iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,528 Blog Posts

Markets Set to Crash Come Monday

It’s all over you losers. The market showed you it’s cock today and it’s very small. It’s a micro-penis and can do no fucking at all.

Come Monday, the easterly winds will howl and permanent bulls cleaved from the field, gray matter exposed and splattered, blood drained and the body weakened into a catatonic state. You will rue the day you didn’t follow Le Fly into the FAZ mobile.

I leave you now a confident man, long NUGT, FAZ, DRIP and TVIX. May the Gods smile upon me and shit on you. Your designs are repetitive and boring. Trust me, the Black Flag will be served on Monday, generously, and all of you will be crying energetically into your showers — cowering in fear as the storms of fire descend upon you.

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11 comments

  1. WrongView

    Showtime…is that you?

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  2. winner123

    The annual Fly gets crushed on TVIX trade …

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  3. gsofield

    Should’ve held my IWM puts. Hunker down and get long bitcoin as it will continue to outperform all other assets. I’m holding GBTC and BTC.

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  4. monkeybot

    TVIX has proven to be a very unreliable and awful vehicle multiple times for me. Even last Monday – the VIX was up 28%+ and you’d think – aw yeah the 3x gets me 75%+! But it doesn’t work that way. In fact the 3x TVIX was not up even as much as the VIX (25%). Nice move but still didn’t get me back to even from my earlier foible. Realize it’s meant for short-term trade – like Flys likely winning bet for Monday – but can’t figure out the TVIX contango witches brew multiplier…there’s got to be a better way…

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  5. moosh

    Hopefully by high noon on Monday, this sound track will be followed up with some gravediggaz. Fly, if you haven’t checked out the newest Anthony jesilneck comedy special yet, you should.

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  6. winningmatters
    winningmatters

    I’ve stumbled upon this daily blog today and have laughed my fucking ass off. Bravo – instant fan.

    Don’t let that limp dick close give you a woody- Trump is already logging into to twitter to jam the markets higher.

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  7. omfgitsjd

    Some people are highly effective at tweeting the market good. Who cares about interest rates, liquidity, brexit, trade wars, and excessive margin.

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