How is This Legal?

I never heard of “The Obama Phone” before I saw this fucking video.

First of all, it’s disgusting that the government is WASTING our money by giving away a luxury item. If people need to make a call, use a fucking pay phone.  I figured the “Obama Phone” was just a nickname given by the people from the sewer, who were sponging from good folks like me, in order to order drugs from local vendors.

THEN I SAW THIS!

(click on picture)

I mean, it has it’s own fucking website named after him and all.

How is this legal? Let me get this straight: he is using government funds to give away a luxury item to his political base and brand it with his last name? The free phone is synonymous with Obama. Therefore, he will literally get votes from people who enjoy this service.

Pray tell me, democrats and republicans alike, does this make any sense?

UPDATE: Apparently many parts of my reporting of “The Obama Phone” are false and may be deceptive to my dear readers. However, keeping with the spirit of the lazy 47% of America, I’ve opted to leave the story as is, in an effort to create my own form of propaganda. I could very easily correct the story and post some real facts. But that would be honest, something our beloved government abhors and does not endorse under any circumstances. Having said that, “The Obama Phone” also comes with a “VOTE OBAMA” app, where users can cast a ballot for their phone overlord, in order to keep the service going, and for free! Also, I understand Obama text messages these people directly to remind them that if they vote for Romney, their service will be interrupted.

UPDATE II:

So what the nasdaq was up 40. Without AAPL, it was probably up 20. Once again, we sold off from the highs. I was up almost 3% during lunch, yet closed up barely 2%. It’s a good showing, no doubt. Howsoever, there is more capitulation to be had. I can smell it and feel it in my bones.

I’d like, very much so, to bank tremendous amounts of coin and kick short sellers down flights of stairs lined with mustard– but it isn’t going to happen.

THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

Even so, I remain stoically “statued” (pardon the redundancy), long by 90%. I am sick and tired of switching gears, just for the sake of “trying something new.” I am exhausted from being on the rat wheel and have opted to kill or be killed. Granted, taking such a position when +32% for the year is like throwing plugged in toasters into a swimming pool filled with “Twitter experts.” Nevertheless, you know where I stand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

I’m heading out to run a few errands, which will cost me about $10,000. I am up more than 2% today, which is nice; but I am still mad. I think it’s a genetic disposition of mine to be in a constant state of belligerency. It it’s not the markets, it’s something else. Most of the time, I take my fury out on you, the simple reader.

Now for some substance. I will forgo new ideas, since I am fully invested. At the moment, I built a portfolio around two stocks: KMB and ESRX. They are large(d) cap and trending higher. Everyone needs toilet tissue and drugs. Those two stocks represent more than 25% of my assets. Other 10% positions include DDD, OSG, JIVE and PPC. Five percent positions include ULTA, IDTI, SVU and NAK.

I am positioned for stability and growth. My guess, this blend of madness will produce a beta of 2.00 on up days and 0.75 on down. Both ESRX and KMB tend to outperform the market on down days.

It is an exhibition, if you will, of mathematical precision–winship by any means necessary.

I’ve been fooled for a week straight with false rallies, only to dissipate and stab me in the back of the head. Whatever cash I have left will remain in my coffers, reserved for a real sell-off, a catastrophe that even Scott Bleier could embrace.

Slowly but surely, the market is inching its way lower. I am up 0.84% for the day; but it won’t last.

ANR just reaffirmed guidance. This should cause a massive squeeze in coal names. I forewarned you of this possibility yesterday. The coals have been unduly beaten down, just like some of the good shippers, like OSG. But we are in a very tenuous place for the markets right now. GDP is advancing by a pathetic 1.3% clip and China is in dire need of stimulus. Those stupid fuckers are busy retooling obsolete Soviet Union aircraft carriers, instead of minding to their bullshit economy. By far, regardless of what the man in the bowed tie says, China has the WORST  developed economy in the world. I say that because their risks and dangers have not been brought to the light. They are hidden under accounting fraud and government controls. If the Chinese economy was allowed to float freely, it would collapse like a cheap accordion–being played by a chimpanzee– in a small Italian town on the coast.

Nevertheless, I remain defiant in the face of immeasurable obstacles, long by 90%, up 30% for the year aka much better than you.

Using a simple screen inside of The PPT, I searched for companies growing revenues by 15%+ that have “enjoyed” share declines of 10% or more over the past week.

One of the aforementioned names is DDD, a top 5 position of mine. Why the stock is dropping like a stone is anyone’s guess. However, it’s important to remember that high growth, evolutionary, stocks–like DDD–always jar investors with volatility before the earnings outlook is solidified amongst investors. Once that happens, the stock will take off and never look back.

AAPL, MLNX, CMG, ISRG come to mind.

I can’t begin to tell you how pleased I am to lose a little money. Without doing so, I wouldn’t get to meet all of you fucking awesome and amazing stock market experts. Comments like “who the fuck buys at 5 year highs” are just so rich, filled with oxymorons, I wouldn’t know how to function without them.

Soon enough, as the slide continues and my losses deepen, the SHIT-TALKERS will emerge, like trolls from the manholes, to educate me on all things to do with finance. These misfits of Manhattan, pikers of broadway, will teach me what I need to be told. It’s all very true, indeud, we all need a good talking to. However, as Mother Market is my witness, I’d commit spontaneous acts of murder if you and I were left alone in a dark alley way. I’d sever your heads and kick them to the moon.

Aside from that, futures are higher; but they are lying to you.

Tomorrow morning I will throw out some good dip buying ideas. Eventually, this horrific decline of historical proportions will cease and we can commence “Operation Cocaine Train” again.

In an era of cheap money and immorality, I expect better than 5 consecutive days lower. If they want me to keep spending at a $2k per day clip, I need to see greener stock prices. As it stands now, I am not making any money. In fact, believe it or not, I am losing some.

DDD got lit up again. I waited patiently to buy into it, thinking the slightest pullback would offer a great buying opportunity. Apparently, the industry has gone to shit over the past week and now I’m stuck with outrageous losses.

My other big loss is coming out of JIVE, now down 7% from basis. The hits keep coming and the market is just getting revved up.

Everyone is telling you to “not worry” and how things will hold here and move higher next week. I dare to tell you the exact opposite.

RUN for fucking cover. On Jupiter’s Stone, we’re cooked. I say this, totally selfless, fully invested in stocks with just 10% in cash. I am determined to punish myself with egregious losses, as a lesson to adhere to the warning signs. I saw them and didn’t listen: now I will pay the price with blood.

PPC is moving up. Therefore, I am still “The Chicken Man.” My losses stand at 1.2% for the day, somewhat hedged by two of my top 3 positions being up: KMB and ESRX.

I am hiding away in my basement, like a troll, typing away like a blogging gorilla doped up on meth.

Basic materials have bounced. ANR, ACI, and others, are ripping to the upside. Sterne Agee is out with a report citing coal demand is sustaining and increasing upon recent share gains at utilities and has done so every month since the April lows. Moreover, they feel the recent drawdowns in supply bodes well for pricing going forward. In a word: HORSESHITTERY.

As long as natural gas is selling for dirt nuts, coal is in the penalty box. Nevertheless, some of those names can springboard higher for a trade. To think, I sold ANR more than $2 higher just last week.

I’m still waiting for my fucking boat stock to reverse higher, OSG. And, let’s not forget, I am taking 4-D losses in this fucking 3-D stock. DDD is the future. However, the future is never guaranteed.

At the moment, I am down 1.06% for the day.

The Fed already fired its QE3 shot.

Both Italian and Spanish yields are climbing again.

Utilities and large cap dividend plays are running.

Apple is falling.

Commodities are falling.

The euro is falling.

Basic material stocks are being dismantled.

TLT is ripping.

War in the middle east is ongoing and expanding.

Obama is leading in the polls.

October is an ominous month for stocks.

There you have it. I encourage the JAKEGINT’s of the world to climb this wall, without harness. I am sure he will fair well in his golden goose stocks, when the world falls into a fucking sinkhole of depression and despair.

I’d like you to know, “The Fly” gets incredibly somber, almost melancholy, when he is losing. Right now I am Captain Extraordinaire of the SS “Fucked”, steering my passengers–almost intentionally–into catastrophic ice bergs and coral reefs. I am drunk from stupidity, paying the price for my greed.

Aside from all that mind bending fuckery, my home has been invaded by multiple construction crews. Since Mrs. Fly has decided to renovate everything all at once, I find myself without internet access, clinging onto whatever bandwidth my little “hotspot” device decides to grant me. The fireplace guys are lazy goat-fuckers, lamenting hard work, attempting to gain my permission to cut through the walls upstairs, in order to access the chimney. I had to correct them and let them know the roof was their only point of access to said chimney.

The wood guys are setting off my fire alarms, with their fucking saws and the trim guys are making a ridiculous mess of my driveway. Oh, and the HVAC guy is trying to sell me some bullshit ozone air purifier, in order to afflict my family with irreversible lung damage.

Aside from all that, things are great.

I hope you are enjoying the tepid opening because the shit, mind you, will hit the fan later on today. I am very gloomed and doomed. My prospects at making some decent coin in this market has been smashed to pieces by QE3 buyers, who are now unwinding, running for safe haven.

TLT is heading higher. I’ve made my bed from concrete and intend to sleep in it, regardless of market action. Over the past two weeks, I’ve moved things around, quite a bit. I am tired of running and will opt to face my worst fears, even if it steam rolls my person into the fucking pavement, permanently solidifying my embodiment into the halls of great stupidity.