More Squeezing to Come

As the economy improves, life is only going to get worse for short sellers. See, you internet motherfuckers are trapped in some sort of bubble world, completely detached from reality and shit. Back in the real world, there are men at work, decked out in the finest burlap garments, shorting the shit out of stocks. By now, these fuckers are so embedded, so wrong, they have their dicks stuck in a clam and there is no way out but down. Meaning: they will endure the pain of a bull market, until they are out of business (eviscerated) or proven correct ( successful clam rape).

Either way, I still enjoy throwing jars of jelly (grape) at them, while making “space money” in my longs, like Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] and Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] —just to name a few.

At any rate, it’s important to remember how wrong these people are and how religious they are about their dogma.

What are we talking about here? We are talking about betting on numerous short only funds blowing the fuck up and checking themselves out of the business. Here are 10 heavily shorted stocks worth monitoring, courtesy of The PPT.

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , The McClatchy Company [[MNI]] , SuccessFactors, Inc. [[SFSF]] , [[CAB]] , Netflix, Inc. [[NFLX]] , American Superconductor Corporation [[AMSC]] , American Axle & Manufact. Holdings, Inc. [[AXL]] , [[RDN]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] and United States Steel Corporation [[X]] .

There are so many different ways to toss old people into dirty sewage pipes. However, none are better than doing it via an egregious short squeeze.

Trade accordingly.

Going for yet another $100 roll, I repurchased 5,000 W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] @ $98.75; and for a squeeze, I went long 3,000 Ethan Allen Interiors Inc. [[ETH]] @ $14.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your neighbors will spread false rumors about you and point fingers as you drive by. And, you may lose money.

Roll complete. I sold out of Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] @ $105.12.

On to the next one.

Developing…

Last night, while you were in a drunken state of sleep, “The Fly” was in his time machine—scouring for new stock ideas. Quite frankly, being up more than 12% for the year is not only appalling, it’s embarrassing (for you of course). Granted, the year just started a few days ago. Nevertheless, I have a keen interest in making my competition look foolish, like dogs dressed in cooking aprons and chef hats.

Who gives a shit about the jobs numbers? Please. This market is in decepticon mode, led by megatron and his fucking street cannon.

More on this later.

Top picks: Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]]

After a glorious day, I cannot disturb the order of things or the harmony—better known as my “winship”—with a wordy closing post. That shit is for amateurs and I am the BlogFather.

Moreover, I cannot blacken such a day with ridiculous gangster rap or heroin addled rock music videos either.

Instead, I leave you with this.

Indeud.

Top picks: Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]]

Off to do something special.

You little fuckers are Japan and I am Godzilla, stomping on your bullshit firetrucks, while eating large amounts of sushi. In my world, money is secondary. Gentlemen, I have not taken money out of my brokerage accounts for 10 years. As far as I’m concerned, it’s “space money,” not needed for Earthly things, only to be used as offerings to the Gods. Any clients that take money out are quickly fired and sent packing, so that they may enjoy “going it alone” at their local E-trade—where they can “blow the fuck up” for $8 per trade, or whatever the fuck they are charging these days.

It’s about the wins people, only the wins.

When you go to a liquor store and ask for a quality bottle of wine, there is a 99% chance you will be required to pay up for such a product. The same relationship is applied to the purchase of clothing, beluga caviar or even rib eye steaks. When you ask “Le Fly” to operate his coin factory for you, I will have you know, you will be required to pay up.

For the moment, I will put the lessons in life saga on the back burner and tell you what I am doing.

I bought some Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. [[MSO]] and Masco Corporation [[MAS]] , based upon crystal ball readings and gut feelings. Additionally, I threw three jars of grape jelly against the wall and none of them broke. As a result of this occurrence, I bought more Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] and Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] .

Be prepared for the market to break the fuck out. If you are inclined to remain short, be prepared to be dropped off the Empire State Building, onto an unmarked bag of grape jelly jars. My best guess, they will all break and so will you, fuckface.

I bought 35,000 Masco Corporation [[MAS]] , north of $15.10 and 20,000 Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. [[MSO]] , north of $5.10.

I’m on fucking fire now. Get the fuck out of my way.

I sold out of Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , north of $100.50 and Lennar Corporation [[LEN]] , north of $15.12.

On to the next one.

You bastards just got “clown raped” betting against me on Lennar Corporation [[LEN]] and Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] . Believe me, I know what’s going on here. I understand that thousands of you, secretly, root for my demise. You try to expedite it via short selling my positions, hoping it will send me back to Brooklyn with pizza sauce on my face. Well I have news for you, fuckface, I’m never going back to that shit hole and you Sir just got raped by a clown, by way of Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] and Lennar Corporation [[LEN]] spring boarding higher this morning.

What’s next?

Well, I have another bullet proof idea, which will be put into motion upon the market opening.

Pre-market, the dollar is up and the futures are off a little. However, don’t let that fool you, jig-saw face; we’re going higher today. We shall climb to new heights and attempt to fly this rocket, made from 100% dynamite, into the fucking Sun itself, AND SURVIVE!

I have things to do now, enemies to attack.

Developing…

Aside from your blue chip portfolio of Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] and Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , consider buying utter bullshit, in an effort to strike gold.

With my money, I like homebuilders and companies that benefit from the perception of a homebuilder recovery, such as Masco Corporation [[MAS]] , Lennar Corporation [[LEN]] and Lumber Liquidators, Inc. [[LL]] . Also, I like education stocks, some of 2009’s biggest losers. Names like Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] , Apollo Group, Inc. [[APOL]] , Career Education Corp. [[CECO]] and [[LOPE]] intrigue me to the point where I am buying and doing so in size.

Within commodities, there are so many names worth shooting at. Please see The PPT for easy navigation of said names.

All in all, the first week of January is going extraordinarily well. Look for the gains to continue into early next week before a pullback ensues.