My Chair is Better Than Yours

Early this morning, I sold out of my EEV position. As you already know, I added to both SWHC and RGR positions.

Look, I am trying to get long, without feeling a sense of misery about doing so. I can’t sit here, with a straight face, and buy AA or BAC and tell you “they are possible bounce plays.”

I’m done trying to catch idiotic bounces in shitty names. I am up for the year (12%), while everyone else is near death. I was up nearly 60% last year, while people in my industry got annihilated. I must be doing something right.

I am starting to see some real anecdotal evidence that the economy is in trouble, from a NYC perspective. Business owners that I know are unable to get loans, despite having millions in collateral. And, good people are being laid off.

By the way, in case you were unaware, the yen (FXY) is getting cremated today, which in turn is helping stocks. Call me a banana salesman if you must, but if it’s not gun related, I’m not buying stocks.

I have approximately 55% in cash and loathe the notion of being fully invested. As a matter of fact, I may never go “all in” again.

For fuck’s sake, old fuckers in wheeled chairs lost all of their retirement savings, investing through Bill Miller at LM. I’m over here, like a fucking Saint, doing the Lord’s work and for what?

I get to enjoy the pleasantries of DEVILDOG and other losers. The life of a Blog Father.

In short, I have many tricks up my sleeve, with regards to commercial Re. So you know, tonight, I will be posting an article, exclusive to PPT (fuck you it took time and money to build it), on the cre market and what names can—go—all-the—way.

I bought 20,000 SWHC @ $3.20 and 5,000 RGR @ $7.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, ironically, you will get shot. And, you may lose money.

Aside from SWHC and RGR, CAB could see some further upside, as people get their guns and hunting equipment ready.

Look, I love shit like this. It doesn’t take much to get me in a store, shopping for “survival gear.” We all know, deep down, it’s a crock of shit. But fads die slow.

Anyway, I can’t get behind gold here. The very notion of buying something with a gold brick is very, very foreign to me. If someone tried to buy something from me, using a gold brick, I’d punch his mustache off.

Just saying.

Today will likely be a bounce day, ahead of Obama’s big speech. Nonetheless, I am not really motivated to go long in any size. I might buy a little CAB, only because it’s insane and I like shit like that. And, I still like SWHC and RGR.

Bottom line: quit trying to catch bottoms, fucktard. All of the banks and basic material stocks are too hot to handle. If you want to play the long side, delve into “non-toxic” sectors, like guns or drugs.

NOTE: If oil stocks go lower again today, I may cover my shorts.

Tonight, I saw Cramer on tv lying about why the market is going down again. You know, it’s real easy to blame short sellers, via SKF purchases (how absurd and laughable), for bringing down this financial system we call “capitalism.” Then again, this is not capitalism, but gangsterism.

Nonetheless, it’s not me and my friends buying 20,000 SKF, market order, with a $10 stop, that is causing the meltdown—trust me. Quit fucking lying to people, jackass, then maybe your bullshit stock price will get above $3.

SHAME ON THE HOUSE OF CRAMER.

The reason why we are in this situation is because the growth we have enjoyed, over the last 20 years or so, was built upon a lie. It was financed by vultures, who are now holding the entire tax base hostage.

The reason why GM, F, AIG, C, BAC, MS or any other piece of shit is not allowed to fail is because of the bond holders. They own this country, from the top down. They own trillions of dollars in corporate and treasury debt. They are the people or entities who have financed and will continue to finance our lifestyles and/or stupid shit.

Without them, this country would be forced to start making our own shit, because China would be like “get the fuck out of here with those bullshit dollars.”

Let truth be told, Bill Gross and his fucking friends need to voluntarily step up and tell C, BAC and GE that they will take a 60% haircut on their bonds, in order to save America. But they will never do that.

All they care about, all anyone cares about is themselves. So why should we act any differently?

I should stop paying my mortgage.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXpBugFT7R8 450 300]

Don’t try to paint this fucking pig; we’re about to crash through the floorboards. The Government just threw away $150 billion in AIG and are on the verge of making themselves look totally inept, as opposed to ambiguously gay.

I want to short oil stocks, via DUG/ERY, until XOM prints $55. You know I hate Commercial Re; however, I want better prices, before initiating shorts. One name worth shooting at right now is STC—big stupid title insurance company.

On the long side, I like guns—lots of them. I’ve been buying SWHC and RGR, figuring if we head towards civil unrest, loads of egregious Southern gentlemen, like Woodshedder, will head over to their local gun stores.

The country is hemlocked in a way that cannot be reversed. Years of reckless spending and stupid Congressmen have finally fucked the world for good.

America, it is time to pay that fucking piper, else get “KARABAELL’D” to death, amidst fascinatingly obvious capital losses.

NOTE: Those of you who signed up for The PPT, tonight I will post my top 10 positions, with a few other thoughts on commercial Re.

NOTE II: As predicted, the scamsters at MOS, POT and AGU got lumped today. That’s all.

What’s the end game, you ponder? Well for me, it’s all about food and guns. Get your food game up and your gun game ready.

Here in NY, next thing you know, homeless men are eating your best friends brains, like Night of the Living Dead. I am well prepared for such events, with a portable safe, stacked with 30k in cash and 50k in precious gems. And, I have a large bin, ready for mobile usage, filled with food.

“The Fly” all all about winning, even when the country is losing. So, it’s my duty, as a patriot, to keep the “The Fly’s” state of perpetual “winship” intact, if you know what I mean.

Frankly, I’m making a bundle in my oil shorts. XOM is worth $50 tops, with oil down here. Fuck what Cramer says, that son of a bitch trades lower.

I don’t have the balls to get short down here, in any real size. Instead, I intend to build upon my 9% YTD gains, through smaller trades.

At the present, I like short oil/long guns.

I bought 25,000 SWHC around $3 and 5,000 RGR @ $6.77 ish.

Disclaimer: If you buy RGR and SWHC because of this post, when the revolution begins, you will find yourself gunless. And, you may lose money.

Believe me, I am not going to turn this classy joint into some sort of fucked up internet infomercial for my “premium products.” We worked really hard on developing and rolling out the product. So, I had to give it a little face time.

For those of you who signed up, thank you very much. For those of you who did not, you are now my enemies.

As for this tape:

The assholes in the government are fucking brain dead. The market says “BOOOO!” to the Citi deal, mainly because we all know C is dead. On top of that, we have a serious problem in the commercial Re space.

I am telling you now, the mess in Commerical Re is going to make the banks look like a fucking 3 year olds birthday party. What the fuck are they going to do with all of those damn buildings?

Once again, shorting ESS, FRT, MAC and SLG makes sense. Just so you know, I gave a few new picks in The PPT and I will have no intention of sharing them here.

Don’t mind me, I’m just being an asshole.

With my money, I want to lean on the euro here, via DRR. As for my longs: none of them are really significant or worthy to speak of.

I am not buying or selling anything, as tempting as it is. The only thing I am fixing to do is bring cash levels up to 60%, while gingerly adding, on occasion, to my robust ERY/DUG positions.

Let me know how I did. Thanks.