GOLD IS FOR MEN

When I say “gold is for men” I mean in the most gender neutral way possible. I realize some of you women out there, those without dicks and testicles, fashion yourselves to be men too; and that’s cool, bro. You grow beards and walk around slapping women on their asses for sport. So this post applies to you too. Also, many of you dick’d men prefer to be women, prancing around in dresses — doing catwalks and shit in the ghetto. This post is also for you — because you’re a man too. Everyone is a man, ultimately — because man is God. That’s not to say women cannot be God. You can. But first, you must fashion yourselves to be a man.

With that now said, I can tell you without equivocation, gold is, in fact, the single best asset class in the market today. If you happen upon someone who says otherwise, punch him in the nose. Get a good hard shot at it and try to bend the bridge until you hear a snap. After it snaps, you’ve broken the bone and will soon get to enjoy a stream of blood flowing from his face and his eyes might swell. I do not recommend doing this to women who are now men — because the non gender fluid justice system will punish you severely and your neighbors will think you’re a monster. If you hit a dick’d man, make sure he isn’t in a dress and is clad in burly clothing, preferably flannel shirts.

I’m getting off track here. Markets are weak, but gold is strong. Gold has been strong for a long time now and it’s still very undervalued. Do yourselves a favor and get long — hold into the idiotic rate cuts, and harvest your crops when they’re good and ripe.