In this scene, the fucker with the odd facial hair, eating the steak, is opting to have his body placed in a giant pod to be used as a battery and later liquidated when his body runs low on “energy”– by his robot overlords–just so that he doesn’t have to deal with the harshness of life. To accomplish this great feat, he rats on his friends to the robot overlords, who will then kill them with intense laser beams and/or virtual handguns.
Sorry to encroach on Chess’s movie theatre monopoly. But I’ve lost my marbles in a market gone haywire.
I’ve been hysterically laughing to myself for the past hour. My wife was scornfully growling at me, as tears of hysteria rolled down my cheek.
First, do not misconstrue my feelings about today as being insensitive to those of you who incurred losses in social media stocks. This shit isn’t supposed to happen and we all deal with tragedy differently.
I’ve never, in all of my years, seen something as genuinely funny, thanks to overt criminality of venture capitalists and investment bankers, resulting in such staggering losses for me. Truly, it was unbelievable. What was I thinking holding YELP into this FACETRAP ipo? I still cannot fathom the audacity of people selling SVVC down 7. I mean, LOL, it’s a fucking closed end fund, you insolent fools!
Who are you people selling these stocks?
Look, from here on out, I despise Mark Zuckerberg. He is my enemy. Fuck the thousand millionaires he created today, who dumped stock on the market. Fuck the venture capitalists who gouged, like fat gluttonous pigs, off of the accounts of retail investors, on an unprecedented scale. The Facebook ipo was a boiler room underwriting and resulted in “hot money” running for dear mercy (lol) out of anything socially related.
Seriously, you cannot make this stuff up. Not only did the Facebook ipo fail to inspire, it caused a cataclysm in the market, a dislocation in a sector not seen since the dot bomb days. At least back then stocks fell because business sucked. Today, these companies are growing; but because people despise anything related to Facebook, the stocks are getting fed to animals, dirty, vicious ones in the streets.
Here’s what is going to happen next.
Facebook is grossly overvalued, by at least 30%. The shares of Facebook are going to trade under $30 inside of 30 days. As for my YELP: I am woefully guilty of buying this stock alongside hot money clown rapers. These rapists have tainted the waters and have caused a panic in the shares, all for superficial reasons. If FB traded to $50, then YELP would have gone up?
I hate the market.
In short, in all of my years investing, I have NEVER, EVER seen an industry leader in its prime come public and RAPE its peer group. I hope everyone from Facebook contracts a flesh eating disease over the weekend, and then have intercourse with Magic Johnson.
Who would have known the vampire that is Facebook would have sucked my YELP position dry, fucking the entirety of the social media sector? TELL ME, WHO WOULD FUCKING KNOW THIS INFORMATION (ask Chuck Bennett for the answer)? Back in the old days, when an industry leader came public, the halo effect would buoy shares of peers. Not today.
In this fucked up world, the exact opposite occurs. Instead of riding the coattails of an industry leader in its prime, your fucking stock triggers circuit breakers to the downside and gets halted for trading, like ZNGA.
What am I going to do? Should I walk down the street and hit someone with a tennis racket, right in the nose? Or, maybe I should buy a few slices of hot, hot pizza and slap people with them?
You know, I’m actually tempted to sell out of my old man stocks and buy more EXK/AG/WNR. Without a doubt, that move will fuck me. I’ve saved myself so much money this year, more than you know, by doing nothing. So many times I felt like buying something, only to see it drown in large vats of vomit, shortly thereafter. I really want to buy precious metals here; therefore, you should sell them short.
That’s all.
I’m sick of talking about Facebook or listening to some fat slob talk about his emails regarding their allocations. I DON’T CARE.
Life could be worse. I wanted to really load up on MTW the other day, but opted for a midget sized position instead. Lo and behold, SHAZAAAM, that fucker is down 30% in a few days. No biggie. The Chinese don’t need cranes anymore.
YELP IS CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, but also expensive as hell. You must understand there are valuations during times of duress and a totally different price when markets are booming. Everything is shit now; therefore, speculative stocks get to enjoy multiple compression. The trillion dollar question is: what are the fucking Greeks gonna do?
David Faber from CNBC is reporting that NASDAQ reporting delays caused people to step away from buying Facebook. Underwriters came in and supported the $38 bid and
The ipo came out and completely fucked the market. Do you see this shit?
SVVC, GSVC, YELP, P and others are getting smashed due to the milquetoast response to Facebook. The spastic retards at ZNGA are getting punched so hard, they had to halt their shares, like pussies, down 13% for the day.
ROFL
SHAME ON THE HOUSE OF CNBC for hyping this shit. We all love ipos, especially when great companies come public. Get this: FACEBOOK IS A GREAT COMPANY, but not at these fucking valuations. This is more of the same from the assholes who underwrite new issues on Wall Street. They don’t care about you. They are there to serve their client and grab concessions.
The syndicate better get their fucking acts together and SUPPORT THIS FUCKING IPO. Get this fucker above $40, else you will make the news for launching the biggest dickbomb on America since TheGlobe.com.
It’s coming public at 100x earnings and 26x sales. That’s at $38! The stock will trade above $38, putting its valuation at untouchable levels. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am huge supporter of social media, and own a significant position in YELP. But I can’t buy this company at these prices.
I will wait for the weaker hands to get flushed and for the European shit-storm to hit Zuckerberg’s face. Then I will buy the shares below its ipo price.
The market is “gorilla gay.” After further review, it appears to me the market will hit 1,250 on the S&P, clearing out all of the OVERBOUGHT signals, provided by The PPT over the past 6 months. In case you forgot, Ragin Cajun posted a study pointing to the OB/OS system trades inside PPT. The results were nothing less than staggering.
However, partly thanks to LTRO, the market ran away at the beginning of 2012, putting the system TZA trade deeply underwater, by as much as 30%. Naturally, this was a very hard pill to swallow and I opted to cut losses at around $21-22. However, lo and behold, the market is coming in and that TZA trade is on the cusp of break-even–absolutely staggering. Once The PPT closes OVERSOLD, the TZA trade must be closed and the first of 3 tranches of TNA should be bought.
Moving on, ZSL was flagged OB the other day and I still like that trade, as a short. Shorting ZSL, long EXK, AG works for me. Both gold and silver are long overdue a bounce. Aside from that, I like YELP on the Facebook shit and MTW for “cheap as fuck” bounce.
My recent drawback has been displeasing to say the least. But why don’t you do me a favor and kindly gander over to my position sheet and learn about the defensive nature that is Le Fly? Why thank you.
More than 45% of my portfolio is either in cash or mega-caps yielding 3%+. Another 30% is in my lunatic YELP position, which has been a store of value as of late. The rest is a pastiche of EXK, WNR, AG, MTW, AAPL and CPST. I like to consider that to be my “risky shit.”
Believe me, I am well aware that my lack of offense in this market gives the appearance of weakness. To relinquish a bit of candor onto your ugly faces, I will tell you this is the furthest thing from the truth. “The Fly” thrives best when cornered like a hungry rat looking for cheese. Nothing tests my mettle like a spiraling market lower, one that breaks smaller men in a single trading session takes an eternity to break me.
I am still up 6% for the year. Yes folks, I’ve done give back nearly 14 fucking percent in this wretched whore-bitch of a motherfucking tape (why don’t you pardon me for my verbiage?). But that’s okay. I still got my balls attached to my penis and millions of dollars to throw into the fire. I do not fret from danger, but embrace it with an effervescent spirit, bearded face, and bayonet.
I will short stocks when I am god-damned good and ready. You can short this shit at low levels, providing that is your thing, only to get fucked up in a squeeze later on. It happens to most of us, but never the best. I will kindly play the long side, from my porch, sipping on lemonade, while watching the kids play with my collection of grenades.
Until next time, this was Gentleman Fly telling ya’ll to fuck off and good night.
