THE ERA OF THE SHORT HAS BEGUN (PLAYS DUNKIRK SOUNDTRACK)

The only reason why I am not unwinding my SQQQ and DRV positions is to retain license to claim to be apart of The Era of the Short — led by Orcs from middle earth. In a just world, all of this will end, under a barrage of North Korean ICBMs — errantly and comically, striking cities indiscriminately.

Stocks have McPlunged by 400 and Americans are racing towards their local McDonald’s to find solace in a large Coca-Cola beverage and Big Mac cheeseburger with fries.

LISTEN TO ME NOW: “The Fly” is immune to the pangs of market misery. Look, I can prove it.

Now that we’ve established my genetic superiority over you, I want you to now lament over your portfolios and how they pale in comparison to mine, whilst listening to the lovely and haunting melodies of the Dunkirk soundtrack below.

You may stop listening to it, after your surrender.