TRANSCENDING DECADNCE

Today I woke up to a burnt back and face, so I decided to head on over to the beach to burn some more. The waters felt like swimming in a large bucket of ice. I tried to utilize my naturally gifted athletic talents, but found that my forty year old body denied me the courtesy and instead froze under the conditions, placing me in a near catonitc state, fully exposed to the elements of Poseidon which sought out and attempted to drown me.

I was unlucky in my attempts to punch sharks in the face, as they cowered in hiding spots far away from my locale. Also, I ate a lot of lobster. Also, I bought more trinkets.

Because I’m traveling with my fucking dog, I mostly eat in the streets like a hobo. Tonight I had takeout in the streets from a Michelin rated eatery. It was delightful, in a bohemian way.

I see the stock market ripped higher again. Naturally, all of you are very excited. After all, this is your shot to break free from the chains of mediocrity and a middled class life. The market is your tit and the Federal Reserve is feeding you a rather intoxicating blend of milk and honey.

Ever wonder why regulations and high taxes never hurt those entrenched in power, meaning big business? It’s their moat. Along the same lines, just know, ‘they’ don’t want you to get rich. They want you slaving in the onion patch, beguiled and bewitched by the specter of riches. Like Captain Flint, they prefer that you chase the dream, indefinitely, for it keeps you docile and makes you think that you’re part of them. By the time you had the chance to figure out the ruse, you’re tired and old and uninterested in raiding the castle with pitched forks.

Be careful buying into crazy faced rallies, heading into September.

Tomorrow I depart back to Princeton, following a brief stop or two so that I might saunter and bedevil local merchants with ruffian styled negotiation tactics. I hope you’ve been enjoying the site while I’ve been away. The Option Addict hastens to make as much money as humanly possible, via prescient picks. RAUL get his Fox News on still. And Ragin Cajun is dealing with a city in ruins.

We used to have many writers at the site, some of which I truly enjoyed reading. But all things end, especially in blogging.

To that end, just know, “The Fly” is everlasting, the evergreen in a field of rotten midget trees. I cast my shadow far and wide, placing all other finance writers in the ‘fag box‘, to wallow and wither away–like morons riding horseback, harried into the middle of a fucking tornado.

From my locale in the northeast region of the United States, hailing from the land of schools, I bring all of you happy tidings and well wishes, as I lay slumbered in a corner sun burnt to a charred cinder. It was always a habit of mine, an avocation even, to ensure that my body had a sufficient amount of color, provided by the sun. I’ve never been obsessive to the point of, let’s say, George Hamilton or John Boehner. But I made it a point to build an immunity to the harsh celestial rays in order to possess a healthy look and to avoid classic white man’s folly, which starts and ends with oversunning and becoming charred, like a moron-idiot–until now.

I’ve been too busy to venture out much this summer and have instead crept about the house, creepily, writing stories of doom and spreading fear across America. This new lifestyle has produced a wantonly milkish tone in Le Fly, an Elmer’s Glue like quality, that when exposed to the sun becomes crisped and blackened, like a smoked trout.

After gallivanting about the beach community, a very sleepy town, a mix of well to do episcopalians still loyal to the crown and half baked meth heads walking around like zombies, I find myself now a bit burnt.

Aside from that, I had a great day, walking around and eating fish, purchasing trinkets and becoming one with the ocean.

I saw the markets went higher today and a great lot of you did very well indeed, circling the toilet bowl for good stocks, grabbing them right out from the coriolis effect and eating them whole.

The Fed doesn’t want to hike rates. Surprise, surprise. But the best place for your money isn’t in stocks, dare I say. The ark, aka government bonds, are the single biggest beneficiary of an easy Fed.

When I tell you that bonds are the best play, it isn’t because they represent the best opportunity. Forget about that. My entire career was built upon mountains of risk, playing with sticks of dynamite inside of gunpowder factories. Now that I’m semi retired at the age of 40, have a few dollars tucked away and a good enough investment portfolio to make most people irate with jealously, I’m more interested in the highest percentage win, not the biggest return. By my calculations, there is a far greater chance of making money in bonds, supported by central bank schemes, than in stocks. It’s a lay up, as far as I’m concerned. If the QE ends, so will my bond positions.

At any rate, tomorrow I fully intend to swim out to punch some sharks in their faces. I spied their stupid fins today and became quite annoyed by them. Therefore, tomorrow I intend to do something about it. Should I get eaten by said sharks tomorrow, just know, “The Fly” died a champion, a hero amongst sun bathers and ocean swimmers everywhere. Monuments will be forged from copper with my likeness, being shredded to pieces by a fucking hammerhead, whilst punching out the black eyes of a murderous villain with Herculean qualities.

Ten thousand salutations and greetings. I see that stocks traded down today. Don’t worry, I’m sure the monkeys will be sent out tomorrow with fresh purchase tickets.

Oil seems to be doing splendidly, in spite of the actual price, when compared to prices of last year, being haggardly. Be sure to purchase as many oil stocks as humanly possible, in order to profit from the House of Saud’s excursion into austerity.

Tomorrow in the day, I expect to break my fast and drink large quantities of black coffee. Any semblance of sugar even next to my coffee makes me physically sick. And, yes, I’ve come to this beach locale without a single pair of shorts. Gentlemen do not adorn shorts in public, lest they’re sauntering about the waters. I do not intend to swim in the water, as I have better things to do than get wet and play with the jellied fish and sea weed.

Also, I’ll be walking in Ralstonian arcs tomorrow, trying to avoid straight lines and perpendicular crossways as best I can.

I’m sure the site will survive without my intense presence this week. You should be fully supportive of our bloggers while I’m gone. I believe Ragin Cajun’s entire city has been wiped out again by a thunderstorm. And, Raul is getting his Fox fucking News on–hardcore.

God bless Option Addict and his larger than life testicles. I hope he grows them to be so big that he can barely walk without the assistance of a rickshaw.

Off to read a book and think about some sleep.

I wasn’t going to even mention that I was away, in an effort to keep state plans secret. As you well know, I’ve been developing the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC), for offensive purposes only, for the better part of the last decade. We’ve endured numerous delays, with regard to shortages of green lasers and depleted uranium. But we are very close to having a beta model, from which ‘trials’ could be conducted. You can sign up to join the trials by leaving a fucked up comment in the comments section.

In the interim, I’ll be sauntering about the North East regions of the United Steaks, discussing politics and other inane matters with the intellectual type in the land of schools. Do not attempt to locate my destination, for it might lead to an immediate removal of your mustaches, via large face punch to the mouth.

I am sure the markets will do well this week, as the stock Gods praise ramps and other crazy fucking things, all for the purpose of an end that remains unclear at the moment. I’ll be checking in at night, and possibly mornings, giving the lot of you Third Estaters small morsels of information regarding Fly in New England.

The fuck out of here with this shit. The ghost of Andrew Carnegie will ensure the price of steel climbs upwards of a billion.

“Our short-term forecast still features a September-October seasonal pullback as China’s steel demand and production rate abates,” analysts including Joel Crane wrote in a report. Over the past 10 years, iron ore prices have on average dropped in September, October and November, according to the report.

The “season is mature now; the reliable September-to-October pullback is nigh,” Crane wrote, adding that rising mine production in Australia and Brazil may also help to blunt prices. “Beyond the seasonal pullback, ore prices should also become increasingly capped in the second half by ongoing supply growth.”

It’s important to understand that the analyst community has been calling for a top, based upon trivial things such as macroeconomics and supply and demand superficialities, for more than a year. Little do they know, the price of steel is climbing on the same gas, the same speed, that is driving stocks. The price of steel doesn’t bend the knee to seasonal factors or Chinese economic slowdowns. The price of steel is driven by the balls of central bankers. Period, end of story.

Hailing from the same small town as Stratton Oakmont, Hain Celestial announced after the close that they’ll be missing earnings expectations, in addition to dealing with a summer annoyance of an accounting irregularity. On this unfortunate news, shares are indelibly lower, by 24%.

Via WSJ:

Hain, which also said it doesn’t expect to meet its fiscal 2016 guidance, said the accounting issues stem from concessions granted to distributors. It is reviewing whether revenue associated with the concessions was accounted for in the correct period, and is also evaluating its internal control over financial reporting.

The review will delay its filing for the quarter ended June 30.

Hain doesn’t expect any revenue-timing changes to affect the total amount of revenue ultimately recognized. Hain said the issue “does not reflect on the validity of the underlying transactions.”

After the company reported this news, it is widely rumored the CEO ate a GMO-laden salad with ‘conventional’ ribeye with loads of gluten ridden bread–also non-organic.

The royalty of Wall Street are reporting changes to their mammoth sized portfolios this afternoon. Some of these picks might’ve been selected under the influence of cocaine or other narcotics, while others were chosen using their vast resources to foresee into the future.

Here are the notable reports.

Courtesy of Briefing.com

As stocks continue to press higher based upon central bank QE and a reduction in US GDP, thanks to woeful retail numbers, melt ups are abound. Amazingly, over 200 stocks are higher by 10% or more this past week.

Some of the best performers include: DRYS, NBY, REN, ACIA, TWLO, CC (shout out to House Dupont), ENDP and EGRX.

Some of the more obvious stocks to move in an environment that rewards WANTON DEGENERACY are the Chinese Burrito stocks, wrought with accounting irregularities and scandal.

Some of today’s Chinese lottery winners are SORL, NQ and MOMO (how fitting). Others that are on the cusp of breaking loose from the chains of skepticism, and will soon be running commando in the tall green grass, are JD, VIPS, SINA, YY, JOBS and CMCM.

All of you should celebrate and enjoy. The market is at new highs and the children are frolicking about the golden fields playing with gems and oil barrels.

What splendour. The celebratory cheers of a vulgar people, inebriated and without purpose,  have been  festooned across Wall Street as decor for America’s greatness. The disenfranchised and the purblind gaze upon men and women– popping champagne corks into each others faces– from the luxuriate confines of their McDonald’s drive-thru windows, and saunter off into a transfixed state with thoughts of opportunity and an ideal to strive for.

“The Fly”,  talking to you from the deepest and darkest corner of his ark, provides the Mcdonald’s drive thru window guy with short squeeze opportunities, courtesy of Exodus.

These stocks possess strong technicals and an abundance of short sellers by which you might endeavor to kill or maim. These lads are sitting ducks, in this cartoonish gallery of vaudeville. Take it to them with your stipends and purchase as many shares as possible. Then borrow from the bank to extend a margin account. After you did that, partake in the options markets, preferably in out of the money weekly contracts–with the stated goal of becoming rich. After you’ve achieved a status of wealth, you should partake in shareholder activism, change your name to William A. Ackman, and write a blog. At which point, you might become jaded enough, wealthy enough, to throw it all away–living the life of a vagabond and throw shit at people during the morning rush hour.

That journey begins here.

Short squeeze plays

A lot of debt is coming due, so CHK is going to raise some more debt in order to refinance the old stuff. It’s a parlour trick that Wall Street plays, kicking the can down the road, hoping for good things to materialize.

Since the CHK bonds have been beaten to shit, they will use some of the proceeds to buy back $500m of convertible senior notes.

This coming after the companies decision to sell its stake in the Barnett Shale has highlighted the companies efforts to pare down its gigantic debt load.

The natural gas producer hired Goldman Sachs Group Inc., Citigroup Inc. and Mitsubishi UFJ Financial Group Inc. to arrange the five-year secured debt, it said Monday in a statement. Proceeds will refinance debt, including backing tender offers to buy back up to $500 million of its bonds, according to a separate statement.

The new loan will be secured by the same collateral backing the company’s $4 billion revolving credit facility due December 2019, according to the statement. The holders of the original revolving credit loan will be senior to those holding the new loan, the company said. The existing loan pays interest at 2.5 percentage points more than the London interbank offered rate.

Wall Street seems to like it.