BERNANKE TRIES TO ASSUAGE MARKETS, SAYS DECLINE MORE AKIN TO NATURAL DISASTER THAN TO GREAT DEPRESSION

Dr. Benjamin “Blunt Smoking” Bernanke is back and badder than ever. In an interview with CNBC, Dr. B laid down the law and told fuckers how it’s gonna be — categorizing the decline to a natural disaster than some depression of greatness. He then went into how shit was about to get real scary, but also how we’d bounce back strongly.

This is a very different animal than the Great Depression … this has some of the same feel, some of the feel of panic, some of the feel of volatility. But it’s much closer to a major snowstorm or a natural disaster than to a classic 1930s style depression,” says @benbernanke. pic.twitter.com/jL5KDMrM6y

— Squawk Box (@SquawkCNBC) March 25, 2020

There will be a “very sharp” recession in the next quarter or two, former Fed Chair Ben Bernanke says. “You’re going to see some really scary numbers.” https://t.co/nXMJosXKKD pic.twitter.com/TqbTDGGK7g

— CNBC (@CNBC) March 25, 2020

“Low interest rates are something we’re going to have to live with for a while.” Former Fed Chair Ben Bernanke says low rates are a “long-term trend.” https://t.co/QQNHMgPEok pic.twitter.com/hOxomuS5ro

— CNBC (@CNBC) March 25, 2020

Whether or not going to snap back depends on the course of the virus, and whether we can keep the economy healthy or at least functioning throughout this shutdown period, says @BenBernanke pic.twitter.com/qjzfTlu6dy

— Squawk Box (@SquawkCNBC) March 25, 2020

In other news, Ackman sold his ‘hedges’ that he said he DID NOT HAVE that amounted to $2b and deployed it long into Hilton, Starbucks, and other stocks. When he went on teevee last week to scare the shit out of people, and suggest Hilton and everything else would go to zero without a total lockdown of the country, he was pretty clear about being long. But apparently, NOT TRUE, and he took the $2b he made SHORT now to buy MOAR longs.

Futures recovered sharply after hearing Bernanke, from -100 NASDAQS to positive.

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