iBankCoin

My Longs Are Up, Shorts Down — Just as the Gods Intended

Nothing is more pleasurable than markets in turmoil.

We’re undergoing a bit of turbulence here, as Donald J. Trump threatens the very existence of the global cabal of corporate mercenaries. The panic is very real, tangible, and well worth the sweat.

Hacing said that, I’d be remiss if I did tell you that I saw it coming — because I did. My positions are nearly flawless, both in execution and diversification. My newly forged FIST OF DEATH is punching holes into the veneer of the market with rapid successions most akin to tactical nuclear strikes.

For those of you interested and too cheap to join, no Exodus isn’t oversold yet.

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Current positions, cash stands at 5%. My longs are up, shorts down.

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The winship has only just begun.

NOTE: prices Exodus will be going up in 2017, so be sure to grandfather in now to lock in low rates.

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10 comments

  1. metalleg

    Your shorts are down and you’re in front of a computer. Who are you, Carlos Danger?

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  2. tha pirate

    Doesn’t it seem like CNBC, esp. J Harwood (the Cap’ns favorite reporter) is sending us the message over and over that Clinton is the ‘sure winner’ according to polls etc? While simultaneously ignoring more alleged scandals like:

    http://ibankcoin.com/zeropointnow/2016/11/02/dojs-peter-kadzik-in-charge-of-reopened-email-case-is-a-mole/#comment-245

    Will CNBC just ignore this story and any other alleged Clinton scandals while preaching the ‘world according to Harwood’ where Clinton has already won, there is no actual contest and nothing to see here?

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  3. roundwego

    My longs are up her shorts and in her taco.

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  4. the grandma

    So you are up for the year?

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  5. zusch

    Senior Fly – why is the Bovada line on Trump still +200?

    Wondering why she hasn’t had a medical episode and withdrawn from the race, she must know she’d never make it to inauguration day if she did manage to rig the vote.

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    • zusch

      and just to elaborate, its comforting to see the peso crumbling and SPY falling (not by much, and lets be honest that guy taking the blue pill y’day is likely right), but these PredictIt odds and Bovada lines should be moving more..

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  6. kdogg1787

    Exodus pays for itself. Just do it u clowns. Cubbies?

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