Happy Blackened Friday — You Were REKT

Good afternoon lads. I report to you in a highly hungover demeanor. I drank copious amounts of gin last night and even skipped dinner. After cooking all day long, greeting guests, and scrambling to serve everything warm and fresh, I became disgusted by the food and instead chose a liquid Thanksgiving. Using my homemade grenadine, I drank some Jack Rose cocktails, then switched to East Sides, a few Dirty Martinis, 20th Centuries, and to top off the night — I imbibed myself with lots of Mojitos. When I ran out of limes, I switched to lemon and it went down just fine — mostly because everyone was too drunk to notice the difference.

When I woke up, around 12pm, I looked at the markets and didn’t give a shit. I saw them diving and my TMF position was doing good, TNA a little bad — but my Quant was unchanged, which makes me better than you and you know it. It must be an amazing experience for you to read this here blog, knowing full well that the author is a man of distinguishable qualities, circumstance, and grace.

For those out in the malls today, pondering over what to get family members for Xmas this year, might I interest you in two wonderfully written books by yours truly? After reading them, you would’ve expanded your vocabulary and gone thru the emotional tumult of stock market ebullience and horror.

I suspect markets will dive lower on Monday and you’ll be panicked to the point of irrationality soon. Margin calls are piling up and the average investor is getting rinsed. Don’t get rinsed — read Le Fly and learn about his space alien magician ways. I’ve navigated this tape better than most, not by my stock picks, which admittedly have been pedestrian, but by my position sizing and proclivity to raise cash and cut losses quickly. There’s a reason why I’ve been able to last in this market for so long, both personally and professionally. Live to fight another day should always be the central focus of any trader. If you’re attempting to make 100% off this decline, hoping to catch the upside, you’re probably gonna fail and wipe yourselves out clean.

Off to drink a pot of coffee.