iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

In the Funnel: In the Vice

Following back to back fuckery, after a multitude of asshatishness, I find myself with equally balanced shorts to longs and no cash.

Basically, the way I am currently constructed, I need commercial RE to get smashed with some tornadoes, energy stocks to get “machine gunned,” while Chinese stocks walk away with a big shiny trophy.

In addition, also, I need select metal stocks to buck the trend. Knowing that this is nearly impossible, I have reduced myself to a gawking spectator, unable to make or lose money in the market, unless something odd happens.

Terrific.

Just prior to this post, I nibbled on a little TZA, just south of $54.60, mainly because I want to increase my bearish stance, ahead of tomorrow’s data. But, in the big scheme of things, it’s like I just added a single mushroom to a big pot of shit soup.

It will have little effect, if any.

So, my only recourse is to pick a side. On one hand, “Barack the Builder” and his tax evading Treasury Chief will work diligently to put condoms in the hands of underage kids, and also try to create a few jobs.

On the other, WE ARE IN A FUCKING DELAFATIONARY VORTEX, EQUAL TO SOME SORT OF FUCKED UP BLACK HOLE IN SOME SORT OF FAR AWAY GALAXY THAT JUST SWALLOWED 10 PLANETS AND 50 MOONS.

What was I thinking, going long with my cash?

Bottom line: I still have year to date gains of about 6%, with very little existing market risk. God willing, I will time the next inflection point perfectly and springboard to double digit gains, yet again.

An XOM miss tomorrow can certainly help my cause. Indeed.

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53 comments

  1. kidstock

    The Fly is God

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  2. EN1GMA

    you have long positions b/c you know the short term trend is somewhat up for now

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  3. Gwar

    Am I correct that XOM lowerd EPS estimates a while back?

    I’m short XOM, avg 79.60

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  4. TraderCaddy

    Seeing the Penguin I know what Fly was watching this AM on AMC (’60s Batman movie with The Riddler,The Penguin, and The Joker).
    He forgot to ask Biden about Pelosi’s taxpayer paid for private jet.

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  5. GW

    Shit soup is right….what a mess this market is…

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  6. Gwar

    Cool bartending story Jake. Were the mets big drinkers?

    Do Yankee fans lean towards the Giants?

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  7. CAP

    GDP numbers tomorrow. Get in the Funnel . Viz

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  8. 4fl3x

    Master Fly, any opinion on ITT or T?

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  9. Jason Liske

    XOM = BXP. Have to ride it out higher I suppose.

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  10. Mr. Limm

    Basically, the way I am currently constructed, I need commercial RE to get smashed with some tornadoes, energy stocks to get “machine gunned,” while Chinese stocks walk away with a big shiny trophy.

    Ohhhh, FANK YOU Missah Fry! FANK You veddy veddy much!

    _____________

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  11. CAP

    MR. LIMM, Is that picture from the special Olympics ?

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  12. JakeGint

    So, let me get this correct, if I may… is the vice, at the bottom (or “mouth”) of the funnel, or is one squeezed first into the funnel, under the ministrations of aforesaid vice?

    ___________

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  13. Mr. Limm

    No Cap, you sirry sef-ferratah!

    It is flom LEGURAH Orympics!

    ___________

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  14. Dr. Incognito

    Oh wow, where the hell has Mr. Limm been all this time? He has been missed greatly, I ROR’d.

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  15. JakeGint

    Gwar — to be clear… I was not a bartender at the Library, just a patron after my job bartending for old rich farts at a golf club.

    But to answer your question, yes… at least the ones who came to this joint. Especially the fat surly relief pitcher whose name I cannot recall right now… Ochoa, or something like that?

    Orosco!!

    ________

    To answer your second question — I have seen a pretty strong correlation with Yankees-Giants and Mets-Jets. I think it comes from most Lawn Guylanders coming from Brooklyn and moving to the Guyland, whilst most Yankee fan families came from the Bronx area, and moved to Westchester or CT. The Polo Grounds and the Yale Bowl — former Giant fora before Giants Stadium (along with Yankee Stadium) — were therefore closer to those folk, whilst the Jets playing in Shea made for a natural match with old Brooklyn Dodger fan cum Mets fans who also played in Shea.

    _________

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  16. Site Appraiser

    I have run a valuation for the site:

    $1.92 Mil

    Let me know if you want to proceed with a listing sir.

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  17. MayorBloomberg

    That is quite an annual tangible tax you are paying on the assessed value of your blog.
    You have been paying this tax haven’t you? It’s our newest tax in NYC.
    We need the $$.

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  18. Braveflaps

    If you don’t see any Tang when you are approaching that black hole, sir, mind your uniform and be very, very careful.

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  19. Little2rich4u

    SOLD!!!!!

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  20. JakeGint

    Let me know if you want to proceed with a listing sir.

    “Listing?”

    Oy vey.

    _________

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  21. MayorBloomberg the new Salt Nazi
    MayorBloomberg the new Salt Nazi

    NO SALT FOR YOU!

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  22. Proshares

    Who makes riot gear, tear gas and body bags?

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  23. Danny

    XOM is 6% of SP500. Largest weight in blah blah blah. So yeah, if it misses, SP down a horse-tit, min.

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  24. Old Timer

    I just entered MER into my Quotron and it came back with “bad symbol.” I re-typed it more carefully. Same result. Can someone here help a gentleman out? I only check this concern once per annum.

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  25. Henry Fool

    not so quick I’ll pay 2 mill even for the site

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  26. Contrary Indicator
    Contrary Indicator

    “But, in the big scheme of things, it’s like I just added a single mushroom to a big pot of shit soup.”

    this made me LOL.

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  27. TraderCaddy

    Moron banker on CNBC.
    He thinks we are living in a capitalist economy.

    Speaking of which they just signed an equal work equal pay BS bill. Being a former employer I noticed it doesn’t say who is productive and who isn’t. So the bad worker has to get paid the same as the good worker, Male or Female if they are doing the same work.
    Nice.

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  28. Lady Guenevere

    “BLACK HOLE IN SOME SORT OF FAR AWAY GALAXY THAT JUST SWALLOWED 10 PLANETS AND 50 MOONS.”

    That comes Dec 21 2012

    Proof that the center of the galaxy there is a Supermassive Black Hole. The most destructive source in the Universe is lurking at the center of our galaxy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjzDJWD8k_U

    Download a link of a ‘ countdown’ calendar to the end of time!

    http://www.flashbuilding.com/free_flash_files.php

    Live it up till then!

    🙂

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  29. Henry Fool

    only 1 position giving me a hard time today AFAM

    AFAM is down 12 out of the past 15 days from 50 to 30 give or take a buck.

    WHAT’S UP? How cheap can this stock get?

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  30. TheArtist

    todays action….
    http://b00tix.com/~pablo/farside/images/Far%20Side%20194.jpg

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  31. Lady Guenevere

    Henry I believe I mentioned to you that you should sell that AFAM last week when you were asking all of us.

    Meanwhile my SRS is rockin’

    BGZ is too

    .

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  32. mike

    I hope AMZN misses.

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  33. Vahe

    kidstock sucks zombies tiny dick

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  34. Henry Fool

    AFAM just bottomed when it capped the bulls knees and took out the stops under 30.

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  35. The Zombie

    Man, there are a ton of haters here recently cursing the Zombie. What’s up with all these new IDs and why am I the target of such hatred? WTF did I do? I merely spread the word of God.

    Vahe: Go back to fucking your blow up doll, you jealous cunt.

    The Fly is God.

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  36. Proshares

    I just sold my AFAM, so it should skyrocket in 3..2…1

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  37. Jed

    The Zombie == cocksucker

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  38. the prof

    a few more people are short today, but more are still long… as I said yesterday, combination of unemployment claims and sell-off in treasuries will scare the market, particularly the latter. I believe a lot of bond traders know that the treasury has already been buying back their own IOU’s with more IOU’s ala Bernie Madoff (who should immediately be employed by the government as a consultant for which we should pay him approximately 50 billion a year, as he is the master of their game). Now they’re starting to see that the same profit taking and gaming of the system will occur as when the clowns sent the banks higher via capital injections. So, the govt will continue their stupid academic market manipulation but ultimately this will lead to the vortex the Fly is talking about, throwing the big bucks down Thain’s commode. Nothing worse than spoon fed bearded academic capitalists. The only way to save this country is efficiency through single payer health insurance etc and let the rest of the fuckers hang themselves on their own spoon fed stupidity (and sue them for their bonuses). Once the labor force is free to move around rather than get sucked into employer based health insurance, the country will take off like a rocket.

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  39. dave

    Ebony and Ivory talking about his stool.

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  40. Wiglebot

    Definition of Black hole Deflation:

    Entropy increases with a tight gravitational mesh.
    And the mesh gets tighter because there is no surface to stop the pull.

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  41. The Zombie

    WTF? Fly, all these haters are turning this into a Yahoo message board.

    Jed: Go fuck your pet ape.

    The Fly is God.

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  42. nobodyspecial

    Obama was just on TV, why isn’t the stock market going up?

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  43. JAF Observer

    Zombie…why don’t you try shutting the fuck up for a while? Maybe the haters will go away.

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  44. Juancho

    XOM is tanking a bit today, should be good for more tomorrow…

    I blame these tiny black holes on the Large Hadron Collider.

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  45. Lady Guenevere

    “The world’s physicists have spent 14 years and $8 billion building the Large Hadron Collider, in which the colliding protons will recreate energies and conditions last seen a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. Researchers will sift the debris from these primordial recreations for clues to the nature of mass and new forces and symmetries of nature.

    But Walter Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a “strangelet” that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called “strange matter.” Their suit also says CERN has failed to provide an environmental impact statement as required under the U.S. National Environmental Policy Act”

    I think we are already experiencing ‘ strange matter’……

    .

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  46. Henry Fool

    Proshares Says:

    You sold the bottom in AFAM it is true.

    Don’t let it get to you.

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  47. MayorBloomberg

    Don’t worry about the taxes Fly as the value of this blog has decreased rapidly due to some of the idiotic comments being recently posted.

    And leave Zombie alone or I will send Al Sharpton after you.

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  48. the prof

    to me the day is ending on one of the most bearish notes I’ve seen for a while, a kind of apathetic low volume drift down as if hypnotized long traders are watching their profits dwindle without the slightest care in the world… if they were all getting short and trying to ride the wave down we’d be looking at a rally soon enough… hard to know where this is going but this is the kind of apathy that will prove Carter Worth wrong.

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  49. Braveflaps

    Mine eyes have seen the glory: SRS closes near day’s high.

    The high.

    All Fuckery gigs cancelled until further notice.

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  50. JakeGint

    Prof — you just recommended forced shitty health care for all as a remedy to economic malaise.

    Not for nothing, if the moniker “prof” didn’t already shoot down your credibility, that loopy recommendation surely did.

    _____________

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  51. jjjsix6

    Once XOM falls on its sword I can can bank some coin in DUG. I haven’t backed a winner in a while.

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  52. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    It was yet again another Glorious Day! Major wins in TZA, DUG, Short XOM, DXO (minor win), and CHK and AAPL didn’t perform all that bad considering. Now let the shit get ripped out of XOM tomorrow and things will be even better.

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  53. Gwar

    Gibbets & Gallows for XOM tommorow…

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