iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,053 Blog Posts

The Important Matter of Inflation

I just got back from dinner. I had a grand ol’ time, with grilled steaks and potatoes to nosh on, while drinking excessive amounts of Bordeaux.

I lived it up, mind you. While at dinner, “The Fly” exclaimed (using a hand gesture): “2 1/2 inch rib eyes for all,” as if they grew on trees. At this small, but high end, restaurant, people referred to me as “The Santa Claus of Steaks.”

Being in a generous mood, I ordered several rounds of poor people beer, for the wolves at the bar. I even let my guests order a giant chocolate cake for dessert.

Feeling good, despite recent market chro-bars to the cranium, I was pleased to be tagged “Santa Claus of Steaks,” being that everyone seemed so hungry at this restaurant.

However, and I do mean however, once the bill came I was somewhat vexed. The grand total for my charitable acts amounted to an absurd $1,333.06.

I shouted to the waiter: “How dare you approach me with such lies. If this were medieval times and I were King, I’d have your head removed from your neck for such an affront. Go fetch me another bill.”

The young waiter replied: “Yes, Sir,” and went to discuss matters with his manager.

Feeling as if I had just defeated this young aspiring actor, I ordered another round of whiskey for my party. Things were looking up, yet again.

However, and I do mean however, this young insolent fool re-approached my table of “steak and honor” and handed me an even more egregious bill.

He exclaimed: “So sorry, Sir. I forgot to add our 25% gratuity. Your new bill is $1,666.33. Will you be paying with cash or credit”?

I stood up with great emotion and determination, stating: “What’s the meaning of this? I demand a thorough explanation. I’ve been a customer of this shit house for 10 years. I’ve never had a bill so erroneously high.”

He shot back, with a sarcastic tone to his voice: “Inflation.”

Feeling defeated and desperate (I cannot believe what I’m about to tell you), I replied: “But, but Dennis Kneale says inflation is a figment of my imagination. It’s backward looking after all. I refuse to acknowledge your costs.”

By then, people throughout the establishment were looking at me strangely, with the exception to the wolves at the bar—who encouraged me to “punch him (the waiter) in the fucking face.”

So, being the man of honour [sic] that I am, I paid the bastard of a bill and “accidentally” broke a few glasses, prior to leaving my “table of steak and honor.”

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39 comments

  1. Gunners

    Where do you live that rib eyes don’t grow on trees?

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  2. whatmeworry

    cute story, for a Fly fable

    egregious, yet fancy, with a moral to boot

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  3. TraderCaddy

    You should have clipped the discount coupon from the paper and gone to the early bird special. You could have saved enough for a Starbucks tomorrow.

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  4. mdawsz

    I don’t take friends out for dinner unless the bill will be at least $2k.

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  5. gappingandyapping

    You people need to understand that this is good for the consumer:

    http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/02/27/business/26gasweb.php

    $4.00 gas gets a lot better mileage that $3.00 spending should accelerate like my car that uses $4.00 gas. This is a sign of deflation. The market should rip on this news.

    Also don’t forget that this below signals no inflation as more expensive corn tastes better and keeps you full longer. Hunger will be eliminated soon!

    http://futures.tradingcharts.com/charts/CNM.GIF

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  6. Dogwood

    That higher-mileage $4 gas should help with truck and SUV sales, too. Time to load up on F and GM.

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  7. DPeezy

    Inflation is good cause then…like…we can all be millionaires!

    Take THAT, Regis Philbin.

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  8. Francesco

    beautiful story

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  9. OscarMayer

    I have an extravagant high end weiner-mobile to maintain. For chissakes, feed your fucking asshole friends more hot dogs.

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  10. DPeezy

    OscarMayer:

    You also need better drivers. Should cut down maintenance costs:
    http://www.stargazettenews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080211/NEWS01/802110323

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  11. Dinosaur Trader

    I think your use of “nosh” is highly questionable.

    That’s a word that 60 year old moms use, not ribeye eating, first-tier bloggers.

    -DT

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  12. jeff

    Price appreciation is caused by inflation.

    Inflation = printing more cash.

    DXDDX

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  13. Greekpunk

    WSJ(2/27): Issuers Ask SEC for Break Amid Auction Woes
    These fuckers want to be allowed to bid on their own paper. In layman’s terms, that’d be like me placing my most prized possession(the shirt off my own back) on eBay and bidding up the price over the course of the auction. Yeah, ok. How stupid do I look? It’s hard to say how Christopher Cox and his bureaucrats will react. Anything, and I mean anything, is possible when a government is under duress.

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  14. buylo

    I can only pray you did not order a Kahlifornia Bordeaux!

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  15. rob

    did it ever occur to you that you’re a complete fuckup and loser.

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  16. Fly's assassin

    rob,

    you will pay for that comment.

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  17. Market God

    I’m seeing deflation in the high end. Just yesterday I received a card from Morton’s Steakhouse for a (deflation) special: Dinner for 2 with Filet, choice of seafood, salad, side, and dessert for $ 99.00. That meal regular costs me $ 150.

    At first I thought it was a 1 time offer. Then, after reading closer, I noticed I can get this deal till June. So who cares if my dollar is worth (less), with deflation like this I don’t mind.

    P.S. To all those whiners today about the market going up because of IBM and that IBM shouldn’t be helping all other companies, one day you will learn the secret to the market – It’s the reaction to the news, not the news itself.

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  18. anonII

    Maybe fly can use the “machine gun” and “man out the window” buttons as needed:

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/18724672/site/14081545/

    Odd how the Mad Money recap excluded the first segment of the show tonite where he was talking about biodeisel and something (I missed it) that would put pressure on the five horsemen of the ag sector for the next three days then they could be bot again…. anyone else catch that segment?

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  19. JakeGint

    By then, people throughout the establishment were looking at me strangely, with the exception to the wolves at the bar—who encouraged me to “punch him (the waiter) in the fucking face.”

    That’s some good shit there.

    ___________________

    Sawzall, as for this:

    I don’t take friends out for dinner unless the bill will be at least $2k.

    Yeah, so you can either stick them with the bill or act all “large handed” and then charge it back to the client.

    I know how you fucking ambulance chasers work…

    Btw, did you see the Obama paycut you’re going to take?

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  20. crystalballer

    fickle fed: back in summer, the fed was talking about risks of inflation that were non-existent at that time. now that inflation does exist, they don’t seem to acknowledge it. go figure. i know their perspective is that growth is more of a concern than inflation running at 12% annualized, but come on! you have to question your strategy when the dollar is reaching record lows and other countries are not slashing rates.

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  21. JakeGint

    Okay, Gary Savage sent out an emailer tonight that was probably one of the most bearish I’ve seen from him since he officially went “full bear” back in November.

    Gary’s like the opposite of Fly… dry, not a huge sense of humor, slightly boring, academic, a techician. A very nice guy, etc.

    Oh yeah, and he’s right a lot.

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  22. JakeGint

    He used the “h” word, as in “hyperinflation.”

    ________________

    Oh yeah, and for the twenty eight seconds of the Comm… err I mean “Democrat” debate that I could stand to watch, both Shrillery and Obammie were knocking each other over the head to say how fast they’d nix NAFTA to “save the jobs of union asshats in Youngstown and Syracuse, etc, etc.”

    So we can expect

    1) Inflation (already a done deal)

    2) Higher taxes (coming to you in Novemeber or at least by 2010).

    3) Rising Unfunded Pension liabilities (Socialist Security and Medicare)

    4) and now…. an anti-free trade Administration.

    Those of you who are students of economic history will know the name “Herbert Hoover” (Republican in name only).

    Those of you not familiar with Herb should check the Wiki ASAP.

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  23. sellSELLsell

    That story is not true…

    I have it on good authority The Fly tips at least 30% when he picks up the bill. Despite his harsh talk of taunting his dumb ass neighbor and playing mind games with the homeless men of New York, The Fly is a softy when it comes to the gratuity.

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  24. JakeGint

    Dino —

    If you’re from Crooklyn, you’re given a lifetime dispensation on all yiddishisms like “nosh” — even if you are part Eyetale, like the Fly.

    My mother is from Rockaway, which is not technically Brooklyn (it’s Queens, although Breezy Point is, and that’s where she hung out most of the time) and she’s got more Yiddish than a majority of my Tribal friends.

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  25. The Fly

    “Gary’s like the opposite of Fly… dry, not a huge sense of humor, slightly boring, academic, a techician. A very nice guy, etc.

    Oh yeah, and he’s right a lot.”

    You will pay for your insolence, dearly.

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  26. PleaseKillMe

    I have in my basement freezer, 20 loafs of whole grain wheat bread frozen since last summer. AAA-rated by Moodys mind you. Only the best for me.

    My plan is to sell them this spring for a foreclosed house in California. I shall be so lucky if a grain falls off the crust that I can use to purchase the city of Cleveland.

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  27. ezthere

    Hoover ? lets blame FDR and the new deal era. While Robert Moses was rebuilding NY with FED $$, spending like a teenager with a new credit card. This country suffered. Until that is, Dec 7th.

    Bush strong armed greenspan into dropping rates, propping up the economy for a reelection bid. Now we have to pay the pipper.

    Funny no one talks about raising rates and what effect that will have. anyone notice that the banks are not passing the savings on lower rates to it’s customers. It’s scalping the difference.

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  28. SaNTa

    Well done, Fly. Well done.

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  29. Hong Kong Bull

    25% gratuity? Fuck that! Bloody numbskull needs an English lesson.
    I never can come to terms with “gratuity” being mandatory… makes no sense. Just advertise the price as 25% higher and stop bullshitting me!
    You should punch the ball sacks off every restauranteur in the USA for ripping you all off blind.

    Come to think of it, I could use a good Rib-Eye now… lunch time over here, and we’re ripping up 3.72% on the main board. After today, even though I can afford to pay said “gratuity”, any prick that demands it is being taken out to the carpark, and dealt with accordingly.

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  30. Gio

    That’s some tab. Ours came out to about $700 this past weekend. I ate a ton of sushi from the buffet, and threw out the rice. Gotta do what you gotta do when inflation robs yah.

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  31. mrkcbill

    Did the Fly bring a “doggie bag” back for his “Trader/Servants”. Just Axing?

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  32. whatmeworry

    http://www.minyanville.com/articles/MBI/index/a/16067

    a man after Fry’s heart

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  33. I'm serial about this
    I'm serial about this

    Hyperinflation will solve all of our problems!

    Abundant US pesos can be used to heat your home, thereby eliminating the need to convert corn to fuel your car. (Currency notes burn longer than the amount of firewood they can buy.)

    This also ushers in the era of energy self-sufficiency and prosperity long sought by our public servants in DC.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ca/Inflation-1923.jpg/250px-Inflation-1923.jpg

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  34. JakeGint

    Ez- don’t get me wrong, FDR was a commie efftard, and even moreso than Hoover. But he would’ve never gotten elected if it weren’t for Hoover raising taxes and shutting the trade lanes right after a major deflationary market crash.

    FDR’s socialism only exacerbated the situation, but Hoover got the ball rolling.

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  35. JakeGint

    Anyone watching the Japanese fiat this morning?

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  36. Michelle B

    DT, nosh fits perfectly in the context in which the Fly is using it. Nosh mean to snack, so the glaring implication is that Fly is so rich and generous that he and his friends can ‘snack’ on pricey steak.

    Oh yeah, when I take out my friends to dinner I rent out the nearby Chateau and hire a personally picked team of world famous chefs to do the menu. So there, you plebs.

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  37. calvino

    Little Tojo and Yamamoto continue to fuck us in the morning. That;s ok my glowing friends, when we are bankrpt and withdraw from Okinawa, you will be learning Han Chinese very quickly – no more English school for you.

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  38. Bernanke

    For the Nth time, inflation is irrelevant. The important thing is for you to spend all your dollars, preferably on real estate, before they both become completely worthless. It’s for the good of the country.

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  39. DougSF

    $1600 for dinner? What is that after the dollar sodomy today, about 73 Euros?

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