Ladies and gentlemen, it was nice of you to participate in the latest saga of Trade Wars, winning the war against China because it’s fun and easy to do. This just out via CNBC. Expect a long dick’d rally to the upside first thing tomorrow morning.
China’s Ministry of Commerce said Thursday that the leaders of the U.S. and Chinese trade talks held a phone call in the morning and agreed to meet in early October for another round of negotiations.
The two sides agreed to hold another round of trade negotiations in Washington, D.C., towards the beginning of next month, and consultations will be made in mid-September in preparation for the meeting, the Commerce Ministry statement said, according to a CNBC translation of the Chinese-language text.
Previously, both sides had indicated they would meet in September.
It’s fucking over. They’re gonna meet; ergo, and this goes without saying — STOCKS ARE GOING TO SOAR.
Lucky for me, I stepped in late in the day with not 1, or 2, or 3, BUT 4 OVERNIGHT TRADES. This is who I am, and you’re nothing.
While it’s true, my personal life is anything but comfortable. I am driving inside of a loaner car from 2004 that smells like a fucking crayon box and it has egg shells in it. I suppose southerners peel off eggs while their driving and toss the refuse onto the rugs. I can only assume this to be true, since I’ve seen it with my own eyes. My house still has 500 unopened boxes and everything is strewn out in a chaotic manic mess that makes me feel like going outside in jogging pants and slippers. But I don’t. I refrain from such degeneracy because of who I am and what I represent, which is an ideal that is MOAR and something better than you. This is most aptly demonstrated by my divine stock picks — descended down from the heavens into your computer screens.
Dow futures are +300 and on this day of the good Lord 9/4/2020, “The Fly” is fully fucking invested without hedges, barreling into a chest filled with unmarked bank notes.If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter