China Shoots Down Any Implication of Productive Trade Talks

In case you thought the US-Chinese trade talks were going swimmingly, think again fucked face. The Ministry spokesman just came out and denied the rumors that China would acquiesce to Trump and reduce its trade deficit by $200b.

Source: CNBC

China has not offered to cut its trade surplus with the U.S. by $200 billion, contrary to reports, China’s Foreign Ministry said Friday.

Ministry spokesman Lu Kang said that the claims were not true while speaking at a daily news briefing about the ongoing trade talks between the world’s two largest economies, according to Reuters.

“This rumor is not true. This I can confirm to you,” the spokesman told the press. “As I understand, the relevant consultations are ongoing and they are constructive,” he adding, without going into further detail.

Various news outlets, citing anonymous sources, reported Thursday that China offered to meet President Donald Trump’s demand of the trade surplus cut, which included increased purchases of American goods.

As a result, futures have gone lower — almost 33 Nasdaq removed from the national treasury.

Gold is down, copper is down, God damn it even oil is down. The dollar, however, is up — due to flight to safety. It’s starting to look like a do-nothing Friday is in the cards.

To be honest, the market feels like it wants to go away because it’s May. Then again, every time I get the idea to short stocks I get my cock chopped off. Maybe micro-analyzing each and every tick is overtly unhealthy for the human spirit. Perhaps we should eat more sandwiches, laugh more at weak people, and drink more protein shakes.

Happy Friday, fucked faces.