iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

Markets Set to Rally On Death of ‘Austere Scholar’, Founder of ISIS — Avid Soccer Player

Gents (this is a men’s blog only),

I am delighted to give you news of a great tragedy. The austere scholar and founder of the group formerly know as ISIL, al-Baghdadi, was killed last night in an American raid. While the loss of this avid soccer fan and religious icon will be missed, markets seem to like it, as Nasdaq futures are +28. Because of this, and I speak only for myself here on iBankCoin, I am celebrating the death of this man tonight, over some gimlets.

While other nations are disgusted by our American brand of media, I am incredibly grateful for all of their efforts, as I do admit finding joy and laughter in the psychosis of others. “The Fly” is a gregarious chap and sees the bright side in all things, which is why I am so amiable. In the olden days here on iBC, I was a cantankerous meddlesome force, dark and evil, always banning persons from commenting on the site. Not today. iBC is a beacon for freedom and expression. If you wanted to praise the evil man Trump whilst declaring al-Baghdadi to be an awful individual, you can do so here without reprisal.

Good evening.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

4 comments

  1. heckler

    I’m celebrating with a little something I like to call “religion of peace” – 22oz tall dank IPA, two bubbler hits, and a cigarette ?

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. ferd

    Baghdadi should have beheaded his beard colorist.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. it is showtime

    Oooooooooooooooooh baby.
    Someone else thinks the market overseers will have trouble!

    Someone Just Made A Huge Bet The Market Crashes By April
    OCT 26, 2019 3:30 PM
    …a variety of political risks
    https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/someone-just-made-huge-bet-market-crashes-april

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. juice

    I let Trump slide on Russiagate and now on Ukrainegate, where the upstanding BIden & son are being smeared for upright business dealings, but this has put me over the edge: DRUMPF must go!

    How dare he take out such a pragmatic great religious scholar in wire-framed glasses, not to mention a soccer lover!

    I am no longer with the Donald! HEATHEN to the max!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"