iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,445 Blog Posts

Israel Attempts to Send Spacecraft to Moon — Fucking Crashes and Explodes Into Moon Dust

Back in 1969, a team of really creative Americans ventured off on a LIVE broadcast traveling to the fucking moon — armed with a calculator and tinned foil. It has been 47 years since we strolled on the moon, opting to waste our money on other things — such as sex changes for prisoners and useless aircraft carriers to extend the dicks of all Americans across the globe.

Enter 2019 — armed with all of the finest technology they could steal from America — Israel attempted to send a spacecraft to the moon and got BTFO.

A small spacecraft that has captured the imagination and excitement of people in Israel and around the world appears to have crashed into the moon on Thursday.

“We had a failure in the spacecraft,” Opher Doron, the general manager of Israel Aerospace Industries’ space division, which collaborated on building the spacecraft, said afterward. “We unfortunately have not managed to land successfully.”

The mood at the command center was somber but still celebratory.

“Well we didn’t make it, but we definitely tried,” said Morris Kahn, an Israeli telecommunications entrepreneur and president of SpaceIL, the nonprofit that undertook the mission. “And I think the achievement of getting to where we got is really tremendous. I think we can be proud.”

MoonFAGS will say this was a success. Others might say it was a fiction. One thing is for certain, no one has ever set foot on the moon, aside from us incredible Americans and no one seems to know how to get back there. It’s a damned shame all of the telemetry data from 1969 was destroyed, otherwise we might have something to really look at and enjoy… all of those wonderful moon rocks brought back from there — made from fucking brass.

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17 comments

  1. heckler

    You’re fucking too much Fly. I suppose you say they just faked that black hole picture too? Okay that pic sucks but the moon shit is real Buzz Aldrin will punch your lights out.

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    • Dr. Fly

      What black hole? I didn’t see any black hole from FIFTY FIVE MILLION FUCKING LIGHTYEARS away.

      Imagine being in a space capsule that traveled the speed of fucking light. Now imaging said capsule took 55 million years to get there. If you believe that — you’re a god damed idiot. I’d fire you if you were my employee.

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      • numbersgame

        Your grasp of astro-physics begs to be updated, Fly. However…

        It wasn’t a “picture” – it was a computer generated visualization, using artifically colored black and red because that’s waht we imagine a black hole would look like. As with any visualization, the image is useless without an accompanying scale that shows exactly what those colors represent. What’s more, just like MOST space projects, the cost far exceeeds the benefits to humanity.

        Some people wil lsay that te sapce program has generated all kinds of useful tech like LCD screens. However, almost all of this tech was generated FOR the space programs, not BY the space programs. Tell me about the tech that REQUIRED going to space to develop it?

        Same thing goes for the DoD.

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        • numbersgame

          To be clear, the visualization was generated from real data, so I’m not saying it was “faked”

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  2. jbandy

    Lol this is great “Enter 2019 — armed with all of the finest technology they could steal from America — Israel attempted to send a spacecraft to the moon and got BTFO.”

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  3. fxtradepro

    My direct tv signal goes out in a thunderstorm but we’re taking phots of shit 55 million light years away? 1 LY = 6 trillion miles X 55 million….it’s an absurd thought.

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    • Dr. Fly

      We could not broadcast live from the Iraq war — but in 1969 we broadcasted LIVE from the fucking moon.

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      • irma vep

        Well, It’s not fake news but even our military wants us to only see the carnage of these civil wars in which we participate. People whould be horrified; or worse become apathetic drones. PPl of U.S. America are so beaten down by electing a President that tells us we are not great; we have to become great again! The ppl who do not become apathetic will start a movement that would demand tax dollars be allocated away from Defense Contractors and the DOD budget. Frankly, Canada is in the best position to move on our northern boarder and take advantage if we are stupid enough to start a war with Mexico.

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        • irma vep

          Or perhaps if we start our own civil war.

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          • irma vep

            Or even a border war with Mexico.

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          • irma vep

            Sorry it’s 4am ESDT and I’m still asleep. First sentence should read: It’s not fake news but even our military does not want us to see the carnage of these civil wars in which we participate.

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      • numbersgame

        For starters, the 1969 image was sent in real-time, but because of the distance, people saw the moon landing with a significant time-delay. So it was broadcast live, but was not seen in real-time.

        The US could have EASILY broadcast the whole Iraw war live as well, but ITS A F***ING WAR, where people die and are maimed for live, not entertainment. Also, there were networks that did broadcast evnts live, such as the toppling of Saddam’s statuue i in Baghdad.

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        • mx2101

          numbersgame- re: 1969 moon delay You might be thinking of deep space communications, or perhaps there was delay on Earth for programming or technical reasons.

          Earth to moon radio wave propagation time is just over one second (each way).

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      • bronze28

        HEY FLY,

        have you seen Elvis recently??

        Your notes denote a guy bitten by the conspiracy bug;

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  4. s.k.

    I imagine you writing this post from a worn cloth recliner; cane resting gently against it.

    Good rant, gramps.

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  5. chuckem

    huzzah!

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  6. bronze28

    FLY , if you re-call, I called LYFT crap and will go under IPO.

    looking at action today AND at chart, it put in a bottom today looks like.

    CHECK IT OUT.

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