No Happy Ending

Oh well, you cannot say “The Fly” did not try to be bullish.

Ladies and Gentleman, the bull market of 2009 is over, despite only lasting 2 hours. As you sit there, in your Chinese outfit, sipping on disgusting black tea, you lose money.

Naturally, my Chinese securities are still green (CHL, WX, JRJC, FXI). You might ponder or wonder in amazement, “Mr. Fly, how is that so?” I would tell you, if it didn’t require me punching a jelly donut into your fucking face.

The banks and the CRE shall and will be punished through large capital losses.

People I know, in the business of shorting stocks to zero are pointing their guns at stocks like MAC, KIM or even SLG. Let it be known, “The Fly” aka Senor Tropicana aka HORATIO CLAWHAMMER is having a glorious day, with his longs up shorts down.

To summarize my day in one blog post would be disrespectful to the laws of reason and honour. All of you bottom picking motherfuckers are about to get an early burial.

I am “ostrich trading” today, ignoring the news, buying the orient.

Thus far, I’ve built up decent CHL/FXI positions. Now, in an unbelievable twist of events, I am buying JRJC, and a little WX (thin trading), with several others on the soon to be bought list.

I know the news is bad and I am still saddled with lots of short positions. However, for today, I feel like throwing a few old dudes under moving buses.

Some of my long positions include: MT, BUCY, PFE, MOS, CLX and even a little MVIS.

Sometimes life throws unhittable curve balls at you. It is my job to kick the catcher in the chest, throw dirt in his face, then proceed to take first on a passed ball.

As for the banks:

Sure, they’re fucked. But don’t tell that to the idiots buying GS up at these levels. Those guys are serious about losing money.

In short, get drunk and buy a few chicoms.

I bought 10,000 JRJC, just south of $9.30.

UPDATE: I bought 1,000 WX @ $5.62 (tester position)

Disclaimer: If you buy JRJC or WX because of this post, the next time you visit China a tank will run you over. And, you may lose money.

Finally, we have someone to do the news on iBankCoin. His column is not officially up on the front page yet. However, we will have it all set up by tonight.

I give you CRONKITE.

The point of his blog is to deliver the news, sort of like Fox News without all the fair and balanced shit. He is an industry pro with more experience than all of you assholes combined. If you have any news tips or suggestions, feel free to drop him a note.

Another win for the Godly folks at iBankCoin.

As I sit here, drinking copious amounts of vino, like a fucking catholic priest, an epiphany hit me like a bag of rocks under a busy overpass: buy China.

Just do it. There are so many laughable reasons to spit on their graves, stemming from their make believe shopping malls to their hilarious unemployment problems. Just know this: most riots will be met with tank shells being lobbed into small villages.

My bearishness is so ridiculous right now, I am my own contrary indicator. For fucks sake, the world isn’t ready to end yet. I haven’t even advertised iBankCoin on CNBC yet, talking shit about Mark Haines and his fat fucking stomach. And, I have yet to sky dive into a giant bowl of jello.

Plus, Howard is writing books and shit. I am a much better writer than he is, as everyone north of Atlantis knows.

So, where am I am going with this post? For all you know, I could be fucking with you, writing this shit as a joke, in order to sucker punch some of you with poisonous peanut butter sandwiches.

No, seriously speaking, I will commit X amount of dollars to “Chinese fuckery,” mainly because it makes me feel like a sophisticated “man of the orient.” I wear the garb and talk the language, when ordering food on the phone; I might as well “go all in” and buy up millions of dollars in equities too.

Here are some stocks in my shopping carton:

CHL, CSKI, YZC, COGO, LFC, NTE, CHA, STV, WX and EDU.

NOTE: There will be more “Chinese Burritos” worth perusing, many, many more.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWQWTZVWVZs&feature=channel_page 450 300]

Men with burlap shirts bought a variety of stocks today, mainly to “test the waters” and fish for a market bottom. Unfortunately, those same men will soon become victim to gruesome financial castration, as the deflationary vortex settles in.

Mind you, I’ve been buying “all things Chinese,” as of late. However, I do so, not necessarily to curry favour [sic] with a certain Chinese official, but instead to take advantage of wholesale, and rapid, Chinese fuckery.

Only a grande [sic] country like China can seemingly buck the current trends, with up equities in a down equity world. Having the great displeasure of being cursed with gifts of insane investment skills, “The Fly” is forced to hedge his short bets with longs.

Just to recap: the market tricked lots of people into egregious long positions today. Under the surface, STI, GE and BAC are in grave danger of credit downgrades, which in turn will cause sheer panic on Wall Street.

Life is like a game of scratch off lotto. Every once in awhile, it makes sense to buy a bottle of Snapple Iced-T instead. However, I’ll have you know, this is not one of those times.

NOTE: Ignore all “bitch of a whores” on CNBC.

NOTE II: Internet guru, investment genius, Howard Lindzon has a new book out: “The WallStrip Edge.” If any of you are interested in building a web venture, I strongly suggest buying this book. Despite Howard paying me to write this, the book is a good read.

I bought 2,000 CHL @ $45.37.

Despite pervasive weakness in the banks, stocks are offering a respite to the bulls, via a 1.5% spike. Leadership is widespread, minus banks. However, the biggest gains can be found in the metals, specifically RTP, RIO, RS and MT, just to name a few.

In my opinion, Chinese stocks offer a wonderful “Costanza” trade here. As you know, I am long FXI and CHL. In addition, COGO, YZC, EDU, STV and MR look decent, down at these levels.

On the short side, I continue to hold onto my lotto tickets (SRS, DUG, ERY, FAZ), in an effort to, well, hit the lotto.

Just know this: the market cannot run without the banks. So, this rally is very suspect. However, there is room for some “bounceable” upside here. If forced to pick a bank, through knife or gun point, I’d buy BLK, with a tight stop at $103, in order to play a potential bank rally and hedge other bank shorts.

There’s no action today. I find myself, unamused by the whimsical movements of the Dow, I’ll have you know.

Personally, I am simply waiting for the bond holders of banks to get wiped out, amidst government sponsored cram downs. Oh the glory of such a scene should only be reserved for the very best, with the deepest and most prestigious gene pool. The looks on their (bondholders) stupid faces, when they receive an egregious government notice, via certified mail, will be endlessly priceless.

As an aside, it appears our rotten to the core government is trying, mind you, to steal a trillion dollars in a bill called “stimulus.” If it wasn’t bad enough that these motherless whores stole $1 trill during the Iraq war, over a period of 6 years; now, they’re are attempting to hasten up the process by stealing the next trillion in 1 week.

What a land of opportunity.

There is no stimulus in the stimulus bill. I find that rather peculiar and quite odd.

As for the today’s tape:

Thus far, I am having a Michael Phelps day, including the weed. In my world, all of those gold medals, plus a joint, is good living. Anyway, I am long SRS, DUG, ERY, FXI, CHL, MT, BUCY and FAZ.

While it’s true, “The Fly” has other positions, most of them are too small to matter. Plus anyway, I try to remain focused on this here blog, in order to cram down my thoughts for those with low intelligence quotients.

Bottom line: A very bad sell off is nearing. Put the dog in the barn and the kids in the basement. It’s about to get Zach Karabell ugly up in this piece.