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Monthly Archives: December 2009

Market Update For You Homeschoolers

Just in case you are listening to bearish bores, who incessantly flood the market with misinformation, these are the facts:

The banks are not good investments, mainly because they are impaired. Some of them do better than others. However, for the most part, in recent months, they have been a waste of time. With that being said, thanks to a variety of reasons, there is a distinct chance they will explode to the upside shortly, fueled by people who are leaning the wrong way.

Commodity related stocks are trending higher for two reasons: real growth in Asia and dollar weakness. At some point, the dollar will stop going lower, which will kneecap the price of gold. However, if growth continues to strengthen, industrial commodities will continue to be bought in size.

Technology stocks have led the way higher, during this recent bull stampede. In total, corporations have more than $800 billion in cash, which can be used for mergers and acquisitions, dividends, buybacks or rainy day accounts. It is my belief, at the moment, we will see m&a activity explode into mid 2010, offering a new catalyst for higher stocks.

Frankly, you need to understand, what worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. Basing your investment philosophy around the dollar is stupid. Granted, it has been an effective indicator, especially over the last 6 months or so. However, over time, stocks decouple from currencies and trade on fundamentals.

If you are wondering what will drive stocks higher over the next two weeks, I will tell you: Santa Claus/end of year window dressing. If you are curious about what can drive equities higher over the next three months, I will tell you: m&a activity, share buybacks and continued improvement in the economy, including employment. If you want a 6-12 mo prediction, go visit a fucking psychic; because that shit is all guess work.

Fun Fact, courtesy of JPM: Out of the last 19 bull markets lasting 9 months or more, 95% of them continued to trade higher over the next 12 months.

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Belligerency Will Return Shortly

Some of you little shit-fuckers are misconstruing “Holiday Fly’s” jovial demeanor as a weakness. As Fly runs around town, playing Santa Claus for his immediate family, you little pricks are getting uppity. Let me tell you something now: I will rip out your fucking livers and eat them (pate) for breakfast. I will have your mustache punched off and your kidney’s donated to some illegal Mexican in California. Don’t fuck with me: you have been warned.

Speaking of being warned, I told you grizzle eating motherfuckers this market was going “BROKEN ROBOT” into the New Year. SHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone; but we’re going to pole vault into 2010, like racing camels in the hot desert sun running towards a mirage.

By the way, I defeated Cramer with my Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] call. And, I will vanquish all of you clowns who are betting against me in Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] .

Top picks: Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MomyXHdGYE 616 500]

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Just Another Day at the Office

There is no need to brag any longer. The wins keep rolling in and the glory, well, who needs it?

Take a look at this:

POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , [[CBD]] , [[MWW]] , Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] ,  SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]], U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] and [[HEAT]] .

Do you see that shit? Yeah, I own all of them.

See pal, that’s the type of day I am having, how about you?

Hey, don’t hate on me. It’s not like I don’t warn you and disclose all of my buys and sells. You fuckers just think you are better than me. When reality hits, like a scorned old maid in her late 40’s, you get all flustered and shit, lashing out at the guy in the time machine. Instead of hating on me, why don’t you shoot yourself in the face with a howitzer?

The Exxon Mobil Corporation [[XOM]] for XTO Energy Inc. [[XTO]] deal is incredibly bullish for oil and gas stocks and m&a in general. The fees are back and the investment banks are cool again. Nonetheless, I have no interest in buying bank stocks.

For the remainder of the day, the market will induce strokes and seizures in people who have large short positions.

Santa Claus is coming, motherfuckers.

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Asshat of the Decade Award: U.S. Congress

morons

Fucking Morons, Asshats of the Decade, 2000-present

It’s that time of the decade again: iBC presents “The Asshat of the Decade Award.”

I know some of you republican motherfuckers will point fingers at the democrat cocksuckers (pun intended!), regarding the misery that was inflicted on this fat nation and who is to blame—over the past 10 years. From banking deregulation, y2k asshattery to bailouts and absurd military tactics, this country is being led by a multitude of asshats, who must find pleasure in ruining this nation, mainly for shits and gay giggles.

The disaster, better known as “the stock market,” has fucked up America’s mojo over the past 10 years, thanks to a variety of bubbles, coupled with absolute lunatic fringe spending sprees by our elected officials. It is emblematic of how retarded this country has become, no offense to firemen of course.

Many of you will argue that the “Asshat of the Decade Award” should go to a single man/woman, like George Bush, Greenspan, O’bama or even Barney Frank. However, taking a step back and looking at the whole “pastiche,” I can honestly say those assholes fucked us up something awful AS A TEAM!! Great fucking job bozos. My family and I are looking forward to paying another 10 years of taxes to support this bullshit brand of “capitalism,” that has perversely  ricocheted around the world like a fucking plague attached to ping-pongs.

Everything Congress touches turns to shit AND MORE (if that makes any sense to you, GOOD LUCK).

It’s funny to see some of you monkeys argue for one party over another, as if it made a difference. It’s like one big circus act, with the American people (dressed as clowns) sitting in fun house styled dunk tanks— as their elected officials stuff their fat fucking faces with sausage and pepper heroes— tossing baseballs at them. The only difference between a whimsical carnival and the game Congress plays is: the carnival clown gets back up on the bench after being dunked. On the other hand, we get swallowed whole by gay sharks, dressed in Armani suits, smoking filter-less cigarettes covered in asbestos, sipping on over sized cups of Venti Mocha Frappachinos.

Fuck you very much Congress and congratulations for winning the Asshat of the Decade Award; you most certainly have earned it!

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Gold is For Traitors

Support your country: go long dollars.

Actually, you can go long dollars; I will continue to buy other things, like coffee, oil/natty and Chinese slavery plays.

Asshat of the Decade Award coming soon to a blog near you.

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A Decade for Dicks

With 2009 winding down and CNBC reminiscing over “The Bubble Decade,” I thought it would be helpful to some of you new-jacks to understand what it was like to be part of “A Decade for Dicks.”

In the late 1990’s, my business started to take-off. I was an early investor in a lot of internet stocks and the future looked bright. I had the energy of a coked out race horse and the stock market was my track. By late 1999, the market had gone fucking bananas. During that time, if your company announced that it had launched a website—just a fucking web address—that news would buoy shares anywhere from 10-100%—in a single day. Back then, before trading was done on the internet, my trades had to be submitted via old school order tickets. My partner and I would spend hours just filling out those fucking stupid tickets, in anticipation of monster runs in the market. Needless to say, our hands hurt from writing so much, as stocks—literally—disregarded all laws of reason and began to trade on sheer insanity.

I couldn’t go to lunch, from 1999-2001, for a variety of reasons. During the boom, going to lunch meant missing out on killer trades. I’m not talking 100,000 shares up a buck. Stocks sprinted back then. Stocks like CMGI, Inc. [[CMGI]] and VERT, both positions of mine back then, went up 100’s of points inside of a few short months. I remember buying QUALCOMM, Inc. [[QCOM]] at $1,000 per share, just before their odd-ball stock split. Whenever a stock was mentioned on CNBC, with regards to their internet exposure, that fucking stock took off. There was so many different ways to skin the cat. If you were a trader/broker/investor back then and missed out, you should shoot yourself in the face with a fucking grenade launcher, right now.

However, like everything in life, all good things end badly. When the bubble popped in 2000, my face was lit aflame; and as a result, I lost millions. Personally, I was losing like 10k per hour. The margin clerk was my mortal enemy, due to her insistence that I sell out by 2:30pm, or chalk up some dough. Fucking bitch. The problem that I had, not too uncommon with my stubborn personality type, was a severe case of hubris. I could not accept the fact that I was on the losing end of so many trades. When the internet bubble popped, it fucking popped bad, taking out an entire class of assholes with internet dreams—to the woodshed— AND MORE. All of the stocks that were trading at $200+ came crashing down to fucking zero, without rest. It was surreal.

One of my favorite memories was cutting a large personal check for a margin call at 11:00am, only to see it vanish by 4:00. Easy come, easy go.

I was absolutely staggered by the whole experience. After the 9/11 induced nosedive, I pledged to NEVER buy a Nasdaq stock again, as it was my belief that tickers with more than 3 letters represented evil. The market was so bad; it was almost comical. My friends and I would just leave the office in disgust, in favor of beers and chicken wings, on many occasions.

Shortly after, I began rebuilding my business, based around distressed debt and preferred bank shares. It was a boring way of life; but it gave me peace of mind. When the market bottomed in late 2002, I had a war chest built up in ultra-conservative bonds and preferred securities. I had to make a massive adjustment out of old man investments, back into the fire aka “technology stocks.”

Despite pledging to “NEVER buy Nasdaq stocks again,” by mid 2003, I was knee deep in the shit, long Amkor Technology, Inc. [[AMKR]] , MEMC Electronic Materials, Inc. [[WFR]] and Broadcom Corporation [[BRCM]] in size. Stocks like Nortel, which was priced for bankruptcy in 2002, took off like gangbusters in 2003, making lucky investors fortunes in the process. Thanks to the Federal Reserve pumping liquidity into the markets, stocks were back in play again. However, underneath the surface, another bubble was brewing—this time in housing.

From 2004 to 2007, there was a relative calm in the markets. A lot of people thought we were experiencing some sort of “economic Renaissance” or a “Goldilocks economy,” when in fact it was all bullshit. Because of my personal wealth destruction in 2000-2001, when the real estate bubble popped in late 2007-early 2008, Senor Tropicana was prepared, as you well know. In 2008, I sold short just about every investment bank and every regional bank located in California—all documented here on the site. Subsequently, I cleaned house.

The lesson to be learned from this decade is: we are all dicks. Nothing will change, because greed will never dissipate. I am cynical for a reason, stemming from my lack of faith in human emotions, which is why I am S.A.M. (space alien magician). I see people making the same errors today that were concocted 10 years ago. Small start-ups are being built to flip, instead of operating as a profitable businesses, etc.

Believe you me, over the next 10 years, we will be tricked into believing some sort of lie. We will all buy into an asset class or an investment theme, thinking “this time is different”; but it always ends the same.

Tread carefully.

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A Natural Rally

We are on the cusp of a glorious run in natural gas, as America gets buried alive in frozen water. This winter is going to be so stupid, so cold; if you are not careful, you are going to freeze your cocks off. Two thousand ten will be known as “The Year of the Blizzard,” with the global warming crowd getting the sharper end of the icicle to their faces. Natural gas drillers have been capping wells for years now, attempting to save themselves from assured bankruptcy. Eventually, the supply and demand imbalances will even out and the commodity will sprint higher.

I believe we are at such a crossroad.

As you know, I’ve been buying SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] and ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] . And, sadly enough, I own a fucking truckload of Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] .

Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] is also very high on my buy list.

That’s all. I don’t need to inundate you idiots with too many strategies. Believe you me, I know 50% of you stop reading after the first paragraph.

In short, I am making a market call to be long natural gas and Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] was up more than 2.75% today, while gold sucked moose balls.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63VTXMBeC8Q&feature=related 616 500]

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Fly Buy: ATPG, SD, MTL, GMCR and PKX

I bought 2,000 Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] @ $63.10, 2,000 ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] @ $16.10, 5,000 SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] @ $8.42, 5,000 Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] @ $18 and 1,000 POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] @ $122.75.

Disclaimer: Don’t follow, just watch.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLAA5IRbZZI 616 500]

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Betting Against Me is Pure Madness

Brother Jake is a true gentleman. He is smart, successful in business and in life, being blessed with a large family. Howsoever, he has run astray with his wild eyed, and entirely unchecked, actions—betting against me without motive. The coffee wars shall be won in the kitchen Mr. Jake, where hot liquids percolate at 192 degrees. It’s hot enough to drink, yet cold enough to avoid 3rd degree burns. If you would just take a moment to appraise the situation for what it is, you might take a different course of action. You are betting against a man who cruises in space ships at night, while you dream of smelters and advanced mining equipment.

It’s not too late for you to renege and turn away from the treacherous path you now travel.

On Jupiter’s Stone, the markets shall climb again, bringing forth vast fortunes, especially to shareholders of a particular coffee machine maker.

Let’s move on from this impasse and consider the grave ramifications of an iBC Civil War. I will remind you that the North is exceedingly efficient at routing out its overzealous brethren of the South.

As an aside, I like Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , Century Aluminum Company [[CENX]] , [[YONG]] , [[HEAT]] and [[MWW]] , at these levels.

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