque precision, I closed my RTY short for a measly 5-point profit per profit and may consider a long entry–now that it’s 200+ points below the overnight high.

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  7. Po Pimp

    Oil just went fucking nuts.

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    • tradercaddy

      Saw that too.

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      • tradercaddy

        So did the “soft” stuff like coffee, soybeans, sugar, etc.
        Maybe dollar related.
        Kind of sucks.
        I was supposed to play tennis now but I will stick around awhile.

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        • narcist

          Nothing unusual in forexland right now. Euro stable, AUD and CAD down moderately.

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        • Po Pimp

          Saudi Arabia says it will cut production by 1 MMbpd in June.

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  8. narcist

    Went long a bit sub-2895.

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    • narcist

      Out completely at 2908 for another 16-point gain and calling it a day.

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  9. richardweiner

    Pussy rapists should get castrated.

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