The Entirety of the Italian Banking System Called into Question

Everyone was jerking off to the news that Monte del Paschi was going to receive a $5b bailout yesterday, until they read the details. Pray tell me, fucked face, how does a bank with a market cap of $1b raise $5b in capital? If so, do you think that’s good for shareholders? No one really gives a shit about lowly stock holders. We’ve seen this show before. The bond holders make out like fucking bandits, while everyone else holds a bag of dicks.

So now the entire Italian banking system is being called into question. Banks are getting orangutan’d by heavy losses. Don’t you worry a wink, however, about the sovereigns. Those will be purchased by the ECB, who magically creates new money, out of thin air, for the explicit purposes of reducing borrowing costs for runaway fiscal budgets.