THE UNICORNS ARE DEAD, ALL OF THEM

Frederick Wilson will not be pleased by this blog, highlighting a horrific ipo market, the worst since 2009.

For the year, our beloved underwriters have raised just $30 billion for companies coming public, down 64% from 2014. That’s a clown number. All of the men, in all of the investment banking divisions, should be fired and replaced with fire hydrants.

On top of that, 1/3rd of all 2015 IPOs were dogshit biotechs. This has truly been a year of extreme fuckery; and we’re not done yet.

Part of the problem is the lack of necessity to IPO. Fred Wilson has plenty of money to dole out to companies. He pays them to burn cash in a giant garbage pale. In return, they all walk around with hoodies and hire a bunch of cool people to help burn Fred’s money. Then Fred shows his friends how awesome they are and then sells his shares to them, booking 100,000% profits.

By the time the buyers figure out the company they invested in was nothing more than a money burning in garbage pale operation, it’s too late; the shares would have alredy dropped by 80%.