iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,422 Blog Posts

BERNANKE TRIES TO ASSUAGE MARKETS, SAYS DECLINE MORE AKIN TO NATURAL DISASTER THAN TO GREAT DEPRESSION

Dr. Benjamin “Blunt Smoking” Bernanke is back and badder than ever. In an interview with CNBC, Dr. B laid down the law and told fuckers how it’s gonna be — categorizing the decline to a natural disaster than some depression of greatness. He then went into how shit was about to get real scary, but also how we’d bounce back strongly.

In other news, Ackman sold his ‘hedges’ that he said he DID NOT HAVE that amounted to $2b and deployed it long into Hilton, Starbucks, and other stocks. When he went on teevee last week to scare the shit out of people, and suggest Hilton and everything else would go to zero without a total lockdown of the country, he was pretty clear about being long. But apparently, NOT TRUE, and he took the $2b he made SHORT now to buy MOAR longs.

Futures recovered sharply after hearing Bernanke, from -100 NASDAQS to positive.

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10 comments

  1. tha pirate

    All hail the bearded clam!

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  2. Orson

    Like anything is believable from quiver. The only thing this dickhead is good at is “paper mache’.

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  3. itsgold

    all clear. Time to go long!

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  4. tradercaddy

    I won’t believe anything until I hear from my main Fed guy Paul Volcker.

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  5. edge

    Seems to me that we have something close to pyramiding. But what do I know.

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  6. metalleg

    Ah, Ben “it’s contained” Bernanke.
    Yeah, we should trust what this idiot has to say.

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    • Po Pimp

      How dare you disparage this true American hero. All hail the clam!!!

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