This Depression Will Be Cooler

I was out with the family yesterday; basically following Mrs. Fly around—paying for stuff that she deemed “necessary.” For the kids, we went to a variety of stores, picking up little things along the way. The one thing that stood out, a common denominator if you will, everything was on sale. The most startling thing I have ever experience occurred at “The Gap,” where a desperate sales person gave us access to his employee discount card (30% off), just so he could meet his quota. In other words, he was like “yo, buy a lot of stuff and I’ll hook you up.” I was like “you’re on, fuckface.”

Then, we moseyed on over to the sneaker stores, all 5 of them. Much to my chagrin, none of the stores carried 1/2 sizes. My youngest son is a size 10 1/2 sneaker. I guess during big ass depressions, store managers keep their inventories low by only stocking up on full sizes.

Finally, Mrs. Fly jogged on to the Coach store, where she bought “the latest bag.” Long story short, those fucking sales people were the most egregious hard sellers I’ve ever encountered at the shopping mall—almost as bad as stock brokers. They were trying to close me on some bullshit $100 wallet for about 15 minutes. They even took turns trying to “seal the deal.” Morons. “The Fly” cannot be closed; scientifically, it is impossible.

Quick note: I even found parking near the mall, which was a 30 minute endeavor, this time— last year.

Look you, the country is fucked. Its “fuckedness” stems from the budget shortfalls municipalities will face, burdened by declining tax revenues and increasing jobless rates. Many, many cities and states, in this ass backwards union, have HUGE infrastructure projects underway. Needless to say, they will not be able to fund them anymore.

The money is gone. An egregious age of deflation is upon us. Poof, just like that.

I must admit, I am shocked by the lack of leadership in this country. Words cannot express how idiotic Paulson and Co. look right now, reversing their stance on the TARP program. Basically, they are saying “fuck you, you’re dead,” to all of the weak banks. Because of this, there will be a huge wave of bank closings— and soon.

Actually, their latest position is a logical one, which is: why give dead banks money, if they are dead? However, on Wall Street, we don’t like it when policy changes so dramatically. It makes everyone nervous. We have a bunch of headless horsemen leading us into a war.

The markets are in danger of trading down significantly, due to uncertainty. Everyone I know, who manages big money, is nervous.

I keep switching my market bias, because things keep changing. One week it appears the Government has a handle on things; the next they are chopping off each others cocks. I’m sorry, but I can’t invest on the long side, while my leaders are running around without their cocks.

Naturally, the fuckery is not isolated in America. Worldwide, growth is slowing to a standstill. Don’t be a fucking hero, amidst the biggest banking freeze up, since the wonderful times of the last Great Depression.

Without a doubt, we are heading into a depression or something like it, where employment and inventories run dry. However, this time, it will be much cooler to watch, on my brand new LCD, as opposed to where Grandpa Fly found news: on his bullshit AM radio, made from “Marconi”— “a fine Italian”—no doubt.

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