It Was the Best of Times

Lock in whatever losses you can before the day is done, in order to offset capital gains. It’s stupid, frankly, to keep losses on the books, considering the amount of taxes you will have to pay for being successful in 2013.

Enjoy the New Year’s and try not to humiliate yourselves, drunken apes, vagabond miscreants.

Toast to a good year and an even better 2014. Thank you for your support, business, and keeping my many enemies at bay during 2013.

Just a reminder: due to supply/demand metrics, prices for all iBC premium products are set to rise by 20% at the stroke of midnight, tonight. Be sure to join prior to that, in order to relish and bathe in 2013’s miserly rates.

(tips hat)

Cheers.

You knew this would happen. The simple fact of the matter is, gains are rich and managers and pushing the envelope today–because there is no one in the way to stop them.

Press higher and salvage another $25 million in fees. Keep buying that stock until the whites are seen in the eyes of those who are short; grab another $100 million in fees.

It’s a melt up, gentlemen. Weaker men, like Jennifer, are scurrying about, trying to hide from hideously fantastic pirate vessels.

But you can’t hide. We have good vision and sharp cutlasses.

I am up another 1.5% today, putting me in the +70% range for the year. I ride out long ANGI, SHLD, YY, LITB, OWW, BALT, RBCN, and a variety of olde man stocks, such as FB and AAPL.

It was a good year, a very good year. I intend to celebrate like a gentleman, which means controlling my intake of alcoholic beverages and not behaving like an ape, just for the sake of acting like an ape.

More on this later.

In the year of our lord, 2014, the following things will happen.

The S&P 500 will rise by another 30%, twisting short sellers into tight balls of yarn to be kicked to and fro down the sewer drain.

Gold will break $1,000 to the downside, which will force many miners into receivership.

BBRY will teeter with bankruptcy.

The Dry Bulk Index will lift above $10,000, making the shipping sector the very best investments for 2014.

BALT will triple in value.

Solar will continue to trade up.

Oil will lift to $120.

Natural gas will be rangebound between $3-5.

Bill Ackman will get his revenge, as all nerds tend to do. HLF will trade down by more than 50% in 2014.

Carl Icahn will liquidate his entire NFLX position.

Apple will trade at all-time highs.

The Chinese market will rise by 50%.

Asian stocks will outperform Europe and be in-line with America.

Hong Kong will outperform every industrialized country in the world.

No one will care about the dollar or the yen. The headlines will be fixed on Bitcoin, which will top out at 3,000 and crash mightily to nothing at all–zero.

Biotech will continue to outperform, fueled by mergers and acquisitions.

MLNX will be acquired.

RAX will go private.

VMW will be acquired.

CRM will be acquired.

FB will trade to $75.

TWTR will trade in a range from $35-70.

YELP will break $100.

LNKD will trade to $350.

Margin levels will continue to hit new highs, and wealth will be generated at a franticly fantastic pace– thanks to gains in equities.

XIV will return over 100% again.

“The Fly” is going to win, again and again and again, as is customary for him to do so.

That is all. It has been written. It shall be so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=I5C6HH-CpsE#t=63

I will be unveiling my predictions for 2014 this evening. In the meantime, enjoy some classic Orson Welles.

Carl Icahn comes to mind.

Min market cap of $1 billion

And here is the ETF degeneracy list of “winners”.

XIV is the best investment of all-time, good for annual triple digit gains.

Here are the losers.

2013 was all about punching gold and silver investors in the face, whilst defecating on Canadian high tech firms and Ron Johnson.

Here were the biggest losers of 2013, whose market caps still hover above $1 billion. I wanted to exclude the riffraff. This is quality garbage.

And here is the annual list of leveraged ETF time bombs and volatility nightmares.

Is that right? Did NUGT lose 95% of its value in 2013?!

What are your favorite turn arounds for 2014?

Chinese burrito stocks are leading the charge. I’m not particularly sure where it’s leading us, perhaps into an abyss; but they’re going nonetheless. CSUN, YGE, BORN, GOMO: the country who perfected accounting irregularities are gifting us with cheap wares and even cheaper stocks to gun higher; at least they’re cheap on paper, of course.

Some of you boys and girls are probably wondering “why isn’t Fly worried about BALT trading down?” The answer is as simple as the question. See, I don’t think BALT will trade to $10; I know it will. Any discount in the shares before that destiny is fulfilled is a potential buying opportunity for yours truly. I’ve become “zen” with the machinations of the market, ignoring crafty men with hooked noses because it’s an easier way to live.

I like LITB and SHLD for the kill, over the next day or so. I don’t expect to make any big changes and I certainly will not be buying any TWTR on this dip. For now, I am sitting firm, waiting for my hand to work, enjoying the scenary.

“The Fly” isn’t about to partake in juvenile games just days before the New Year’s, a day when all men wash themselves from the dirt and grime to become new species, almost overnight, bouncing around the world–aimlessly–in search of purpose.

Since I am not going to be doing that, I thought I’d give you a few stock ideas to think about, as you plot your next act of heinous barbarity.

Understand something: these are names that closed within 1% of session highs on Friday, have a short position greater than 10% and are generally hated by mankind, but happen to be bucking the trend and have great tech scores, provided by and cared for by The PPT.

Here is the screen.

And here are some choice names.

AKS
SCHN
AA
X
COLM
CRZO
ANR
SIFY
WLT
CLF
ACI
JOY
FANG

Do you remember when I published the seasonality trends for December and it pointed towards old school steel and industrial names? Don’t you find it funny how the above names are mostly exactly that?

Indeud.

Some of you devils and demons are in so called virtuous loops, fixated on material items, only interested in things that you can touch and show to friends, family and enemies alike. The other half of you conduct yourselves with the utmost rectitude, shying away from vices, fashion and other forms of vanity, to live simpler lives, pedestrian dwellings on the farm or housing tenements, what have you.

But are you really living, or simply taking up time?

We can discuss the markets and how BALT is eventually destined to rip the skin, muscles and ligaments off of Jennifer’s skull, but what’s the point? We all know by now that “The Fly wins all the time” and any attempts to circumvent his authority on stocks, and other matters, is an exercise in extreme futility.

Is there anything else worth discussing?

Have you read a book lately, watched a movie that made you think? Have you tried new foods, traveled to interesting places?

Often times we place ourselves in a frenzied state, chasing the dream, trying to grab a piece of immortality. But who are we doing it for? Do your children care if you made $2 million per annum or $200k?

I am not interested in becoming a new man, with the onset of the New Year, or making resolutions that only placate my deepest insecurities. Each and every day, I try to gain wisdom by seeking out the truth. It comes in various forms, possessed by both the well to do and the canaille. I find it in books, theatre, cinema and even here, in the slums of the internets, where garrulous men walk about the digital highway throwing mashed potatoes at one another.

If there is one thing that I could recommend for you to do in 2014, it is this: let the stock market work for you, not the other way around. Let the obsessed do their jobs and provide you with the wisdom you need to finance life, or in my case: death rays orbiting in outer space. It is my burden to find the truth in the stock market and I’ve become quite efficient at it over the years. It has taken me thousands of hours to understand its intricacies and it still tricks me to this day.

This is not a playground for the unwashed, haphazard, vagabond, amateur chess player to parlay family fortunes in the hopes of creating real, sustainable wealth. The market isn’t going to be this easy in 2014 and I suspect you’d be better suited seeking out new catamites, than to develop new trading methods that are sure to crush your bones into the hard rocks of despair.

Cheers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRoqymkeGc

I added to my ANGI position.