In any business, the bottom dross should be culled each spring, in order to water the tree of growth with the blood of the weak. Back in doldrum days of 2002, the brokerage firm by which I was employed would fire 5 lads each Friday.
The process was methodical, almost clinical in its mechanical precision. Until one day they tried to fire one of my crazy friends. The tell if you were going to be fired was they’d ask you to ‘bring your book’ with you into the meeting. Back then, nothing was digital. All transactions and client information was stored inside of a black binder.
They asked John to bring his book to the meeting and he fucking took his shit and ran full speed–the fuck out of there. One of the fat managers chased him down the hall, screaming ‘John, John, come back here, John.’
He was never to be seen again. Last I heard, John tried to run over his girlfriend with an automobile. When the cops arrived at the scene, they asked him ‘what happened here? Was it an accident’? Allegedly and legendarily, he replied ‘no, I tried to run the bitch over.’
Twelve thousand Intel bitches are being run over tonight, as the company announced its intention to cull 11% of its workforce–the most since 2009.
The financial engineering continues. Growth is non-existent, so companies are resorting to share buyback and the confiscation of everyone’s black books to meet and exceed earnings.
Intel is down 2% in the after hours after posting milquetoast earnings.
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You would make a really good HR person.
People would be shaking when they see you walking towards them on a Friday AM.
John probably should have been fired, if he wasn’t smart enough to make copies of his binder prior to his firing.
bring back the bear market recession because quite frankly i’m bored
And shortly after the layoffs are done, Intel will go back to Congress and complain that there aren’t enough H1-B visas.
Ironically, some of the 12,000 will almost certainly be older workers who were, early in their careers…… H1-B visa holders…..
HR consultants are the scum of the Earth. I’ve worked for two large consulting firms, one was a large LLP now publicly traded and the other publicly traded; actuarial scientists/consultants/scum come up with some algorithm and there was no obvious rhyme or reason why an individual was chosen to be culled. Often, the best people were lost, gone. If they were smart, they landed on their feet someplace better.
I now suspect it had more to do with vesting than anything else. Managers seemed to have no say in the matter nor did performance reviews.
If anyone has any insight on this, I’d love to read your comments.
I do know of one incident where the person who was fired, to reduce staff, was chosen b/c she was there; the other guy was on vacation.
And personally, another incident, management was genuinely afraid of the guy that should have been fired (he was, however, eventually fired.) I bet they gave him some sort of special treatment and promised him a position within a different LOB.
Remember the Seinfeld when Elaine promoted the psycho guy everyone was afraid of?
I recall the episode.
It was very funny- he wanted to write in the J. Peterman… kicking in the bathroom stall….
The guy wore fatigues @ work.
I had to let a few people go when I had my business and I think I was more nervous than they were (although I didn’t show it- never let them see this from the owner).
Hey tradercaddy, I appreciate your input and respect you for it.
Posting out of order to wake you up:
Fly, Fly Fly, Fly Fly,
President Obama compromised. He didn’t get what he wanted. He did get a major healthcare initiative signed into Federal law. Not an easy thing to accomplish. And I don’t think I have to tell you that the money is there for us to have a certain level of national healthcare. If I do have to convince you of that, then you are fraud.
Here is where it gets hazy. Vaccines, wound care, appendicitis versus a baby born two months premature or someone who needs a transplant or the latest, most expensive cancer treatment. The “versus” could go on and on.
Vampyr, how can we spend money on health care? We need our money to invade lots of countries for reasons to be invented. Ask the neocons if you don’t believe it.
I sure hope we don’t get a neocon pres. But Sanders is the only one who clearly is not one. Health care, infrastructure– that’s the kind of thing the government should spend money on– not invading countries that are no threat to the U.S.
Frog, if you find your way back to this post, I am with you. Our nation’s strength is in the people.
Hey Everyone, remember that pithy little document and speech known as the “Gettysburg Address”.
http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/gettysburg.htm
cramer is on this wild bull rant again. all of this early cycle expansion chatter. all i know is the market has one primary goal. to separate you from your money.
If you are wondering why companies like Intel spend all there time on financial engineering instead of actual investment, you might want to consider Paul Krugman’s argument about the decline of competition in the American economy:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/18/opinion/robber-baron-recessions.html?_r=0
Thanks, the dude. Great article there about how the virtual end of anti-trust enforcement hurts the economy, Intel being an example of that trend.
Ridiculous hypocrisy from Krugman. Keynesian nanny statists have zero interest in “promoting competition”. Verizon and the like are monopolies because the government has provided them with exclusive rights to operate thusly.
Companies like Intel spend all their time providing you with fastest computer chips ever, a modern marvel beyond argument. Now that everybody has already bought those chips, they need cut back until mass demand returns, which won’t happen until all the mal-invested bad public/private debt is blown out and eliminated. Brain-dead simple.
Johny B. Lol
Story is 100% true.
Regards
Chuck Bennett
That fat guy who was chasing him ended up having his wife leave him 5 years later.
Rumor is (I believe it’s true) he ended up having relations with trannies. Pre Jenner of course.
Regards
Chuck Bennett
I think he used to cold call me.
That story was very entertaining. Intel bitchez…haha.
My ribs are crackin laughin out loud. Tried to run the bitch over.
LMAO!