Gartman’s Bold Call for Crude in 2016: BORING!

As sure as I am sitting here, crude oil is going to do the exact opposite of what Mr. Gartman predicted this evening.

All of the cool VC guys are long the Bitcoin. From Frederick Wilson to The Vinklevoss (sp?) Twins, it’s all the rage in unicorn town.

Since the epic rise and fall of BTC, the price has stabilized and has rebounded sharply in recent months.

“Mike Tyson Bitcoin” is the most secure kind of Bitcoin app. The user keeps the keys to Bitcoin wallets, so you’re 100% in control of your money. Plus, its software is open source, which means that code flaws can be spotted and fixed in public.

But that isn’t saying much. The value of a bitcoin fluctuates wildly. Almost no business out there actually accepts it as cash. And if you lose the keys to your Bitcoin wallet, you can kiss your computerized money goodbye.

Still feeling confident? The app’s fine print warns, “We cannot guarantee that there will be no bugs in the software.”
How reassuring.

That’s the thing about Bitcoin. While this digital cash shows that there can indeed exist an Internet-based money system without government control, its independence also makes it relatively unreliable. The FDIC insures the money in the bank. There’s no such safeguard here.

Tyson’s sponsorship of this app also shows that Bitcoin isn’t taking off as a serious consumer product — even as banks start to recognize the potential of Bitcoin software.

Bitcoins are completely worthless, digitized, pyramid schemes, marketed to the masses of anarchistic “V for Vendetta” wannabees, who display their boldness and displeasure with capitalism through this, sordid, thing.

The Mike Tyson Bitcoin app is sure to knock you out.

I know you were rooting for the 3 o’clock rally, desperately trying to salvage the first trading session of 2016. But you only played yourself, made yourself look like an orangutan with a banana in his ear.

The fucking Chinese market fell 7% in 7 minutes last night. Communist officials are “disappearing” people on a daily basis. Commodities are in the pits of hell. And there is approximately $300 billion in oil and gas debt that can go bad.

And you want to buy stocks because…?

Someone needs to tell you this; it might as well be me, HORATIO CLAWHAMMER.

Stocks aren’t done hammering lower. Get in their way, and it’ll be your face that gets the hammering. Your best bet, for the time being, is TLT. Go chill in some treasuries, collect monthly dividends, and watch some Netflix, as that stock careens lower.

Two thousand and sixteen will be the year when FANG (Facebook, Amazon, Netflix, Google) gets poleaxed.

“We will trade the ranges, without emotions, and avoid outsized positions in lunatic industries.”

Go write that 100 times, or until you start to believe it.

Is there any hope for Apple? Last I heard, Tim Cook was planning on building an Apple car. So you mean to tell me that delving into the automobile business, instead of the no-brainer television business, is the preferable course of action for the company?

I don’t blame Tim. Who can? He just isn’t Steve. Steve’s come about the market once a generation. There is nothing Tim can do other than manage the company and try not to blow it up.

Thus far, he’s done an ok job.

The problem with Apple, with regard to the market, is two fold.

The laws of large numbers are kicking in and the companies market cap is gigantic. Any measurable decline is going to wreak havoc on the broader indices.

Maybe Apple should build a space ship and send Tim to the moon? Or, maybe Apple should just make the fucking teevee already and tackle the electric car down the road.

The founding fathers had no idea, whatsoever, how stupid the people in Chicago would become. As such, President Barrack Obama is fixing, alongside his trusty AG, to take executive action to take your guns away.

At the top of the list is an effort to expand background checks on gun sales by forcing more sellers to register as federally licensed gun dealers. The changes would be aimed at some unregistered sellers who skirt the background check laws by selling at gun shows, online or informal settings. Other moves being considered include improving reporting of lost and stolen weapons and beefing up inspections of licensed dealers, according to a person familiar with the plans.

Ted Cruz had this to say about the rumored 2nd ammendment assault:

“Pres. Obama, you may have a phone and a pen. Well if you live by the pen, you die by the pen and my pen has an eraser”

Christie called Obama a ‘petulant child’, just prior to eating an entire box of devil dogs. And Trump said a whole bunch of stuff. I am sure you can figure it out.

Skeptics say there isn’t much Obama can do, other than limit the scope of gun shows and force more people to get licenses. We shall see.

Shares of SWHC and RGR are sharply higher today.

What is this a fucking joke? They trot this crazy eyed woman out there when everything is falling apart to tell us China is not a concern and how our growth is so good, so robust, why, if left only to her, she’d have rates exploding to the upside in no time at all.

“I am not that concerned about that in terms of the U.S. economy,” Mester said in an interview with Bloomberg television.

How very nice.

“We’ve built in a weakening path for China. I don’t see that as a significant risk to the forecast” for the U.S. economy, she sai

Don’t worry, Loretta Mester built it all in. Oh, as for U.S. GDP growth, she has some estimates for us.

“I’m pretty comfortable with the median path … I think that’s not a bad description,” Mester, who votes on U.S. monetary policy this year under a rotation, said on the sidelines of an American Economic Association meeting.

“I’m probably a little steeper than that in the near term, just because I have a higher growth forecast.”

Mester expects the U.S. economy to grow at a 2.5 percent to 2.75 percent pace this year, slightly stronger than the 2.4-percent rate median forecast of her colleagues. That optimism allows her to view more than four rate hikes as appropriate, she said.

We are so lucky to have policy heads like her, watching over our coffins as they get tossed into shallow graves.

With all of these prices going lower, I’d love to see some of the supporting arguments from the Fed to raise rates another 4-5 times this year.

Atop of everything else, grains are hitting 9 year lows and these poor bastards are hoping that a flood, mind you, will help alleviate the hell they find themselves in.

The Bloomberg Grains Subindex fell as much as 2.1 percent to 38.77, the lowest since Sept. 15, 2006. Beneficial rain boosted prospects for crops in Brazil, and Argentina exporters are increasing shipments, partly after the government relaxed tariffs. World equities had the biggest drop to start to a year in at least three decades, led by a rout in China.

“It’s just a culmination of everything,” Don Roose, president of U.S. Commodities in West Des Moines, Iowa, said in a telephone interview.

Remember the great boom in potash and fertilizer stocks? Well that’s dead. POT, MOS, and IPI are down anywhere from 35-80% over the past two years.

I am waiting for locust swarms to swoop in and decimate my neighbors gardens.

Stocks are having their clocks thoroughly cleaned for them today, off by 450.

There are a few lads running about the prairies who feel this sell off is overdone. But there aren’t too many of them.

“A lot of it has to do with China and a lot of it is overdone,” said Art Hogan, chief market strategist at Wunderlich Securities.
“The China PMI hasn’t changed much. It’s not unusual to have an outsized reaction when you’ve got a base case that 2016 could be a tough year.”

“I think it’s very much global markets are in a risk-off mode. It’s very hard to step in the way of (that),” he said.

Things were a lot easier back in 1932. The economy was affirmed to be mired in a bit of a slump, unlike this ambiguous smoke and mirrors crap. There weren’t any hipsters. And CNBC wasn’t invented yet.

Ah, the good olde days of 1932.

How many times do we have to see this show? Gold is a piece of offal 361 days per annum. For that one really bad trading week, sans the Friday when people come to their senses and sell gold again, gold goes on a nice run.

During these 4 trading days of greatness, the gold bugs crawl out from their caves to declare martial law on equity markets. They order all women and children out of the markets and attempt to kill all men of military age.

As they chase these windmills, gold sets up to dump out again and again and again.

With the Dow off by 400, amidst panic and cataclysm, gold stocks are soaring.

BORING.

Everything is lower, but crude stocks. Go figure. We live in bizaaro land. But there are some interesting developments, as well as oil grabs, taking placed in Libya.

Four Islamic State militants and two petroleum guards were killed in the ongoing armed confrontations near Es Sider, al-Hasy said by phone. An oil storage tank was hit by a shell and caught fire, he said. The storage tank is close to the oil port of Ras Lanuf, Mohamed Elharari, spokesman of the state-run National Oil Corp., said by phone

“An oil storage tank caught fire and there was a big explosion,” Elharari said.

Islamic State militants previously tried to attack Es Sider in October, killing one guard, but were repelled at the gate of the terminal by the petroleum guards. Es Sider and Ras Lanuf terminals have been closed to oil exports since force majeure was declared in December 2014 when armed groups attacked the ports. Force majeure is a legal status protecting a party from liability if it can’t fulfill a contract for reasons beyond its control.

Libya, with Africa’s largest oil reserves, pumped about 1.6 million barrels a day of crude before the 2011 rebellion that ended Muammar Qaddafi’s 42-year rule. It’s now the smallest producer in the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, producing 370,000 barrels a day in December, data compiled by Bloomberg show.

In response to ISIS fuckery, western nations, led by Britain, are deploying up to 6,000 soldiers to seize Libya’s top oil fields. No, that was not a typo.

SAS troops are understood to be preparing for an offensive involving 1,000 British soldiers to wrest back control of a dozen oil fields seized by the jihadists.

ISIS has taken advantage of the lawlessness since the 2011 ouster of Colonel Gaddafi to make large gains along the coastline, setting up its power base in the former dictator’s hometown of Sirte.

Mirroring its strategy in Iraq and Syria, the terror group has seized a number of revenue-boosting oil fields and are now targeting the Marsa al Brega refinery, the biggest in North Africa.

SAS troops are understood to be planning an offensive involving 1,000 British troops to seize back control of oil fields captured by the Islamic State in Libya after the country descended into chaos.

The operation will involve around 6,000 U.S. and European soldiers led by Italian forces, the SAS and military close observation experts from the Special Reconnaissance Regiment.
British experts will advise Libyan military commanders on so-called ‘battle-space management’ – tactics and skills needed to control the battlefield.

Don’t fuck with Rome’s oil.

This is the worst start to a New Year since 2001.