BEARS CAVE STOMPED IN EARLY TRADING

I guess Meredith Whitney was right: don’t short banks into earnings, especially since they are being gifted money. It’s not a secret, my FAZ/SRS/SSG/SCO/FXP positions are being blow the fuck up, under a cloud of happiness and sheer joy—all thanks and praise to the King of the House of Saud.

At this stage, I just have to endure the needles in my eyeballs, until a brighter day of gloom and doom is upon us. With that in mind, I shall endeavor to take profits on the myriad of crap stocks populating my portfolios.

On a day like this, extreme melt up, we are unlikely to weaken and trade lower. My best guess, this fucker boot stomps the bears all the way to the closing bell. At the present, I am scouring the market for some swing longs and will execute a few in short order.

Bottom line: If you got caught short banks or anything else for that matter, only a miracle of disaster can save you now. The full wrath of men in pink leotards, “playing the bottom,” will make further inroads into your purse, if you’re not careful.

UPDATE: For the record, it’s rather odd to see the dollar up on a day like this. It goes against the laws of “fuck you, you’re dead” rallies.

UPDATE II: I sold out of [[GU]] at $2.40

I know a guy who knows a guy who cuts the hairs out of a certain King’s ears. This hard working man is shuttled from NY to Paris, then tossed onto a private jet to a middle eastern King, who pays him to cut the hairs out of his ears.

That’s fuck you money.

Speaking of which, while Obama was busy genuflecting to the Terrorist King, readying to suck his turban for a little Saudi cash, the assholes here at home approved TARP funds for life insurance companies.

Let me get this straight: life insurance companies take their premiums and make malinvestments in the stock market and/or make fucked up loans to fucked up businesses (CRE, C&I, C&D), then we (the taxpayers) are obligated to guarantee their losses? Are you fucking kidding me?

Next up, pension funds. I know someone that manages a billion for a certain pension. Last year, they were busy high fiving each other, at their annual Christmas party, for beating the S&P (“the benchmark”) by 5%. They were down 30%+. Great fucking news for them, no doubt—not so much for Joey Bag O’ Retirements.

Pensions across America, both private and public, are insolvent. They have lost so much money in the stock market; they will be forced to accept Federal dollars over the coming months.

How much you ponder?

The Government will likely “donate” $1-2 trillion dollars, minimum, in order to guarantee losses—thanks to all of the ridiculously stupid pension fund managers.

This country faces a tsunami of losses— and the Federal Reserve’s printing presses will not have enough ink to cover all losses. What is taking place here, without pulling any punches, is outright criminal and only supported by charlatans, like Cramer, who have a vested interest in promoting such egregious activities.

Regardless of what the stock market does in the near future, we, the tax paying moron, will pay for the transgressions of the people we despise. New York state is raising taxes on rich folk: fuck New York. Time to move out. The Federal government wants more tax dollars: fuck them too—find a loophole.

In short, bow down and kiss the feet of the CEO’s of any major bank, for they are your masters.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7IQB8GXb7g 450 300]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gJtIss7xso&feature=related 450 300]

This country is without honour. Therefore, its underlying stock market, where men high on cocaine do business daily, operates without dignity and a moral compass. It is, mind you, without virtue.

Today, investors circle jerked around the merger of two losers: [[PHM]] and [[CTX]], as if it means anything. And, people went long low quality trash, rather swimmingly, all day long.

As you know, “The Fly” is long his share of bullshit names, such as [[PKD]], [[LDK]], [[AMKR]] amongst others. Naturally, into the bell commercial Re stocks enjoyed a “WTF moment,” sending SRS reeling. I am fucking sick and tired of the asshole hell ride this etf is on.

Fly moves of note: sold out [[ISIL]], [[WRI]]. Bought LDK, PKD, FAZ, ERX, AMKR and [[TER]].

Long 10,000 [[LDK]] around $7.60 into the bell, a Ragin’ special.

According to the Fed minutes, times are tough. As a result, this mornings rally has dissipated into the closet of Merlin “The Bull Killer.”

Let me explain my strategy:

I am buying low priced outliers, while shorting main stream banks, semiconductors, crude and REIT’s. Best case scenario, my little off radar stocks will hold value, while the market plummets. Or, if the market rips higher, my small cappers will zoom higher, effectively canceling out losses in my shorts. My overall bias is to be short. But, I will use all available cash (12%) in order to catch some swing trades, if needed.

Into rips, I will sell some longs. Conversely, into dips, I will take profits on my shorts.

Let me make this perfectly clear: there is no scenario, barring a positive GDP, that will make me bullish in 2009. My default will always be to short stocks. However, I am not stupid and do not like being on the receiving end of a short squeeze. I will get long when needed.

Understand something, “The Fly” roams around his office, decked out in white robes and sandals aka “the wardrobe of the Gods”; he is creating “art,” not portfolios, on a daily basis—for the sake of humanity aka “the people who are lucky enough to know him.” Whatever the fuck you are doing, I am not. My buys and sells are done, methodically, in order to create a pastiche of harmony, all done in a very dignified, honorable manner.

Into the bell, I will be long [[PKD]], [[TER]], [[AMKR]], [[EZCH]], [[CIEN]], [[TLT]], [[ISIL]], [[STAR]], [[GU]], [[WRI]] [[SRS]], [[FAZ]], [[SCO]] and [[SSG]] and short [[ACC]]

I am winning, yet again!

UPDATE: I sold out of my WRI position @ $11.75.

UPDATE II: I sold out of my ISIL position, north of $12.90.

UPDATE III: I bought 2,000 ERX @ $25.05.

I bought 20,000 [[AMKR]] @ $3.30, 10,000 [[TER]] @ $4.87 and 40,000 [[PKD]] @ $2.27.

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 FAZ @ $17.87.

Disclaimer: If you buy any of the above stocks because of this post, the next time you are out for a jog, a pack of wild dogs will chase you . And, you may lose money.

Pardon my tardiness. I was on a reconnaissance mission with some of my Somali pirate friends.

Someone just threw a hand grenade at my [[SCO]] position. I knew I would be early to the trade, as evidenced by PPT’s sell rating. I will buy more on dips.

So you fucking losers are having a grand ball, readying up for Cramer’s 1,000th show. Let’s all celebrate over a dish of waterbugs and rice.

Stocks are ripping higher, based upon the idea that the SEC will restrict short selling. Well, in my opinion, that would be horrific news for stocks, since short sellers provide a bid in a bidless market. Nonetheless, I am glad that I did not sell all of my longs.

I know what I am about to say will jinx me; but it’s worth noting, SRS, SSG, FAZ and short [[ACC]] are not gapping away from me today. The losses are rather limited.

Into this rally, I will refrain from adding to shorts. With some of my cash, I may buy some chips, namely [[TER]] and [[AMKR]].

NOTE: The insurance sector is now qualified for TARP funds. Some companies that were not, made some emergency bank acquisitions, in order to sucker punch the U.S. tax payer in the throat. As a result, the biggest dogs are running, namely: [[GNW]], [[PFG]], [[PL]], [[HIG]], [[PNX]], [[AFL]], [[SFG]], [[UNM]], [[AIZ]] and [[TMK]].

Rarely do I ransack the repository for resources, without wrangling with retards. The ruction that ensues, following my rally, always ratifies the recovery of rare artifacts of estimable riches. Upon such said roaring triumphs, “The Fly” rakishly ruins his rattish rivals, roisterously rolling over ribbon wearing rabbits, while routinely chewing on a roll gorged with rare radishes and red robster.

ROFL, indeud.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOoCixFA8OI&feature=related 450 300]