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No Deal in Doha

Thus far, the 18 nations attending the Doha meetings have managed to scarf down lots of harissa and kunafa; but very little progress has been made in the field of making a deal for proposed oil production levels.

It’s worth noting, Iran hasn’t bothered to partake in these meetings, for they are too busy drilling for oil–attempting to steal Saudi market share.

Ministers started talks after 1230 GMT and were still debating the draft more than two hours later.
The prospects of a comprehensive deal, which would be the first between OPEC and non-OPEC countries in 15 years, looked slim.

“I am not sure you can call it a freeze,” one OPEC source said.
A senior oil industry source said: “The problem now is to come up with something that excludes Iran, makes the Saudis happy and doesn’t upset Russia.”

Failure to reach a global deal would signal the resumption of a battle for market share between key producers and likely halt a recent recovery in prices.

“If there is no deal today, it will be more than just Iran that Saudi Arabia will be targeting. If there is no freeze, that would directly affect North American production going forward, perhaps something Saudis might like to see,” said Natixis oil analyst Abhishek Deshpande.

The good folks from OPEC have been deal-less (extra Trump) for about 10 hours now. The clock is ticking and crude futures will open in about 5 hours.

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The House of Saud Threatens to Sell $750 Bill Worth of Treasuries if Blamed for 9/11

This is called extortion, in the criminal world. Naturally, the Obama administration is lobbying congress to stop a bill that would implicate the Saudi government in being complicit in the 9/11 attacks. It would pave the way to allow the families of the victims to sue the Sauds. This is an inconvenience the Kingdom would like to avoid.

As such, reported by the NY times, they sent a hatchet man to Washington to inform them that if this were to occur, they’d scorch the fucking earth we walk upon, sell off American assets ad hoc, and release a firestorm of financial pain upon us never scene before in the history of man.

Adel al-Jubeir, the Saudi foreign minister, delivered the kingdom’s message personally last month during a trip to Washington, telling lawmakers that Saudi Arabia would be forced to sell up to $750 billion in treasury securities and other assets in the United States before they could be in danger of being frozen by American courts.

Several outside economists are skeptical that the Saudis will follow through, saying that such a sell-off would be difficult to execute and would end up crippling the kingdom’s economy. But the threat is another sign of the escalating tensions between Saudi Arabia and the United States.

The administration, which argues that the legislation would put Americans at legal risk overseas, has been lobbying so intently against the bill that some lawmakers and families of Sept. 11 victims are infuriated. In their view, the Obama administration has consistently sided with the kingdom and has thwarted their efforts to learn what they believe to be the truth about the role some Saudi officials played in the terrorist plot.

“It’s stunning to think that our government would back the Saudis over its own citizens,” said Mindy Kleinberg, whose husband died in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and who is part of a group of victims’ family members pushing for the legislation.

President Obama will arrive in Riyadh on Wednesday for meetings with King Salman and other Saudi officials. It is unclear whether the dispute over the Sept. 11 legislation will be on the agenda for the talks.

A spokesman for the Saudi Embassy did not respond to a message seeking comment.

Saudi officials have long denied that the kingdom had any role in the Sept. 11 plot, and the 9/11 Commission found “no evidence that the Saudi government as an institution or senior Saudi officials individually funded the organization.” But critics have noted that the commission’s narrow wording left open the possibility that less senior officials or parts of the Saudi government could have played a role.

Suspicions have lingered, partly because of the conclusions of a 2002 congressional inquiry into the attacks that cited some evidence that Saudi officials living in the United States at the time had a hand in the plot.

Those conclusions, contained in 28 pages of the report, still have not been released publicly.

The dispute comes as bipartisan criticism is growing in Congress about Washington’s alliance with Saudi Arabia, for decades a crucial American ally in the Middle East and half of a partnership that once received little scrutiny from lawmakers. Last week, two senators introduced a resolution that would put restrictions on American arms sales to Saudi Arabia, which have expanded during the Obama administration.

Families of the Sept. 11 victims have used the courts to try to hold members of the Saudi royal family, Saudi banks and charities liable because of what the plaintiffs charged was Saudi financial support for terrorism. These efforts have largely been stymied, in part because of a 1976 law that gives foreign nations some immunity from lawsuits in American courts.

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Saturday Cinema with Le Fly: Payback

This didn’t win any oscars or accolades from the catamite Hollywood crowd. This is just batshit crazy Mel Gibson and his hell bent mission for revenge and the $70,000 that is rightfully owed to him.

After all, he stole it fair and square.

This is the pinnacle of revenge action movies. Behold the glory of peak Gibson.

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Very $SUNE It Will Be Over; Sun Edison to File for Bankruptcy Protection by Sunday

When your business is predicated on accessing the debt markets to scam your way towards cash flow, you’re bound to fail. Such is the case with SUNE. The fall from grace is complete, taking famous hedge fund managers with it, such as David Einhorn.

The company said it needed about $310 million to stay in business, estimating a cash shortfall of $260 million by mid-June. SunEdison said it expected to secure the financing by pledging assets.
In the filing, the company said challenges to its business started developing in the middle of last year, when it pursued acquiring Vivint Solar Inc and it worked on an initial public offering for TerraForm Global, a so-called “yieldco” company it created to hold renewable energy assets.

The company has $12 billion in debt and might pose a problem for a few creditors in the near term.

The aftermath of the great energy collapse of 2015 is born. The ramifications will be grim.

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World Oil Markets Hinge on This: ‘We’ll Freeze if You Freeze’

Prince Mohammed, the 30 year old in charge of the fucking world, discussed his Kingdom’s position on the current state of oil markets.

“If all major producers don’t freeze production, we will not freeze production,” said Prince Mohammed, 30, who has emerged as Saudi Arabia’s leading economic force. “If we don’t freeze, then we will sell at any opportunity we get.”

 

Fifteen countries are involved in the Doha negotiations, where the great satans will discuss ways to transfer dollars from west to east. The one wrench in the wheel is Iran. Post Obama friendship, they’re permitted to sell crude on the world markets and they’re doing so with a vengeance of 10,000 Monte Cristos.

Iran has boosted oil production by 600,000 barrels per day this month and have zero regard for Prince Mohammed and his stupid oil freeze scheme.

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Markets Jog On Into the Close; Happy Weekend

It was a slow spring Friday and markets were a snoozefest. But, don’t look now, as the meetings in Doha loom, men who now live in oil barrels because they’ve lost all of their money in the great oil bust of 2015, are facing a rather perilous circumstance.

None of the OPEC members really want to cut production. They’re like the aliens from Mars Attacks. As soon as the other guy turns around, they’ll drill like fucking mad–flooding the market with the sweetest crude available.

As you can tell, I am somewhat of a cynic regarding these meetings.

As for me, I take it some of you took the opportunity to see inside Exodus for the afternoon, perhaps view our live demo. I am, inexorably, short XLE–with all of my lifeforce–currently and presently 125% invested, of which 100% is in XLE short.

Have a great weekend. Don’t crash your ridiculous cars into steel structures.

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Open Thread: If the Market is So Great, Why Does the Ark Float?

My bias is abundantly clear. We are enduring a Frankenstein economy, one that is propped up through half measures and central bank over planning schemes. When the barrage ends, the facade will collapse and the market with it.

Hence, the accumulation of treasuries by a very wealthy and smart class of investor continues, almost unabated, in spite of the relentless bull market rally over the past 7 weeks.

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Your thoughts? Dare I say, this has something to do with it?
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NOTE: We are doing a live demo presentation for Exodus this afternoon at 1pm, on the ibc YouTube channel. Temporary access to the Exodus platform will be granted here. Stay tuned.

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$ESV Slaps Investors in the Face with 50 Million Share Offering, Then Kicks Them in the Nuts With a 7 Million Share Add On

This is egregious. The company announced a monstrous 50 mill share offering after the close last night, only to up the offering by 7 million shares this morning.

Oh, they also priced it DEEP into the hole.

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Ensco management doesn’t give a shit about their shareholders. In my opinion, the risk of looming dilution of this magnitude is pervasive in the cash strapped oil sector. It is because of this specter that I deem the industry, at the present time, uninvestable.

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Germany Prosecutes Comedian at the Request of Turkey Over Satirical Poem

The fuck out of here. Germany and the entirety of the European Union is one giant fascist state. The Turkish President, Erdogan aka ISIS facilitator, made a request to the German government to prosecute one of their comedians who published a satirical poem about the fuckheaded Turkish President AND MERKEL GRANTED HIS REQUEST!

Can you believe this? This is the world we live in now. Maybe Edrogan will make a request to Obama to prosecute me for calling him a fuckhead now.

Merkel, the fascist slob, said: “We’re allowing this because we are confident of the strong justice system in our state.”

What wonderful doublespeak. Why not prosecute everyone for making negative remarks about foreign leaders, make them incur onerous legal fees and potential jail time, all for the sake of showing confidence in the fucking legal system?! It’s not like fear of prosecution will scare others into restricting their right to free speech, right Merkel?

Erdogan himself also filed a complaint with German prosecutors seeking legal action. Turkey’s Deputy Prime Minister Numan Kurtulmus on Monday said the German comedian had committed a “heavy crime against humanity” by insulting the Turkish head of state. “No one has the right to insult” Erdogan, Kurtulmus told reporters.

This piece of human offal said the poem was a ‘heavy crime against humanity’ and that ‘no one has the right to insult’ his holiness. This is rich, very rich indeed, coming from a man who arms ISIS and funds ISIS, and facilities safe passage of new fighters for ISIS in Syria, so they can commit heinous, and very real crimes of barbarity against humanity.

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Greek Banks Explode to the Upside Off New ECB Bond Buying Scheme

 

Well, now that rates are negative and banks make money by borrowing it, they need to do something with the excess reserves. Why not buy the shit out of EFSF bonds at huge premiums, so that Greek banks can profit handsomely from it?

Before you do, however, make sure the execs at the banks give you, the European catamite, a ‘little taste’ if you know what I mean.

So, what are we talking about here? The ECB will buy the EFSF bonds that were issued to help recapitalize the Greek banks, as part of their retarded QE program.

Does this make any sense, at all?

Greek banks were prohibited from selling them; because, you know, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO FIRM UP THEIR BALANCE SHEETS.

“This is good because Greek banks need to take big provisions for non-performing loans and an extra source of profitability could be very helpful for the overall results for the year,” said Nikos Kyriazis, an equity sales trader at NBG Securities.

The fuckery is deep.

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Banks are rallying. Greek sovereign bond yields are plunging. QE has saved the day again. God bless financial engineering.

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