Host: Next up a 5 star fund manager who thinks the market is ready to bottom. His 5 star flagship fund is down more than 75% year to date and he thinks stocks are cheap. Tell me, what do you like, what are you buying?
Guest: Well, on a price to book ratio, all stocks are extremely cheap here. We’ve been buying down here, for what we consider a buy of a lifetime. We like all stocks.
Host: Really? What do you hear out there? What are people saying?
Guest: Well, they’re not happy. Most of our clients have been torpedoed for their entire life savings, so it’s hard to tell. Our take at The Fucktard Funds is that stocks represent a better value than all other asset classes, including real estate, currencies, bonds and collectibles.
Host: Really? A lot of your critics say that you’re just plain ol’ vanilla gay and that your fund is some sort of sinkhole for America. What do you say to those critics?
Guest: Well, I have to say, we think they are wrong. If you look back, from the 1700’s, no market, in the history of markets, has gone down this much and not went back up. We at The Fucktard Funds think it is time to buy.
Host: Tell us, what stocks look good to you? There must be so many stocks that you like. I mean, even GE is in the single digits. We all know they are not going anywhere. What do you like?
Guest: We like GE and all of the big industrial names. We want to be long early cycle plays and buy them until our clients go blind. It really is a great time to have cash. We also like China. Anything related to China is as good as oxygen on planet Mars.
Host: Whoo, hoo! Finally we have a guest with a little spunk. We’ve been doing one interview after another with people predicting the end of the world. I must say, it’s very refreshing to hear a positive tone. Look at this market, it is well off its lows. We have a rally going on here!
Guest: We certainly do. We think this is the absolute bottom, which will never be seen or heard from again. That’s us at The Fucktard Fund. We always look for bargains and right now, based upon our research, stocks are cheaper than a dead donkey in Liberia.
Host: Absolute bottom! Dead Donkey in Liberia! I love it! Good to have you on, Joe Asshat from the Fucktard Funds. Next up on CNBC is Bill Gross from PIMCO.He will tell us why he is holding a loaded gun to America’s head. Stay tuned.
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I thought they stopped having Tom Brown on
Enter Bill Miller
Jed likes to sweat to the oldies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZ2fYQj6IM
“Next up on CNBC is Bill Gross from PIMCO.He will tell us why he is holding a loaded gun to America’s head.”
ROFL
Fly, at his best. Classic stuff. hahhahaah
mrkcbill paid over $14,403 for one of those ROM exercise machines. He used it once and now uses it as a clothes dryer.
I love it. Fuck Bill Gross.
“Look at this market, it is well off its lows.”
–Sue Herrera
great post *****
The fly is a fuckhead
CNBC hosts are like the violin players on the titanic.
“And, now we switch to Matt Nesto and why the average consumer will buy 18 million autos per year with the pending withholding cuts.”
Uh, that’s PIMPCO.
Next on CNBC. Art Hogan who says this is the real bottom
Enter next: Jacobs of the Kinetics Internet Fund circa ’99
Will we see a huge bounce off of 700. I am ready to cover some SPY shorts if it happens. I will close below 700 all hell will break loose, baring a market fuckery announcement out of the White House
Stop the presses. Immelt spent his lunch money on GE shares.
😀 😀 😀
Very nice play by play!
Sorry I missed that one,
too funny.
“stocks are cheaper than a dead donkey in Liberia” –
Classic, classic Fly.
So true, and precisely why my TV has been off. Ah, the sound of silence…
We need some Doors… “this is the end”.. A.N.’s opening napalm scene superimposed on a New York skyline… Ben Bernanke as the general “… and good does not always triumph”… I guess that would put Fly on some sort of mission upriver to fucking kill somebody. I say again, as an optimist, compare where we are economically and earnings-wise with 1982 – It’s true we’re worse off now than then, but I’m pretty sure S&P 120 will hold.
get ready people, Bill Griffith says the CNBC “ALL STARS” are up next…..
I will refrain from commenting.
Here we go if we can just close under 6000 today we can complete the bottom process.
Oh, the “All-Stars”
Damn it. I missed that line.
hey, I claim the napalm comment, you other guys aren’t old enough to remember the Doors… 😉
… housings still gonna turn up… “someday this war’s gonna end”. and by golly, it did.
Where’s Devildog? I thought we had bottomed at 7250?
I’m still looking for the Devildog rally. ;o)
I’m late the 12box video call in, talk over each other session on CNBC. Anyone have the call in number?
Umm. DD went bullish, didn’t he?
He’s an idiot.
Trader Bob: Go fuck a mastodon.
“Umm. DD went bullish, didn’t he?”
LMAO.
Devil Puppy: you out there? This is the decline you’ve been warning everyone about for months. Now you’re long for it?
The Fly is God.
Enjoy CNBC while you can,as this gets taken off the air we will be seeing daily programs of Russian military parades.
This is the current headline on CNBC.com front page right now…..
“Even Amid Gloom, Stocks May End Year With Gains”
Fly, will their bullshit fuckery ever end?
…of everything that stands, the end…
Guest: Well, they’re not happy. Most of our clients have been torpedoed for their entire life savings, so it’s hard to tell.
HAHAHA, after losing everything, its HARD TO TELL!!
Best post in a while fly. I was starting to think you were saving all your good stuff for the ppt.
Anon says: “I’m pretty sure S&P 120 will hold.”
Now THERE’s a prediction I can get behind! LOL
This is THE DAY we bottom.
It’s so absurdly void of interest and depressing a rally is due to ensue this week. So why wait past 3pm today to BUY BUY BUY!!!!!!!
See ya at rally close compadres.
TheArtist,
I thought you were kidding. HOLY SHIT.
“EVEN AMID GLOOM, STOCKS MAY END YEAR WITH GAINS”
That’s the CNBC FRONTPAGE!!!!!! WHO ARE THESE FUCKING CLOWNS?! WHOOOOOOOOOOO?????!!!!
Earnings estimates are being revised down a fucking cliff. HOW THE HELL CAN ANYBODY MAKE THE CASE FOR AN UP YEAR? HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?!!!!
These clowns are destroying mom-and-pops with their criminal guidance.
Okay, now I’ve had it.
Please… someone… BRING IN THE GUILLOTINE.
First up: WALL STREET “STRATEGISTS”
haha yes a buncho’fucktards indeed.
No rally today, in my worthless estimation.
And that was very funny stuff, Fly. Very, very funny
Good post, very funny.
I still don’t understand how these “fund managers” survive. It’s been decades. Ten years ago one of the big ones told me “I don’t have to beat the market, I only have to beat passbook savings accounts.” Okay so that sucks but now clearly they are way under-performing that. How does it work now? Most of them should be out of business. But somehow it doesn’t happen.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Except for the names, it could have been a real interview. I’ed laugh but its not funny anymore. Too many talking heads’ interviews that think they have the answers and the public gets to eat it. Too bad for the follow the leader types( me too)that get fooled by them. But I think they fool themselves too.