It’s Safe to Masterbate Again

Tea Party favorite, Christine O’Donnell, major supporter of NOT beating ones meat, has been defeated by the “war hero,” Dick Blumenthal. I look forward to having men like Dick handle this nations military affairs.

My great grandfather came to this country, from Sicily, then settled in Harlem, NYC, where he joined the mafia and made his mark. That’s what America is all about. Stake your claim, then shoot someone, possibly an enemy, in the face. These “illegal Mexicans” are a disgrace to past immigrants. These dish washers and construction workers are taking jobs away from machines and lazy white men. Well, thanks to the new agenda being ushered in by the Tea Party, their insidious reign of terror inside of NYC’s high end eateries (celery cutters!!!) will be coming to an end soon, God willing (by the way, we are a CHRISTINE NATION you heathens).

As the results roll in, one thing is for certain, GET LONG SHARES OF CXW (big position of Pershing Square’s), for many an illegal Mexicans will be serving time in prison soon. CXW is the leading candidate to receive “kick-ass” Federal dollars to “house” illegal critters, offering them food, earth, and water. As you know, margins are terrific inside of prisons. Other prison plays include: CRH (construction of prisons, amongst other stuff), GEO (“facilities”) and CNSL (telecom services).

In case you didn’t know, FREEDOM IS RETURNING to America tonight, distributed on a first come first serve basis.

The markets are ripping into the close, as investors view a big GOP win as a net positive for stocks. In particular, oil and retail stocks should do well, if the Bush tax cuts are extended. Plus, as you all know, the GOP is a BIG fan of fossil fuels, to hell with you and your wind turbines.

I’m looking at the shares of BORN and find myself dumbfounded for not buying it this morning (it was on my list). Chuck Bennett is iBankCoin’s foremost expert on all things Chinese and liquor. Needless to say, he is a big fan of BORN‘s products.

If the election disappoints, the bottom will drop out tomorrow. A disappointment would equate to a large democratic win, by way of modest GOP victory. Get it? If the market shocks to the downside, there is no better ETF than VXX. As you know, I own it from a much higher price point; but remain long if only to quench my romantic sentimental values.

Into the bell, I am 75% long, 10% cash and 15% VXX (on the decline). My top holdings are not really serious, more like rentals. Longer term, I like FTK, FORM, CHNG (shout out to RC) and TEVA. Over the short run, I think HEAT, FUQI, SNIC, PWAV and other garbagio stocks can run. To be clear, I want nothing more than to see the auto-buyers get punished under a gripping and bone shattering decline. However, I cannot fight the bad fight alone. There needs to be a tipping point in the news flow that will stymie this rally. All we get is POMO this QE2 that, with little substance in between. I am without doubt that many momentum stocks are now in fatalistic bubbles and will hurt many, many unsuspecting investors. My long bias will remain as long as the irrational behavior persists.

NOTE: If you notice on the upper right hand side of the site, we have a live streaming CNBC stream. If available, I will stream a live FOX NEWS feed later, as FOX is the only NEWZ worth watching. God bless tea and parties too.

It’s very easy for me to post “crazy people” clips of prospective GOP candidates, in order to discount the movement. If you’ve been reading me for awhile, you know that I am politically indifferent. However, I fully support voting out all incumbents, even if it means voting in lunatics. The current roster of politicians are a disgrace to brains and should be escorted out of office in silver bracelets. I doubt there has ever been a time in this nations history when its representatives have been so inept/corrupt. Agreed?

A Republican victory ensures a slap in the face of incumbents. Furthermore, if things do not change, we will vote out all of the republicans, until they (the dogs who represent us) start to listen and enact the will of the people. There is an argument against “the people” by elitists who say “they don’t know anything. They are stupid.” That sort of thinking is what dictatorships are made from—total and complete rubbish.

Having said that, I am not an optimist, with regards to the Tea Party or any party for that matter. I just like seeing people get rebuked, then fired.

Gentlemen of America (I assume only men take the time to vote),

Past American generations had to fight wars and get their arms ripped from torso, caused by the friction between the treads of a tank and gravel. Other generations had to throw knives into eye sockets and burn down whole cities, in order to “restore peace.” All you need to do is VOTE REPUBLICAN and do so often, in order to restore America back to its former glory. It really is that simple, like a chia-pet. Apply votes to machine and voila, a brand new country will emerge.

It might seem funny to you, partly due to your democrat inspired public education; but it’s not a game anymore. Let’s all avoid armed revolt, for the love of homosexual baseball teams winning the World Series, just vote GOP. After all, are there any democrats hotter than Palin? I thought so.

Over the next 12 hours or so, iBC will be all about politics, rooting for America to regain freedom, in the form of House and Senate majority for the GOP. If you are a demoncat, your local abortion clinic will be shut down shortly. No, seriously, you will endure a heinous loss today, due to the fact that your parties leaders are mentally ill, unlike our leaders. We have strong future leaders like Sharron Angle, Carl Paladino and Christine O’Donnell, while you have a black panther in the White House. I kid, I kid.

Relax and enjoy the jargon from some of the GOP’s best.

Very soon iBankCoin will transform into a political chanting machine, whereby untold masses will swarm for cogent political analysis. They will leave dumb sites, like Hotair and DailyKos, for the flavor of our BBQ ribs and lemon iced-T (all readers will be mailed a free serving of ribs and Iced-t). The President himself, as doomed as he is, will read iBankCoin and order “Indeud” t-shirts, for his wife and kids.

Very soon, you will see what I am talking about.

Until that happens, this is still a first tier financial powerhouse, well deserving of its rank in the most noble of financial destinations.

As you can see, the votes are in and the dollar is worthless garbage. The world spits on our dollars, because the BEARDED CLAM (our true leader) is a traitorous pig. No really, he is just experimenting on us, like some shampoo lab rats, in order to increase our export markets via currency depreciation. At any rate, stocks love when the dollar goes down, mainly because equity investors are playing softball out there, always trying to take the easy way out. Plus anyway, this nation is filled with twinkie eating hedonists, who do not have the patience to wait for an economic recovery. A great man once said “it’s better to be early and wrong, then late and right.”

I am enjoying gains in MERU, PWAV, SNIC, FORM and CHNG, and expect to make a great deal of money in several others, as America votes out the Leninists.

Finally, Chinese lotto plays are ripping. Keep your eyes on OINK, ADY, CAGC and CMFO.

Just so you know, effective midnight, ALL iBC BLOGGERS, with exception to Woodshedder, Senator JakeGint and myself, will be locked out of the site, in order to make way for “election festivities.” What does this mean for you, the common folk?

Well, for one, it will means an education, in the arts of political science. Secondly, I will teach you all you need to know about freedom, AND MORE. The Honourable Fly will be presiding over you lowly aristocrats, as if he was passing judgment for the after life. Tomorrow’s elections will shape America for generations to come and effectively send those commy/scum bastards back to where they belong (country clubs, upscale mansions, high end resort areas with exotic women etc.).

I will teach you all you need to know about politics, with the trusty help of my left leaning comrades, Senator JakeGint and Holly WoodShedder.

If your primary concern is stocks/bonds/commodities etc, you are an idiot, for a guillotine with your name on it hangs in the balance. Today’s trade is worthless dog crap aka “mere child’s play”, while tomorrow’s vote is the treasury. My positions are set in stone, just up to the point where I shatter said stone with my bare fists and release them. You should know, my long positions are making me rich again, while VXX is just being silly ol’ VXX.

At any rate, prepare for the revolution, as if bowl a sugar was thrown into your face, in the midst of a beehive getting its face kicked in with a baseball bat.

Based upon the will of Tengri, I bought PWAV and CHNG.

Disclaimer: Trading ahead of elections may lead to quick decapitation.

Like gluttons in a room filled with decadent desserts, we want it all. Two years removed from such a “tragic and debilitating” recession, the markets are ripping to the upside. The market surge in 2009 was understandable, coming off the lows. However, what we are witnessing today is simply hedonism, stemming from a deep rooted sense of entitlement as a people. I say this without the taste of sour grapes, 75% long going into today’s trade.

We wanted our internet in 2000, until it crashed the economy. Then we didn’t like the internet. So, being the fickle little pickles that we are, we opted to put our money into real estate, fueled by cheap money and zero standards. When that gig was up, we walked away from our investments, without a care in the world. Hey, it wasn’t our problem. Blame those bastard bankers. But the bankers didn’t want to pay either. They said “we are too big to fail and it’s not our fault. Blame the politicians.” The politicians ate it up, partly thanks to all of the money they were getting from the banks, and bailed them out.

Everyone’s happy, right?

Not exactly.

Now everyone wants credit again, since the banks are flush with cash again. Hell, the politicians allowed them to hide their losses and they are getting free money from the Federal Reserve. We want free money too! But the bankers don’t want to lend us anymore money, since they have an easier gig: front running the Fed and buying treasuries with the money that the Fed gives them.

The people of America are outraged by this relationship and the politicians eat it up. They form “Tea Parties” and promise to return American back to its former glory. The people love that idea, especially because the current group of politicians are indolent jackasses. It’s a no-brainer.

But the people are still mad, watching their IRA’s and 401k’s go down. Miraculously, the market ignores all bad news and trades up big, spawning a new form of investor who is unafraid of risk. After all, if the Federal Reserve is handing out next to free money and China is growing at the scientific rate of 9.5% every quarter, hell, nothing can derail stocks.

Like the upright walking pigs that they are, asset managers pile into equities, without fear. They have no fear because it’s not their money at stake, just a bunch of blue collar retards from Dumbville, USA. The folks over at Dumbville are elated with their monthly account statements and begin to open up discount brokerage accounts to get a piece of the action, using discretionary income. They buy all sorts of stocks, like NFLX, AMZN, CRM, or whatever Cramer from CNBC is promoting on a given day. It doesn’t matter that the upright walking pigs, the politicians and the Fed got it wrong during the dot com era and during the collapse of the housing market; because “it’s different this time.”

And the circle of destruction continues…

We keep it classic here at iBankCoin. Try to avoid getting yourselves killed out there.