Early Optimism For Deutsche Bank Fades, After News that the Royal Family of Qatar Might Up Stake

All of Europe needs to be bailed out by their masters in the middled east. Perhaps if Germany takes another 5 million refugees, Qatar will buy all of Deutsche Bank and fire all of their female employees, sending them home to wash dishes and provide their bearded husbands with rigorous foot massages.

Bloomberg is reporting that the Royal Family of Qatar, the largest shareholders of DB, might be interested in sopping up more shares — in the event of a capital raise — up to 25% of the company. What’s interesting about said capital raise discussions is the fact that, just last week, the company said they didn’t need it.

Sheikh Hamad Bin Jassim Bin Jabr Al Thani, former Prime Minister of the Gulf State, and the former Emir of the country, Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani are exploring increasing their current stake of about 10 percent in Germany’s biggest lender, the people said, asking not to be identified as the information is private. No final agreements have been reached.

When this bullshit news was released, DB ran higher by 3%. Now the stock is meandering around the flat line — as the hype and specter of a capital raise drifts into the ether — like human rights in the Kingdom of Qatar.

UPDATE: Rumor denied– QATAR SAID UNLIKELY TO RAISE STAKE IN DEUTSCHE BANK: REUTERS