Come 2018, NYC will be blessed with heaven on earth. Starbucks is set to open its 2nd ‘roastery’ super store, the first being in Seattle. These stores are designed to hypnotize its customers into joining the coffee collective, for resistance is futile and the bean always wins.
“Our Seattle Roastery experience created something that had never been done before, transforming a retail environment into something far beyond just a coffee shop and into the single-best retail experience of any kind,” said CEO Howard Schultz in a statement.
These stores are like places of worship for coffee connoisseurs. All other NYC coffee retailers will soon be subjugated to the coal room class in the coffee hierarchy. H. Shultz and his billions will do for coffee what Walt Disney did for rollercoasters.
BEHOLD the Seattle roastery, coming soon to the major city near you.
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Now they’ve gone too far.
Looks nice. But I miss our local Donut King with the flies on the donuts, the servers who were one step away from being homeless, and where retired truck drivers could sit all day and figure out how to solve all the worlds problems.